Snoink

Hey Juggalette! Welcome to YWS! :D Your poem is a little bit strange! You talk about love and the other abstracts, then you say it isn't meant to be. And ...

Stop . using .... gimmicky ....... tricks ............. like ................... this. Not only do they detract from your poem, but they make the poem more about the gimmick than your ...

Hey Kate! One thing that kind of bugged me... your constant repetition of "dishwasher's bane" or "bane of dishwashers." You really don't have to say that all the time. :P ...

Oooh! I liked this! :D One thing... I really liked the subject and the way you put it and the questions you put in our heads, so that was fine! ...

As a side note completely unrelated to your poem, when you said "lamb" I was reminded of this: Yeah... it's pretty epic! It's an extreme herding sort of thing! As ...

Hi Eric! Right now, it seems like this poem is mostly made of a bunch of ideas that you thought were cool into a bunch of ordered phrases that you ...

Hey Jenny! So, this could be because I'm sick and I can't focus on much, but it was really hard to focus on your poem because you kept on going ...

Hi Alex! Welcome to YWS! :D In this poem, you show us a brutal image and keep on describing what is going on, but you never actually give us an ...

Wait! Warriors = Warrior Cats? Or am I completely confused? Not that I know either series, but still... One thing that I wondered about! Foxes are really shy creatures and ...

Hey Jame! Nice poem! At first I thought it would be twisted, a la "Man of La Mancha" but it wasn't! It was oddly sweet. There's just one thing that ...

Haha, yay for old works! It's all right, especially for a twelve-year-old! If you wanted to revise this and make it better, consider taking out some of the adjectives and ...

Aw, what a cute poem! It kind of reminds me of the Hallmark Cards (you know, the romantic ones) or perhaps a poem that would belong to an illustrated children's ...

Hey zephyrpig! Awesome username, by the way. ;) (Me? Like pigs? NEVER.) I thought this was cool because I definitely got that sort of wicked witch feeling from it... and ...

Hey chanchan! :D This is funny! I giggled through it... just when he starts to sound evil, he acts weird and spastic. And come on, that's pretty hilarious! :D Just ...

Just a quick thing: "The great tubas of pain, wrapped around her stomach, the blood, the blood, the stall floor was slippery with it." Tubas? It just seems a bit ...