Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: So this was a pretty interesting piece to read. It was certainly something that I have never encountered before so points for a very new idea. And its also pretty interesting. I definitely really like the premise behind all of this. And the story itself while sounding like a fairy tale did flow quite nicely and was definitely a nice thing to read.
Anyway let's get right to it,
This story starts in a time of no time and a place of nowhere, where the whole race of people are blobs of nothing and you can tell them to do whatever you want, they were cups on their hands for protection and always smile.
Okayy....not the clearest of starts there saying "no time" and "no where". I don't really see what this is trying to say because saying there is nothing kind of defeats the point of something being there because if there was a blob there has to be something there not nothing at all. And I think even I don't what that sentence means.
Their is also a great one who's name they do not speak, he is not a thoughtless blob but Alive like people in our world and time. He can transmit this Life to anyone he chooses, so he did.
Okay now its starting to sound like some kind of fairy tale of sorts. I'm not sure what sort of fairy tale but it definitely is giving me serious fairy tale vibes.
He gave 10 Grays Life and made them the rulers of this timeless nowhere, these are Highers: Higher Bishop, Higher Keen, Higher Yan, Higher Jerome, Higher Seth, Higher Stone, Higher
Diction, Higher Weet, Higher Den and Higher Cath.
I think you accidentally pressed enter at the wrong place there. This does also seem like a really long list that is just a straight up list of dudes the flow is feeling very clunky at this point.
But they weren't cruel, they made sure the Grays had some kind of shelter and some kind of food, the food they called Screep, its basicly whatever the Highers don't want, vacuum packed and artificially colored and flavored.
Yep this is definitely like a science fictionalized retelling of a fairy tale about a world being created or something like that.
(I have alot more written but wanted to know what you guys thought of it before I posted it, this is also my worst part, I would like some help!)
Well I would have read that. Although I suppose you never did actually publish more or maybe you did and I will one day run into it. Oh well I suppose I will eventually be able to see what this is about.
Aaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall this was one of the first few things that I have read today that is not depressing and that is a big plus for this story. The ending was wonderfully cliffhangery and I would love to run into more someday. And the overall flow was smooth, and I could understand what was happening fairly well. So overall a fun little piece to read.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Points: 253363
Reviews: 4096
Donate