Sam

'Another siren wails through the air peircing it, like a sword peirces flesh; ' Kind of clunky, which is not good, especially in the first two lines. Play with the ...

This is really very good. The only thing I think you need to work on is keeping her thoughts in check with your time period. Get a couple of books ...

As I usually do, I went through the reviews first, trying to see what people've said. I tried to find something wrong with it, but alas, it's très bien. :D ...

PEACHY KEEN...tehee...LIZ LAY OFF THE SUDAFED! Things Sam Liked About This: 1. Unlike Brad, I really liked separating the 'I's. Very spiffy. Although, it did slow down the poem. I'd ...

Emily is awesome, I'll give you that. I love the way you do her voice. She's so innocent, it makes you sad...woah, okay, Sam had better leave now before I ...

This is uber-spiffy. :D 'They have no different sexes they are just one nothing. ' That's a bit clunky. And the word 'sexes' makes people just go 'Woah, okay, I ...

Hmm...I followed all the rules...it's supposed to sound semi-contemporary, 'cause I hate novels that are like schoolbooks. It's annoying. *checks* all slang/profanity's within time range. *shrugs* Oh

I've never read the Simarillion (or however you spell it :P) but I thought it was pretty cool. And I do have to agree, it does sound like the beginning ...

Er...yeah...dunno what those girls were doing in the bathroom but okay. I would critique but since you've already used that, I'll refrain. :D 'Twas awesome. Wish I coulda been there...but ...

Oooh, Fall Out Boy! *claps hands* 'cutting through the darkness with raw passion rip it up' Redundant. Redundancy is okay with some poems...but not when you're talking about raw passion ...

Note: Since in this you have much in common with Mr. Long-Winded Sentence, aka Thomas Jefferson, I've decided to read it as such...:P 'They cry for food, we can give ...

'Why don't we break it on down, and watch the atoms happily smash in razzles of chaos, as their walls crumble and their nuclei fuse, we could sip tea from ...

'It punctured his heart causing me to feel nauseous and faint.' You wouldn't be able to see his heart, so therefore you would not know. 'Do you know how hard ...

'Decrepit shelves, rickety staircases.. all the elements of a haunted place, in the old stories. All that could be called missing was secret chambers, hidden doors, ghosts and spooks, and ...

"I shouted over the sound of another depth charge. " Depth charge...now, unless I'm just being an idiot, what's that? If most people don't know what it means, include a ...