Published January 22, 2010
My dearest...
I've watched you for a long time... (About almost all you're life)
I want you all for myself... (Do you have a boyfriend?!)
I only wish no man has captured you're heart (I'LL TEAR HIM APART!!!)
For you're beauty only belongs to me... (oh sooo true... 
)
You're a sight for sore eyes... (AAARGHHH my eyes!!)
I remember the time you fell and cut your cheek (What a wonderful shade of red...)
When you bled... My heart cried (I couldn't take a taste!!)
For now I shall bid farewell...(Heh heh heeeehh)
But when we meet I hope we are alone... (Have I sharpened my fangs yet??)
See you soon... (I can't wait!! Hehee)
From Your secret admirer (the very first one)
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140,616 Literary Works • 673,554 Reviews
Hey, Chan! Nice to meet you.
Okay, so this made me smile...and I'm having a pretty rough day so that's like a whole fit of laughter right now. Lol. YWS is always such a happy little place.
Yeah, and I'd like to point out the difference between your and you're. You're= you are. Your=your dog, your house, your money, etc. etc.
The hehee on the last line isn't really needed, but I guess you're the writer and can decide that.
Well. Tata.
-Mizzzzzle
Haha, I loved this in a strange way. It made me giggle.
Obviously there is the difference between your and you're, but that's been mentioned. I was also going to point out the ending, but, again, Kyl did that for me.
I think that the 'hehee' isn't really necessary here, but it's your call!
*snerks*
Nice one!
~Amy
Sorry I didn't laugh, I got confused, didn't know if the purpose was to be funny. I guess I am just a bad sport or something. The Line things ( ) got on my nerves. Sorry.
-Flower-
This made me giggle. XD
As Snoink already mentioned, there is a huge difference between "you're" and "your". Even with a spelling/grammar checker, you'll have to be sure to carefully proofread your work because this is one of several common errors spelling/grammar checkers don't pick up.
In letters, the complimentary close (in this case, "From") is always on a separate line and ends with a comma. In letter format, this line should be:
In addition to that, the parenthetical aside at the end made the poem feel a bit incomplete, as if there was something else coming after it. I would suggest rephrasing the line to:
It feels more like an ending, doesn't it?
Hey chanchan!
This is funny! I giggled through it... just when he starts to sound evil, he acts weird and spastic. And come on, that's pretty hilarious!
Just one thing... there's a difference between "you're" and "your"!
Examples of each:
"You're so beautiful!"
Notice how "you're" is a contraction of "you are."
"I want your awesome writing skills!"
Notice how "your" is a possessive word.
Anyway, nice to see your poetry! Good luck!