Forever Unforgiveable

You came to me today
looking so innocent as you say you're sorry.
You tell me you still want to be friends
but how stupid do you think I am,
your apology means nothing,
you don't really care,
you aren't sorry you broke my heart.
I've shed too many tears for sorry to mean anything.
There is no forgetting what you did to me,
the scars run too deep to go back to anything we were before.
I'm moving on,
leaving what has happened behind.
You've caused too much damage for me to call you my friend again.
There is no making up for what you did,
so if you're asking for forgiveness
then you can forget it.
After what has happened
after what you did,
forgiveness is something I'll never give you.
My heart may have let you go but it will never forgive you.
I've learned from my mistake,
my mistake of ever trusting you.
You're a fool to think I'll make that mistake twice.
I think it best if we just accept what happened and go our separate ways,
there's no going back to the way things were before.
There's no second chances,
You made the choice to play me,
the blame is on your shoulders.
You should of thought twice before you hurt me so ruthlessly
then left me to drown in the tears and lies that surrounded me,
but you didn't because you didn't care.
I meant nothing to you,
it was all just a game to you.
If you miss me now well that’s too bad,
I can't forget what you did to me nor can I forgive you
because you destroyed my heart,
my trust,
and any of my feelings for you.
You're sorries are nothing at all,
your sorries aren't good enough to make up for what you did.
They mean nothing at all.
There is no forgiving the unforgiveable,
and what you did is forever Unforgiveable.

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
silented1
Review

Rose94 wrote:You came to me today
looking so innocent as you say you're sorry. You swiched tense. Did you mean you said?
You tell me you still want to be friends
but how stupid do you think I am,
your apology means nothing,
you don't really care,
you aren't sorry you broke my heart. you should use some imagery more so than just listing what is what.
I've shed too many tears for sorry to mean anything.
There is no forgetting what you did to me,
the scars run too deep to go back to anything we were before. you might want to reword this line to so that it makes more sense.
I'm moving on,
leaving what has happened behind.
You've caused too much damage for me to call you my friend again.
There is no making up for what you did, you've said this already.
so if you're asking for forgiveness
then you can forget it. this is redundant too.
After what has happened
after what you did,
forgiveness is something I'll never give you. Whoa, I feel like I've read that before.
My heart may have let you go but it will never forgive you. You've said this before too.
I've learned from my mistake,
my mistake of ever trusting you.
You're a fool to think I'll make that mistake twice. Mistake was over used here, sorry. You may want to change the words up.
I think it best if we just accept what happened and go our separate ways,
there's no going back to the way things were before.

Sorry for not reviewing the entire thing and I think you should you some imagery along with smilies and metaphores. To help SHOW us more of these rather than telling us.
Good luck, keep writing. Silented1.

User avatar
Snoink
Review
Snoink wrote a review · Fri Jun 25, 2010 7:47 am

Hey Rose! :D

One of things that I wondered while I read the poem was what made his actions forever unforgivable? That is, you talked about how he could never be forgiven, etc., but as I read it, it seemed like he really didn't do much... to me (and this might be because of my age) it seemed like it was just a relationship that just didn't work. And that's not anybody's fault, really. So, to me, the narrator seemed very... self-righteous and unlikable, if only because she was so inflexible and over-dramatic.

If you want to make your narrator likable, explain what he did to her! Maybe he killed her brother? I don't know. But we should at least be shown why she is like this! Otherwise, this seems very melodramatic!

User avatar
CaptianRandom
Review

Hi Rose94, I'm CaptianRandom,
I loved this poem you've really captured my attention with the most descriptive words that made me lose myself in your poem. 1 thing that i thought was a mistake you should break the wording up, its a good length for thus poem but you should break it up a little. But other than that i love this poem and i hope to read more of your posts.

-CaptianRandom



This is a house of homes, a sacred place, by human passion made divinely sweet.
— Alfred Joyce Kilmer