Snoink

It's not exactly 1666, because modding comes first, but it's pretty close! :D Anyway, here it is. And, halfway through recording, I realized that you had dial-up so... hopefully it ...

I don't know about this. It took me a little while to get through the first paragraph because it was so repetitious. Which isn't necessarily bad, especially in humorous works ...

I couldn't really see it, actually. Perhaps I am blind. But, though you talked about eyes and hearts, that was about it. I think it would be pretty awesome if ...

Unfortunately, this poem is too true. *stabs 43* With that said, I think the second line is a little wordy and I would probably trim it a little. I think ...

Aw shucks. You took it down. :( Well, I'm going to lock it as it's not really a story now, but if you want to post it back up, feel ...

Seventh, stupid, redundant, immure, bantering. Yes. We hate that very much. This is better than your previous work, but it's still not good and you're not putting as much effort ...

I don't think this works. I mean, first of all, you're telling us this. And, from the description you give us, we're supposed to feel sorry for the girl. Unfortunately, ...

SPEW gets its own song! :o I can't wait to listen to this! :D

You're trying to hard to stretch the metaphor. Instead of letting us, the lovely readers, decide that the metaphor of the wet flowers and ropes represent a lost virginity, you're ...

This has too many adjectives to make a strong point. Let me demonstrate -- if I took out all the adjectives, it would look like this: Sacrifices to skies Offer ...

The beginning of it is pretty cool because it talks about the reminders and everything, and at first I thought he had died. But then, apparently he just broke up ...

I liked everything that was violent. Which sounds slightly sadistic, but it's true. When you described love as a beating, then it was just so much more interesting because a ...

The narrator of the poem actually seems pretty biased. He's pointing out all these shallow things and then he points out to us that, lo, her heart is gold. But ...

Sue me. I thought it was a fiction story at first. So I was looking at the dialogue and the description coming with the lines with the dialogue, thinking, "Wow, ...

If I were in your shoes, I would choose a nice chocolate bar. That would be good. As it is, it is a little vague. For instance, you say that ...