Sapphire

Hi! Saw your thread in the welcome forum so I'll say welcome back! To the poem! I like it better the more I read it. I'm quite bad at interpreting ...

I'm sorry, but I kind of agree with carelessaussie in that much of what you're saying has already been said. And while it is almost impossible that a person could ...

These were my initial reactions when I began reading this section: Ah, the two timelines are running together now. That’s interesting. Wait, now it’s also changing perspective? Although it’s und

The bluntness of Tom’s narration is brilliant. I liked that he was starting to become fond of Ashley – that was interesting. She was more likeable in this section because ...

Well, you already have plenty of amazing critiques so I've not mentioned some points that stood out if they've already been covered, but probably will have repeated a few. Father ...

Well, I can relate to this! Not the hysteria-over-the-pencil part, but sisters doing what they can to annoy you! My comments are Demeter's. You seem to know yourself the sections ...

I love this. Wow, that was simple! :lol: I think one of the reasons I can't pick at this is because I really relate to it and I don't want ...

Hi sday! I quite liked this. Points to consider: - Would the first semi-colon not be better as a colon? My reasoning for this was that it seems like the ...

Hiya! I've pointed out sections I think need edited, although sometimes I can't offer an alternative. An Underwater Savior At the beginning of time, when all things came alive on ...

The last stanza was what made me like this poem. I was expecting the speaker to be annoyed at someone for ignoring all these topics but discovered she was glad ...

Nice poem! Demeter summed it up well with 'refreshing'. Here were my thoughts on reading: Living Life Release your hold upon the Earth, Letting go the roots that hold you ...

I think the main points have already been covered. To think about: - I'll add to the call for punctuation because it made the poem difficult to read at times. ...

For me, the poem was more literal. It was about a dying baby who'll never grow up. One of the best aspects of poetry is how the same poem can ...

Hey! I'm going to be extra-picky since this is your second draft: With a heavy heart I regret to inform you... - 'heavy heart' is still a little over-used. Your ...

I had read your first draft of this and your revisions have improved it so much. I'll echo Gahks' question about the two different people in the two stanzas - ...