Rydia

I do wish it was a little longer but I like your abrupt tone and the surprise ending. I was expecting an alternative ending but not like that! Well written ...

It was very good for an early poem. Like the others said, add in a little more detail and description and this could be even better.

Lose the red text, fix your grammar, set it out like a set of lyrics and then you're half way there. Also, you need verses and a chorus.

I agree that it's rather simple and not the most original but as far as love songs go, it's nice. Work on the rhythm a little perhaps but in general ...

Poetic prose is basically a piece of writing that is in the form of prose (a story) but uses poetic language.

I loved these books! It's been a few years since I've read them but I'd recommend them to anyone. Garth Nix is an imaginative, brilliant writer.

No problem, I'm glad to be able to help.

It's not very original but if you look beyond that, you have a good idea and a nice collection of words.

Very imaginative and well written. Your choice of language and the use of brackets are both original and refreshing. Well done with this one Whence and I do hope you'll ...

Thanks for the comments and yes, it is childish, but there's a reason for that - I wrote it three years ago. I was just sifting through my old English ...

I absolutely adore the Degeneration X stanza now. Admittedly it's still nt perfect but no piece of poetry ever is or a least not so that everyone in the world ...

Yeah, I'm afraid that's my fault. Well technically Ofour's on the other hand. You see, he got a place in my competition so I critiqued a few of his dramatic ...

Oh yes. I watch them online these days and I've watched all of dragonball and 209 of the dragonball z series. After that I plan to move onto the movies ...

What? How can you say that? I love her books. What about the pact? Salem falls? Vanishing Acts? They're all among my favourites! You're right, it's illegal to hate her ...

Yeah this is much better but Denouement has a good point - there are other characters to explore. That's up to you though and like I say, it's better now.