Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language, violence, and mature content.
Month of Harvest Day 15, Year 855
The City of Theed
The Assassin Council Tower
The Elders of the Order sat in the Inner Sanctum of their tower looking down at a man, one of their own. The man in question, was tall, thin, but not without muscles. His greying black hair that was normally combed back neatly against his head in an almost cynical way, was now a greasy mess. His blue eyes scanned them semi-circular dais as a malevolent grin grew across his face to reach his ears.
His names is Jaeger, and he is the cause of many, if not all, of the crimes in Morina. Once a proud member of the Order, he has been reduced to nothing more than a common prisoner in the eyes of his own brethren. Rags adorn his body, instead of his black cloak and cowl. He stood barefooted against the cool marble hat he had looked down upon so many times before. his weapons had been confiscated and his badge of honor striped. He was, in the eyes of his peers, lesser than dirt.
Ten sets of eyes looked down at him with hate, disappointment, and sadness as they determined his fate. Those in the Order either hated, respected, or adored the man in front of them at one point in their lives. He was a respected and wise member of the Brotherhood and an even better assassin and teacher. He invented new weapons for them, and their students. He had even trained very successful assassins.
One of them was young Hermes Sword-born, the son of the Head Assassin Robin Sword-born, direct descendent of Phoenix. The founder of the Assassin Brotherhood and the discoverer of Theed City.
Jaeger looked at his former friends, teammates, and students. That malicious grin never left his face and seemed to ever grow in a more menacing way. He looked into the eyes of those in front of him. Most of which either glared back at him or turned away in shame. The one face that held the smallest hint of sadness was Hermes Sword-born, the second chair of the order and his old apprentice.
To see that look in his eyes gave Jaeger a sick satisfaction. To know that out of everyone else in the room, he could clearly see the betrayal in Hermes’ eyes. It revealed to him the damage he had caused. And nothing gave him more pleasure than seeing that.
Silence broke across the room as Headmaster Robin rose from his seat. The others followed suit, They had come to their conclusion, finally.
“Jaeger, former third seat of the Order of Assassins. You have been charged with crimes against the realm of Morina and the Brotherhood. By the will of the Council of Light, I hereby strip you of all your titles and sentence you to death, by hanging of the neck.”
The Council stood and scowled at him. The final judgement was cast, and there was no going back. Jaeger glanced towards the doors as the guards came in fully armed. His smile widened once he noticed that they’re using more guards than usual. They were afraid, as they should be. His eyes darted back up to meet the men’s gazes and grinned at them.
“Oh Robin, Robin, Robin. Have I taught you nothing?” The guards advanced on him, but they were too late. The room lit up with an explosion and quickly filled with black smoke blinding everyone in it.
While the smoke cleared slowly the room was bustling with murmurs of shock. Jaeger was gone. He had vanished with the smoke. Robin watched the council members with a steady gaze as he walked by them down to the floor where his once best friend stood. He stared at their shocked and worried expressions. Finally his gaze fell onto his oldest son, barely in his thirties yet he looked like the boy of fifteen just now. Robin’s blue eyes clashed with Hermes’ gray as they shared a silent conversation.
“I’ll sound the alarm,” Hermes said. Robin could only nod as he watched his son hurry out of the room. Robin looked at the remaining council members.
“Gentlemen, mobilize your teams. We need to find Jaeger before he leaves the city!” They nodded They nodded and rushed out of the room. Robin sighed softly and fell heavily into his chair with a sigh burying his head in his hands. “May the Seven keep us well,” he whispered.
Hermes rushed to his chambers to gather his weapons. His wife, Raven stood at their window holding their three week old son in her arms. She looked up at her husband, her unique red eyes wide.
Few female assassins join the Order, and those that are in it, are often unmarried and childless and they keep to their oaths rather than finding love or starting families. Raven was the same that is until she met Hermes. It would be an understatement to say that they fell in love at first sight, and when they fell they both fell hard. They married after two years of courting, and then a year later they had a child. Their son, their pride and joy and the next heir to the brotherhood, Falcon.
“Hermes. What’s going on? I heard the alarms what’s happened?” she asked watching her husband rush around as she rocked Falcon. When he pulled on his cloak and took up his sword, Fang, he looked at his wife. With a breath he pulled her close and pressed his lips to her forehead.
“I can’t tell you, but I need you to stay here and keep our son safe,” he whispered. They looked at each other and she gave him a defeated nod. Hermes smiled and pressed another kiss to his wife’s head and looked at his son. Falcon’s light blue eyes gazed up at him curiously. Hermes smiled down at him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’ll be back,” he said to them both before walking out with his cloak billowing behind him.
Little did the assassin’s know that Jaeger never left the castle? In fact, he was in the dormitories tower. He was going to make good on his promise to Robin. He was going to wipe out the Phoenix’s family line. Starting with Hermes’ wife and son.
The traitor made his way through the dark halls, lit only by torches. He didn’t suspect that many inhabitants were still up here, except maybe a few weaklings, but they couldn’t do anything to the Jaeger even if they tried. Footsteps coming in his direction made Jaeger slip into an unoccupied room.
“Do you know what’s going on?” one of the young apprentices asked. “Is it some sort of drill?” he asked. Jaeger rolled his eyes, stupid novices.
“No, I don’t think so, they wouldn’t be sounding the alarms if it was a drill. Would they?” the other questioned.
“I have no clue,” the first one said conflicted, “but we better report to Hermes just in case it isn’t.”
The footsteps faded out and Jaeger peeked out into the corridor. He stepped out after determining the coast was clear and soundlessly made his way to the very last room. The moonlight broke through the stain glass, he unsheathed a long crooked dagger from his belt. The moonlight gleamed dangerously against the silver.
He opened the door slowly and stepped in, his blue eyes curiously scanning the large room. He quickly approached the cradle slowly staring down at the now peacefully sleeping infant. He silently stared down at this little child, not even a month old. He looked so much like his mother, so much so you would never guess that it was Hermes’ child.
Raising the dagger above the sleeping infant, Jaeger motioned to bring it down into the infant's chest. Before he could his wrist was caught and the dagger went skidding to the floor. A grin made its way to his face and his eyes closed.
“You’re good,” he said turning to Raven. “I can see why Hermes married you, Lady Raven.” The black haired woman glared harshly with her eerie red eyes and put a sword to his throat.
“You’re insane if you think I’m going to let you even try to hurt my child, or that I would let you leave here alive,” she hissed. Jaeger could only chuckle at that, he slowly turned and gazed at the woman before him.
“And you’re insane if you think you’re the one that’s going to be walking away Raven,” he said. She could not retort Jaeger rolled under her blade and picked up his dagger. He swiped it up to stab her leg only just grazing it. Raven brought her blade down to cut his arm, but with a quick flick of his wrist Jaeger dodged it, just barely. Raven’s blade lashed out and sliced Jaeger across his left eye.
The traitorous man made a roar that sounded like a wounded lion while falling back against the ground. Raven approached him tentatively. Her red eyes flashing dangerously at the man in front of her. Jaeger’s hands were protectively clutching his face at the fresh bloody wound. Blinded by blood he groped around blindly for his own blade crawling on his hands and knees like a chimera.
Raven watched on, her heart feeling only a small amount of pity. She watched the man who mentored her husband and introduced them crawl around like a wounded animal. However like every wounded animal, it must be put out of its misery. She lifted her blade with both hands on the hilt preparing to drive it into the base of his skull.
The snap of a string sent an arrow shooting across the room forcing Raven to the floor with a grunt. Raven laid on the floor, her hands immediately reaching for the arrow in her neck. Blood was quickly pooling around her as she gasped for breath. A shrouded figure stood in the window a cross bow in hand. The figure jumped into the room and picked Jaeger up by the arm and threw him over their shoulder. Jumping out the window from which the figure came, they disappeared into the night. The assassins were none the wiser.
In the courtyard, Hermes stood as the novices reported in. The chaos was slowly dying down now that the people had orders were roused and in their positions or were skulking around the
area.
“Sir, we’ve scouted the village. No signs of Jaeger,” a young man said. He was a little older than
most of the novices. He was about ready to be assigned to a team.
“Thank you Polaris, remain on high alert in the watchtowers. Look out for any signs of unusual activity. You’re in charge of the North tower,” he said. Polaris nodded putting his hand over his heart and bowing his head before he seemingly disappeared into the night.
“Hermes!” the older man turned and looked at his brother, Cardinal, who came running up. The man looked pale, and his hands were covered in blood. Funny there hadn’t been any report of wounded. “Hermes, you must come quickly…it’s Raven.” His blood immediately ran cold.
Not needing to be told twice, Hermes raced towards the infirmary, with an undeniable fear for the one he loved most and the speed only that assassins knew. Charging into the sterile smelling infirmary he looked around eyes wild until he found what he was looking for. One lone figure at the end of the rows of beds laid there. Next to it, was his father with a solemn look on his face.
Hermes approached the bed slowly, he could feel the bile rising up in his throat as he smelt blood, a lot of blood. Too much blood. He looked at the prone figure on the bed and a dry sob left his lips, his heart shattering.
His beloved wife, Raven, laid there in the once white sheets now stained with her crimson blood. He reached out and touched her cheek with calloused fingers. Stone cold. Pale. Dead. No longer had the warm peach colored skin that he could caress at night.
A sorrowful scream left his throat as he fell to his knees next to the bed gripping the sheets. No tears left his eyes, but he could feel that almost unfamiliar sting behind his eyelids. Dry heaves left his lungs as he tried to keep whatever dignity he had left.
Robin looked on sadly. He reached out to his son and placed a hand on his shoulder trying to give him some comfort. He wasn’t a man of words, rather of action. Most assassins were, but this was the time where he wished he could find some words other than ‘I’m sorry,’ to say to his son. Nothing came to mind.
Cardinal entered the room slowly, holding onto the crying Falcon. He knew this probably wasn’t the time to bring in the child, but if it could console his grieving brother he would give it a try. Anything to show his brother that there’s still a light of hope for the world.
Hearing his son’s cry, Hermes bolted up and turned around with red rimmed eyes. His brother stood there holding onto his crying child. Holding out his arms he was gently handed the baby. He began to do what Raven would do and rocked him gently. At least his boy was safe. He looked down at his wife one last time. He pressed his lips to her cold ones in a brief kiss and turned away.
Robin pulled the sheet over Raven’s face and hung his head in a silent prayer. Cardinal watched his brother walk to the far side of the room with Falcon and sat on the bed. The baby still cried, albeit not as loud as his father rocked him gently in his arms.
“Hush now little one, it’s alright,” he heard Hermes say. The child calmed down slowly until all that was left was a few hiccups. “There now,” he said and smiled sadly at his son. “I have something for you,” he said and pulled off a silver chain from around his neck. A charm that held a silver Falcon at the end. “This is what we named you after, my Falcon. I was going to give you this when you were ready, but I see no other better time since you won’t be around for much longer.”
At this Cardinal’s eyes furrowed and he looked at their father. Robin looked at his youngest and shook his head. He knew that his oldest was grieving but he didn’t seriously think about giving up his little boy…did he?
“I’m taking him to the Empire, tonight,” Hermes said. “He needs to get away from here where Jaeger can never find him. Let him grow up not knowing about me, his mother, the brotherhood. None of this,” he said. “The only thing he’ll have is this falcon around his neck.” He looked up at his father and brother. “There is nothing that you two can say that will stop me,” he said.
Cardinal could only look away to the ground as he tried to think about what Raven would’ve wanted. She was dead and she could not speak for herself. Hermes was the father and he knew what was best for his child. He didn’t question it, though he didn’t like it.
Robin was just as conflicted looking at his son. To take him to the Empire he was making the sacrifice that he would probably never see his son again. He came to realize, that Hermes probably expected this, both he and Raven had talked about this. He knows what he’s doing.
“You’re going to send him to Robert,” Robin said. It wasn’t a question, it was a fact. He knew that was exactly what Hermes was doing. His eldest just nodded quietly and looked at his son.
“He’s better off growing up away from all of this,” he said and stood up. “I’ll leave now, it’s only a night's ride to Medina, I’ll be back tomorrow night,” he said. He left the room without pausing to look at his family. They knew deep down, this was for the best to preserve the family line.
Not too far away, hidden in the mountains stood a tall black stone tower. It was once the western watchtower for Black Thorn Castle, but since the Great War it was nothing more than rubble. Only the watchtower remained and the rest was lost in time forgotten by many. Jaeger, however found use for it as a temporary fortress for himself and the few of his men that stood loyally by his side.
The solid oak door creaked open slowly as the winter air from the mountain blew in blowing out the candles and making the fire in the hearth dance and crackle. A figure carrying another walked into the tower and the doors closed. The two men that were near the doors quickly got blankets and put them on a hay mattress near the hearth. The figure grunted as they laid Jaeger down on the mattress.
The bloodied wound on his face that was done by that Sword-Born whore had started to heal and scab over. A wound like that though would never completely heal, it would leave a nasty scar that would be with Jaeger for the rest of his life.
“You!” the figure hissed. “Go make yourself useful and get some water and rags!” the servant in question stood there shaking before he nodded and scurried away. With a snort the cloaked being slid off the cowl that covered their face revealing a woman with stark white skin, small narrow yellow eyes that seemed to glow in the fire light. And long pointed ears that could just barely be seen beneath silver hair. A scar ran along her lip from a battle that seemed to be a lifetime ago. She was tall and thin, narrow cheekbones leading to a sharp jaw. Such was the typical appearance of a Fare-Wood Elf.
Her name is Pandora. The last of her kind and Jaegers’ beloved wife. Just as evil as he, some say even worse. Others say she’s a slave to him. No one but they know the truth, and they made sure to keep it that way.
The servant came running in holding a large basin of warm water and an armful of rags. He stopped next to the elf and set down the basin and rags and bowed to her before scurrying back to his partner hiding behind him, whole body shaking. Pandora took a rag soaking it in the warm water and quickly wrung it out. She put it to the wound and gently as she could muster started to clean her husband’s wounds. She was vaguely aware of the servants still hovering.
“Leave!” she snapped sending the two men running away into another part of the tower to find a place to hide from their mistress’s wrath. Pandora growled lowly and turned back to her husband’s wound dabbing at it. She had gotten most of the blood off of him when he had started to stir. Both eyes opened, one his normal dark blue, the other a creamy white. Pandora came to the sickening realization that her husband was blind in that eye, and would be for the rest of his life.
Jaeger’s good eye scanned the room trying to gain his bearings running through the moments before his black out in his mind. The trial, the tower, the child, Raven, a searing pain in his eye then nothing. His eyes closed and opened again his eye looking next to him at the all too familiar eyes of his wife.
“Pandora,” he rasped, voice raw. He coughed hard and try to sit up. Pandora helped her husband and handed him her canteen letting him take sips from it. When his thirst had been sated he looked at her again. “What happened?” he asked.
“You were badly wounded my love, that Sword-Born bitch...she sliced your face and blinded
You in your left eye.” A look of shock and disbelief flashed across his face. So that woman did get the best of him, even more so she blinded him. “Do not despair my love,” Pandora continued.
“I have successfully taken care of her, she will not be bothering anyone ever again.”
Jaeger looked at her for a moment longer a feeling bubbling up in his chest. First it was just a rumbled in his throat. Then his body started to shake, and his eyes closed his hands clenching the blankets. A soft snort broke through along with a throaty chuckle.
Pandora slowly backed away from her husband’s form as another laugh broke out then another until his laughter filled the room. Then the tower, until at last it filled the very rocks of the Themed Mountains. It echoed out further and further until it became nothing but a wisp of wind.
It was almost dawn by the time Hermes arrived at the Empire’s capital city of Medina. He had been here on several occasions through his life. Once as a young man with his father, before the Great War. Medina was just a small city, nothing like the thriving prosperous place it is now.
Then again as a younger man, just beginning his journey as an assassin. He, along with his brother Cardinal, and former mentor Jaeger, were called to arms to fight alongside Medina when the Fare-Wood Elves attacked trying to regain the land that was taken from them during the ancient times. That was the start of the Great War that lasted for ten years. Only one female from the elves had survived, she alone had been taken by the assassins to be trained, she later married Jaeger.
The last time that he had visited it was on a whim from the King Robert Medina VI. During the war, the young King and the assassin had become great allies and close friends so he didn’t find it odd when Robert had asked him to come for a visit. It wasn’t until he got there that Hermes found that Robert wanted him to be the best man at his wedding. An honor which Hermes would’ve declined had he not been tricked, so without any alternative he accepted.
Those were happier times. Lighter times. Now, on his way to Medina again to do the hardest thing he thinks he’ll ever have to do. However, he knows that he couldn’t trust anyone else as much as he trusts Rob and he wife Nymia.
Seeing how late it was, it came as no surprise to Hermes when the gates were closed and there were four guards at the front. He halted his horse as he approached them. One of the men approached him looking up at him curiously. Thank the Seven it was Nybra, Queen Nymia’s younger twin brother. He was a fairly large man in his early thirties, though he didn’t look it. He had midnight black hair and copper skin, and deep brown eyes. He was about seven feet tall and two hundred something pounds...all muscle. Intimidating? Hell yes, but there was a gentle soul underneath it all.
“What business have you here stranger?” Nybra asked his gruff voice heavily accented from his homeland, Maude the land of the desert. Hermes looked at him casually those blue eyes locking with brown. Realization seemed to strike the Queen’s brother and a small frown came to his lips. “Hermes...what are you doing here nit‘ka?” he asked slipping into his native tongue.
Hermes just sighed and looked down at the sleeping child in his arms. Nybra looked at him and moved the blanket out of the way to look at his face. A smile slipped from his lips, but disappeared as soon as it came.
“I need to see Robert and your sister, Nybra. It’s a matter of life and death,” Hermes said quietly so that the others couldn’t hear him. He was trying to draw as little attention as possible. The Mabudan looked at him then at his men and signaled to open the gate. “Thank you,” Hermes said.
“Don’t mention it Hermes, think of it as repayment for smuggling my sister and I across the border. If it wasn’t for you, we don’t know where we would be.” Hermes gave a small smile at his friend clasping the bigger man’s shoulder and brought his horse to a cant through the gates.
The city was quiet this time of night. Only a few homes or taverns were lit up. The streets were silent save for a few guards on patrol, but they didn’t give Hermes any trouble. Finally approaching the palace, Hermes dismounted holding his son close to his chest and climbed the white stone steps. The guards at the door looked at him putting their hands on the hilts of their blades. They knew an assassin when they saw one.
“What business do you have here assassin?” one of the men asked. He was young by the sound of him, probably just out of school, a whelp is what the knights and more seasoned soldiers called them. Hermes looked at him from his cowl and frowned.
“My name is Hermes Sword-Born,” he said coolly. The younger man didn’t do anything only simply looked at him curiously, his partner on the other hand stood at attention. Many soldiers, young and old knew Hermes by name and reputation, and many respected it. This whelp probably had no clue. “I’m here to see the king on a very important matter,” he said.
The whelp eyed him suspiciously and scoffed. “Do you know what time it is? No come back another time assassin,” he said turning away. His partner gave a wince and a whimper at his partner. Hermes’ eyes flashed dangerously and he took out a blade putting it to the back of the boy’s neck.
“Open the door...now,” he hissed. The boy whimpered and looked at his companion who was working on opening the door. “Thank you,” Hermes said simply and entered the main throne room. The two just nodded and closed the door with sighs of relief.
The hall wasn’t elaborate in anyway. At least not while there wasn’t a celebration going on, it was a simple room. Large, with polished stone floor, a red and purple rug that went from the door to the throne. Lit torches lined the walls leading to two different halls that lead to the main part of the castle. And four large chandeliers were lined on the ceiling but it looks like all of them had been put out a while ago.
Falcon whined lowly as he was woken from his slumber. Hermes looked down and rocked him gently pressing him closer into him. He looked around for the right hall, it had been a long time since he had to actually navigate the castle, and normally he’d just hop through the windows.
“I thought I heard you come in,” Hermes jumped and spun around. He was relieved to see it was only Queen Nymia. “My husband is away on business to check on his brother in the East, and isn’t expected to return for another few days,” she said approaching her longtime friend.
The Queen was usually garbed in finer clothing, beautiful gowns that she herself usually made out of her happiness of sewing, and fine jewels that her husband spoils her with. However at the moment she was only garbed in a light white night gown and covered by a white silk robe.
Like her brother, she had copper skin that was foreign to the continent of Morina. Deep brown eyes that bore into your very soul, and long black hair that reached the very small of her back when it was braided. Upon closer observation Hermes was happy to see that she was with child, near the end. He smiled at her and bowed his head approaching the queen.
“Nym...” he started sadly and uncovered the fussy child. The queen gasped softly and looked at the boy in his arms. She looked at Hermes with the unspoken question, a question that was answered with a nod. Nymia smiled and took the child into her arms rocking him gently. Hermes watched with interest and he could tell that his assumption from the beginning was right. Falcon would be happy here.
“He’s quite beautiful, takes after Raven does him not?” she asked looking at him. Hermes nodded and smiled at her sadly going to the throne and sat on the steps leading to it. Nymia frowned and followed standing before him. “What’s happened nit’ka?” Hermes looked at her for a moment feeling tears burn his eyes again. He looked away and took a few breaths.
“Raven’s dead...killed by a traitor.” Nymia’s face paled considerably. “I had to bring Falcon here...it was the only place I knew he would be safe, until the right time comes,” he said looking up at the Queen. “Nymia, I don’t know if Robert told you this, but we had an agreement during the war. Should we ever have children and Gods forbid anything happened to us, the child would be sent to the other for protection.”
“I have heard of this agreement, he told me the day we found out that I was with child.” A pause came between them as she rocked the child soothingly. Falcon was never one for strangers, so it surprised him when he didn’t start wailing at the very touch of another person holding him. Nymia looked up with a sad smile upon her face. “We will honor the agreement Hermes, your son will live under our roof,” she said happily.
A small smile broke across Hermes’ face as he stood up again. Standing in front of Nymia he looked down at his son and pressed a kiss to his forehead tenderly. “Good bye my son, may the seven reunite us once again,” he whispered. Pulling back from his son he looked at the queen.
“He is to never know about me, his mother, or the brotherhood. As far as we’re all concerned we never existed.”
A simple nod was all the response she gave. Hermes nodded back looking at his son. He stroked his soft cheek with his finger before he turned and left. This was for the best, he tried to comfort himself. Falcon will be safe, he’ll have a good life, a good family. Hope.
Tears slid down his cheeks as he walked to his horse to head home. This time he would be alone.
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I think this a well written, stylistically. There are very few if any grammatical errors, and your style of writing commends itself with just the right amount of emotion for a very compelling piece. My fault is that it just isn’t very organized – the concept is interesting, and Jaeger is a very intriguing character. But you don’t bring in your plot points neatly so that the reader can follow it. Describe the world first, so the reader knows what you’re trying to explain.
Here, I’m left wondering what this order is. Being a Fantasy story, you should try to explain the world in greater detail before adding minor details about the characters.
So he’s a controversial figure – but why would the Brotherhood hate them?
Who is that? Why doesn’t the reader get a proper introduction of your characters? Is that what this Phoenix about?
Why is this a question?
Again, I think this is an interesting concept, but the weakness is in organization. You introduce a ton of characters and so they don’t all get time to develop adequately. This is a prologue of course, so it’s not a huge problem as of yet, but I hope you’ll flesh out the characters you introduce in the coming parts. Jaeger wants to wipe out the Phoenix family – but why? Who is the Phoenix family? Who is he? Why were they executing him? Answer these questions and develop your characters, those are the two things you need to do.
Hi,
The start really caught my attention but I found it difficult to get through for a couple of reasons.
The descriptions at the start was really long and there was a lot of telling. Instead of telling the reader the crimes and the verdict, I think it's better to weave this into dialogue. The council could question Jaeger's actions despite his respectful position. I think this is relevant and should be included here. I find conversations are more interesting to read. It gives the readers the freedom to form an opinion rather than being told that this character is evil.
There are other parts mentioned that, in my opinion, are not essential to the story - at least not in the prologue. This makes the prologue really long. The part when the story jumps back to Jaeger could be a separate chapter.
I also noticed that whenever a name was mentioned it was told. This was followed by a rather lengthy description of the character. You could also include their introductions into the conversation.
These are just my personal opinions. But you prologue is definitely a good start.