SemperAugustus

Hi, I found the first line to be a good hook but the lack of explanation for passing such a law to attend a boarding school as well as the ...

Hi, I felt the start of your chapter wasn't written like a story but rather like a summary of a movie. I feel there should be a little more to ...

Hi, I like the part where Meda wakes up but the dream exposition felt really long. I read somewhere that starting with a dream isn't that effective. Dreams are supposed ...

Hi, I haven't read any of your other chapters so I'll review this as a standalone. There are a few parts at the start that make it hard to get ...

Hi, I haven't read your first chapter and will review this chapter as a standalone. I feel that this chapter has a lot going on but the reactions aren't natural ...

Hi, The start really caught my attention but I found it difficult to get through for a couple of reasons. The descriptions at the start was really long and there ...

Hi, I liked the writing of this chapter. Though at the start, the descriptions feel very dramatic and pulls away from the story. I understood that the interaction is between ...

Hi, I found the chapter interesting. The first two sentences at the start appear a bit long and monotonous. I would change some of the length to add a little ...

The chapter is well-written. For me, the story was somewhat halted by the high number of adjectives used: geotic voice, heavily draped, exotic scents, centered desk I would use them ...

The first few paragraphs had a lot of telling involved and was a bit hard to get through. Other parts were really obvious: “Why do this to me bro!” Marco ...

Hi, I thought that the main character was passive in the first chapter. It would have been interesting to see him attempting to flee and then falling or something (this ...

Hi, I didn't read any of your other chapters. But from the first paragraph, I noticed that you used quite a number of adverbs. Take the first passage for example: ...

I really enjoyed reading the first chapter. Western isn't really my go-to genre but the quality of the writing kept me reading. Especially, the dialogue and the back and forth ...