Rydia

Your lyrics fit the song perfectly and that's a cool video. I should show my friend this, it's her sort of music...

Very good. The rhythm is perfect and It's so easy to imagine it being sung. Good job.

fusion - Thanks very much for the suggestions. I shall drag Claire down here later today so that we can make some changes. Jasmine - Hi there, thanks for the ...

Cool. Now you just have to fit all of that into the script without info dumping ;)

Ah. That makes more sense. I'd not heard of the Hostess pastry company so I suppose that's why I didn't understand it but I did get the second meaning. Thanks ...

Hmmm. They don't seem to have much trouble finding the orbs and I take it these are valuable items? How do they locate them so easily and if they are ...

Some good conflict in this section and I like the fight between ULTRA and INFRA. Just one suggestion - He hasn't yet realised that another group of angels, consisting of ...

Lol. Stage directions are basically where the script writor tells the actors how to move, where to stand, what to wear and such. Basically, it's where you've described the action; ...

I think that you're allowed explicit content as long as it is rated accordingly and a warning at the top of the piece wouldn't hurt as an extra precaution.

'I don't want to hear it' rather than 'I don't want to here it' but this is really old so... yeah. It's great though. I love the two characters. They're ...

This was really cool. I haven't been in the chat room too often but this seems to fit. Claudette and Mattster certainly have the best lines. Basically, great job!

Oh, I didn't mean the all should be in lower case. I meant that you need an 'a' in there that you missed out. Sorry about that, guess I should ...

Lol. Yeah, very fun and catchy. Not a serious poem so I wont critique it as such. I loved all your witty little puns and this has a good tone ...

This is a little easier to understand than before and it is an improvement so you should be congratulated on that at least. Perhaps next time you change something, leave ...

Ah. I believe I was pronouncing Lira's name wrong. I shall make a mental note...