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Re: My Window
Hi! So, this is my first shot at reviewing poetry, so this may not be very good, but I'm going to give it my best shot. Maybe this isn't the ...
Jul 31, 2013 -
Re: The Neon-Silver War (1st-4th Paragraph)
Hi! So I liked this piece, but there are some nitpicks that need to be addressed. First, ""The" I'm sure that just a typo, I do that all the time ...
Jul 30, 2013 -
Re: That Thing Called LOVE.
Hi! I like this, essay, right? Well, whatever it is, I like it! Alright, now I need to nitpick. "As cliche as it may sound how can I love someone ...
Jul 25, 2013 -
Re: Home
Hi! Scribble here! The dialogue in this piece was really good! There are some problems with this piece though. First off, I wasn't sure where this was talking place. Was ...
Jul 24, 2013 -
Re: Titanus (Part 2 of 2)
Hi! Nice work! I'm guessing you got the idea from the Titanic? Anyway, I do have some nitpicking to do. One, you used too wrong. Too is only used as ...
Jul 14, 2013 -
Re: Laughing-Stock
Hi! This is awesome! I love it! But I do have some critiques. First, its too short! You totally had me hooked, and then its done! I do hope you ...
Jun 3, 2013 -
Re: The Eclipse- Chapter One
Hi! I like it! So far, it seams pretty creative! But I do have some minor nitpicks. One thing, in the sentence: "You see, while I wasn't born in Kanas ...
May 2, 2013 -
Re: Perspective
Hi! This is pretty good! I liked it! But I must nitpick a bit, so here goes. First thing, Riley is a boy? I can honestly say I had no ...
Apr 27, 2013 -
Re: The One
Hi! Welcome to YWS! This is really descriptive, but it is really short. I mean, this hardly qualifies as a short story. I think if you'd put a little more ...
Mar 12, 2013 -
Re: That Boy
That's a really good story! I'm already hooked! Yes! Please continue! If I may offer my personal opintion, I think you should make it a shorter story and have Madalynn ...
Mar 4, 2013 -
Re: Speed Chase
Hey! Nice piece. It was very fast paced without being to fast. But I didn't get the conflict between the police and Vanessa. I think if you added more detail ...
Feb 24, 2013 -
Re: Vipress, Chapter One
Hi! Cool fanfic! but there's one problem; who is this Emily character? All I got was she's Clint's sister. But whats her 'power' (I put power in '' because they ...
Feb 24, 2013 -
Re: Gods of Olympus Chapter 1
Hi! Cool piece! I love Greek Mythology! But it wasn't very accurate. For one thing, gods can't die. So Hera can't try and kill Hestia. Another, the gods never conversed ...
Feb 24, 2013 -
Re: Cyris Orbital, Sec.1
Hi! This is really good! With that said, there were some errors. When you wrote Dante and Kalina was unclear. I didn't quite understand those parts. Maybe you could clear ...
Feb 24, 2013 -
Re: Ripple Effect
Wow, um, okay, this was really really hard to read. It was a huge paragraph. Its really hard to read. I have the same problem, I like to just write ...
Feb 24, 2013
