Snoink

Awww, it sucks when dogs die. :( They become more than friends really quickly... they're beautiful creatures and lovely companions! The only way I can figure it is they die ...

Hello again, Captian! :D I think this poem sounds like thinly disguised whining, if that makes sense. That is, you're invisible but sometimes people notice you, but it's not for ...

Hey Harmony! :D One thing I would suggest is to put something concrete in here! That is, you have a lot of abstract concepts introduced in here from discoveries to ...

Hey Ceres! :D The main complaint is this seems like one disjointed poem connected with a full poem! Basically? The first stanza doesn't really fit with the rest of the ...

Hey Poe! You like a good poet. ;) Anyway, as far as this poem goes, I found this very very abstract... cripplingly so! You delved on the problems with the ...

Hey Captian! :D I definitely agree with ireylcadence here! You are telling quite a bit! I think this poem would be a lot better if you took just one of ...

Hey JustDance! :D I think this might actually work as a story better! :D What this is missing, for both the story and for the poem, is why this is ...

Hey Way2Dawn! :D One thing I think you can improve on is making this poem more subtle! I'm used to reading poetry, so I really like digging through the poem ...

Hey SilentRain! :D First of all, the answer is no, it's not better that way. Then you can't write poems, no? :D I like the first stanza! It has sharp ...

Hey Emily! :D I think the reason why Jasmine said this poem was a bit abstract was because its metaphors didn't really make sense! That is, your metaphors are very ...

Hey Rose! :D One of things that I wondered while I read the poem was what made his actions forever unforgivable? That is, you talked about how he could never ...

Hey inkwell! This sounds awful, but it seemed like several random thoughts were strung together, given a similar theme, and put into a poem. That is, at first you say ...

Hey trinaa! :) Glad to see you posted this on the forums! :) Anyway, on to the critique! First of all, you have a number of typos in this! For ...

Hey personalinsanity! :D One thing I would really like to see is more description of the gaping hole. You have all this description of being trapped, but I would love ...

LOL! What a crazy contest, no? :) Anyway, I really like the beginning, with the peeled orange, but then it starts to waver and rely on the random, and I ...