Well, as the title says, this is a possible script for a comic I've been too lazy to get drawing. It's an action comic about demons and stuff.
One thing before we begin. Names in lowercase (but beginning with a capital) are minor characters whose names are irrelevant, and any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Same goes for major characters (as well as semi-major recurring characters), except their names will be in all caps.
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The middle of a desert, empty other than a few boulders here and there and a massive expanse of sand. Two robed figures have been trudging through the dirt for at least a few hours. On closer inspection, the figures are in fact a pair of angels whom, to avoid confusion, we shall call Gregory and Elizabeth.
Gregory: It's around here somewhere... I'm sure of it.
Elizabeth: I can feel something, and whatever it is has the most powerful magical aura I've ever felt.
The duo begin to scrabble around in the sand beneath their feet. After a few minutes, Elizabeth cries out in excitement and holds something up in the air. As Gregory inspects it in awe, we get a closer look: it appears to be a slightly indigo crystal orb, but there is something sparking in the middle of it.
Before the angels can celebrate too much, arrows begin to hit the ground around their feet. The arrowheads are a crimson colour and seem to be smoking slightly. The angels look up to see the source of the arrows, a troupe of three demons: Wilbur, Maddison, and the leader Adrian.
Adrian: So you've found it. Our Master needs that orb... so please, do yourselves a favour and give it to us willingly. We don't want to have to hurt you.
Maddison: What? Of course we do!
Adrian: ... Yeah, you're right.
The demons charge at Gregory and Elizabeth. What follows is a fight between the two groups, and it's no contest: the angels thrash the demons, who are all vaporised.
Elizabeth: More will show themselves. We should leave now.
INFRA (off-panel): Hold on a minute...
The angels turn back to where the demons appeared from. A small figure (INFRA) can be seen, but it is engulfed in shadow. Only its eyes pierce the darkness, one white, one red.
Gregory: Who's there?
INFRA: My name doesn't matter. But I need the orb for my Master too.
Elizabeth (to Gregory): He's a demon...his aura gives him away.
Gregory: Yes, I felt it too. (to INFRA) Demon! If you really want this orb, then come and take it!
INFRA: ... All right.
INFRA charges towards the angels. Gregory draws his sword and prepares to behead INFRA, but as he slashes INFRA drops and rolls along the ground, before leaping to his feet and hurling a pair of fireballs into Gregory's back. Gregory shouts in pain as he sizzles into vapour. Meanwhile, Elizabeth has an arrow in her bow and a finger on the string.
Elizabeth: It... controls fire?
INFRA takes advantage of her shock to turn to her and begin sending fireballs in her direction. Elizabeth manages to dodge the barrage and fires her own arrows back. INFRA, continually advancing on Elizabeth, either dodges or deflects her projectiles. Finally, he catches one, lights it on fire, appears right in front of Elizabeth and plants the arrow in her belly. Elizabeth shrieks as she burns for a second before becoming vapour as well. INFRA walks over to where Elizabeth dropped the orb, picks it up and "absorbs" it into his skin. He then stares at the ground for a few seconds, causing a large hole to appear, the middle of which seems to be a swirl of red and black. INFRA jumps straight in.
A chamber whose walls, floor and ceiling are of red rock... it could be mistaken for a cave inside a volcano. It is lit by small fires that sit in various corners of the room. A tunnel leads out of the room, and opposite the tunnel is what appears to be a large hole, the inside of which is pitch-black. INFRA enters the chamber; in the light we can see his body is entirely red and white, with a zigzag running down his middle, and that he has no visible nose, mouth or digits. He steps up to the hole.
INFRA: Master LUKE, I have returned successful.
INFRA "pulls" the orb from his body and holds it up to the hole. A pair of horrible glowing eyes appear within the hole (those of LUKE). The pupils and irises are black, with pure red scieras (you know, that bit of the eye that's usually white).
LUKE: Perfect, INFRA.
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That's all for now. Don't worry (as if you were), this isn't all of it, obviously. I'll keep adding to it as I go. Enjoy!
-Mattster
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
*drumroll*
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We return to INFRA, ULTRA, LUCIFER and ABHOR. ABHOR is a safe distance away as the others duke it out. INFRA and ULTRA, with orb-enhanced speed and strength, get in a good number of hits on LUCIFER's torso. Finally LUCIFER begins to strike back, attacking ULTRA. ULTRA quickly shields himself, and lets LUCIFER pound away at the shield for a few seconds before leaping to the side. Confused, LUCIFER turns around to see INFRA, engulfed in flame, charging at him, and barely has time to brace himself before he is tackled to the ground. INFRA and ULTRA bat him from side to side for a bit, during which we can see his hands glowing, and eventually...
LUCIFER (enraged): ENOUGH!!
... he sends them both flying with a burst of darkness from each hand.
LUCIFER: Spit up those orbs now, and perhaps I will make your deaths less painful.
The only response he gets is a barrage of attacks; waterbombs from the right and fireballs from the left. Before he can recover, ULTRA gets in a good hard smash to the side of the head, dizzying LUCIFER. INFRA takes advantage of this by kicking a vehicle into LUCIFER and knocking him down. The duo then approach the limp form of LUCIFER.
ULTRA: Hah! We flattened him!
INFRA: Perfect.
Their celebration is short-lived as each is grabbed by the neck. LUCIFER stands up, one opponent in each hand. Unable to maintain control, INFRA and ULTRA struggle for air as their orbs drop out through their skin.
LUCIFER: That's better.
He tosses them down in front of him and kicks the orbs away. ABHOR approaches nervously.
ABHOR: Master LUCIFER, don't you think... shouldn't you absorb those yourself?
LUCIFER backhands ABHOR, who drops to the ground in pain.
LUCIFER: Fool! Does it look like I need them? Those two had one each and I thrashed them.
ABHOR (in pain): Of - course, sir...
LUCIFER raises both hands towards INFRA and ULTRA. As he prepares his attack, something stirs behind him. Next thing we see is ABHOR being shot by a burst of green energy and flying past LUCIFER. LUCIFER turns, distracted, and is hit in the face by the flying TEMPO. As he reels in pain, TEMPO knees him in the stomach and sends him skidding down the street with a following punch. As he skids, then rolls, TEMPO fires several rockets at him. INFRA and ULTRA have recovered and are rising to their feet when the rockets connect and explode. TEMPO turns to the duo and INFRA raises his hands and prepares to attack.
TEMPO: I wouldn't do that, INFRA-san. I think you two will need my help.
ULTRA: So, you're going to help us now?
TEMPO replies by tackling the two of them out of the way as a blast of dark energy flies over their heads.
INFRA: Well, it's nice of you to finally trust us... but I don't think fighting him is the solution.
ULTRA: Did I just hear you, INFRA, say that we shouldn't be fighting?
INFRA: ULTRA. TEMPO and I will stall LUCIFER, you go up to Heaven and find out how LUCIFER got sealed in the chamber.
LUCIFER fires more blasts of energy and the trio leap and fly out of the way.
INFRA: Go now! We can handle it!
ULTRA: Right, right!
ULTRA flies up into the air and vanishes in a flash of light. INFRA and TEMPO turn to face LUCIFER.
[s]We, however, follow ULTRA once again to Heaven where everybody seems to be blissfully unaware of LUCIFER's escape. ULTRA rushes to the cathedral again and seeks out HAROLD, the third Lord of Heaven. Spotting him entering his large office, ULTRA quickly heads over to him.
ULTRA: Lord HAROLD!
HAROLD: What's that? Oh! ULTRA, old boy, do come in.
As they enter the room, ULTRA begins explaining the situation.
HAROLD: You took our only orb out of the vault to help a demon!?
ULTRA: I needed it, Lord HAROLD! INFRA would have died otherwise!
HAROLD: My word, young fellow! You need to get over this attachment to this demon you call "brother"!
ULTRA: He is my brother, and that's not the point! LUCIFER's free in the city!
HAROLD freezes.
HAROLD: ULTRA... you're serious about this?
ULTRA: Yes, and I'm sorry! But I need to know how he became trapped in the first place! It says in St Peter's book that you sealed him in the chamber ages ago!
HAROLD: No, ULTRA, it says the Lord of Heaven did. It was my predecessor, Edward, and I have neither the knowledge nor the ability to repeat it. Now please, boy, I must inform Heaven of our situation.
ULTRA leaves, frustrated, and heads back towards the entrance of Heaven.[/s]
We, however, follow ULTRA back to Heaven. All the angels are still chatting or going about their business, evidently unaware that LUCIFER is wreaking havoc in the mortal plane. This time, instead of heading for the cathedral, ULTRA turns right and flies into a fairly large building. Inside, he is surrounded by shelves lined with all kinds of books; this is obviously a library. ULTRA runs off to a section in the far back, entitled "History", and pulls down a large book. We briefly see the title, "St Peter's History of the World" before ULTRA drops the heavy book onto the table and begins flipping through it.
ULTRA: Would've been nice to know when he got imprisoned before looking... but I'll have to wing it from here... wait, here it is. (reads) "His patience with the Demon Lord having run out a long time ago, Lord Edward forced LUCIFER back to his underworld and, with a powerful enchantment, sealed him there, preventing him from entering either Heaven or the mortal plane." But... what was the enchantment?
ULTRA flips through a few more pages.
ULTRA: And there's no more information! We don't have any magical knowledge!
ZEST: Yeah, a lot stuff in that book has to be omitted. Just for security reasons.
ULTRA jumps, and looks around. No one can be seen.
ZEST: Oh, sorry. I keep forgetting... let me just find... ah, that'll do.
The end of ULTRA's staff, which is a large spherical bulb not dissimilar to one of the orbs (but with the "yin-yang" pattern on it), flashes
for a second, and ULTRA is shocked to see that a face has appeared on the bulb.
ZEST: Right. So uh, I'm Zest, by the way. And, as I was saying, that section of the book's not for personal viewing.
ULTRA: Th-thanks, uh, Zest... but I need to know what happened there. See, Lucifer's esc -
ZEST: I know, I know what's going on. He's back and you want to seal him away again.
ULTRA: ... uh, yeah. How'd you know that?
ZEST: I know a lot of things, ULTRA. See that? I know your name, and your brother INFRA's name, and I know how you can succeed in your mission. See, Edward sealed LUCIFER away into a new chamber, that's how his enchantment worked. But in your case, there's already a chamber to put him in.
ULTRA: But... that one's seal is broken. That's how LU-
ZEST: Turn the book to the last page.
ULTRA: Huh?
ZEST: The last page.
ULTRA hesitantly does so, and notices at the bottom that more text is adding itself. Skimming up the page, a sentence catches his eye.
ULTRA (reading): "INFRA and ULTRA pursued ABHOR to the location of the chamber's entrance, and could only watch as he used the six orbs to open the sealed portal, and as the Demon King stepped out the chamber sealed itself again." So wait...
ZEST: Mmm?
ULTRA: It's not broken, it's just sealed up again... and we can use the orbs to reopen it! The problem now is forcing LUCIFER back inside...
ZEST: Ah well, that's for you to figure out. I've got other messages to deliver.
ULTRA: One last thing, Zest... How come you're helping us? And why are you invisible?
ZEST: Well, I'm helping you because you're a good guy and I don't want LUCIFER to wreak chaos on the world. As for my invisibility... well, it's really more intangibility... I'll tell you later, ok? You've got work to do!
With that, ZEST vanishes and ULTRA turns and rushes out of the library.
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Major edit. The whole argument with Harold didn't fit into future events, and I had originally planned to add Zest before now.
Also, did I mention earlier that Ultra has a staff? All the main characters' appearances are in my head but I should be describing them better for people who read this.
This was sweet. It certainly gives some good background on Gladman and it's nice to know that TEMPO is going to fight on the right side. Good work as always =)
We apologise to our viewers. The fight of the century will be delayed.
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From a bird's-eye view, we see New Sydney being ransacked by demonic figures and hordes of the bat-like Wavers. We see TEMPO flying across the sky, GLADMAN in one arm, energy blasts leaving the other, obliterating any Waver that is foolish enough to come too close. Eventually they set down at the outskirts of the city, in the very location of INFRA's first confrontation with ABHOR.
TEMPO: This is as far as I go, Father-chan.
GLADMAN: What do you mean? (incredulously) You're not going back to fight those two again?
TEMPO turns away from GLADMAN.
TEMPO: No, Father-chan. You know my primary function, of course? You were the one who programmed it.
GLADMAN: Well, yes... I never wanted you to have that weaponry, but I had no choice. So, I made it your primary function to protect humans.
TEMPO: You did.
TEMPO turns back to GLADMAN, smiling for the first time.
TEMPO: The large demon LUCIFER poses a threat to humanity, and so my duty remains to eliminate him.
GLADMAN: And what about the others?
TEMPO: ... I will fight alongside them. I think they can be trusted for now.
GLADMAN breathes a sigh of relief.
GLADMAN: TEMPO... I'm proud of you. You remind me so much of Midori...
GLADMAN begins to shake again, and TEMPO walks over to him and places her hands on his shoulders. GLADMAN pulls himself together.
GLADMAN: She'd be proud of you too... you're just like her.
TEMPO smiles again as she wraps her arms around GLADMAN's neck and shoulders.
TEMPO: Wish me luck, Papa-chan.
With that, TEMPO lets go and runs a few feet away before launching herself into the sky. GLADMAN watches her until she is out of sight.
GLADMAN: Good luck, TEMPO.
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Till next time, I guess.
I want a ticket! Give me one! I loved the action in this scene and there's so much conflict. Well done. Your characters are well defined and I can't wait for the next part. Also, congratulations on resisting the urge to kill GLADMAN off.
So... do I feel like killing off Gladman?
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As LUCIFER pulls GLADMAN towards his mouth, TEMPO and ULTRA both rush towards LUCIFER. INFRA hesitates as he turns towards the orbs.
GLADMAN: TEMPO... help me!
TEMPO prepares to fire at LUCIFER, but LUCIFER holds GLADMAN up in front of himself as a shield, and TEMPO lowers her gun. ULTRA tries to attack him from the other side but is swatted away. LUCIFER opens his mouth wide, but is distracted by a glow behind him. INFRA has grabbed the red and violet orbs and is absorbing them into his skin. LUCIFER lowers GLADMAN, a grin spreading across his face.
LUCIFER: Well, doesn't this look fun. (to GLADMAN) You'll have to wait!
With that, LUCIFER tosses GLADMAN aside, stepping forward towards INFRA as TEMPO rushes to GLADMAN.
TEMPO: Father-san! Are you all right?
GLADMAN: Ow... I'm fine, TEMPO... you need to -
GLADMAN stops talking as INFRA lets out a roar and charges at LUCIFER. As he gets closer, he seems to seize up and drops onto his knees, glowing brighter than ever and occasionally flaring up. LUCIFER is startled, but soon calms himself.
LUCIFER: My word, INFRA. Don't tell me you can't handle the power of even two of the ancient orbs? They're not even full, most of their energy was used to unlock my chamber!
LUCIFER kneels down to whisper to INFRA.
LUCIFER: Such a pathetic display. It makes me glad I removed you...
LUCIFER grins in a very ugly way.
LUCIFER: And now... I will punish you for ever trying to oppose me!
LUCIFER prepares to attack INFRA, but stops and backs away slightly as INFRA begins sporadically transforming into flame. Long "tentacles" of flame begin frequently appearing from and vanishing into INFRA's body. INFRA's eyes widen as he struggles to contain the energy, but the tentacles become more frequent and begin flailing, breaking windows and swatting LUCIFER away with great force. LUCIFER climbs to his feet, at first looking outraged but again calming down quickly.
LUCIFER: Let us watch, angel, as your brother destroys himself! In fact, now would be the perfect time for a snack.
LUCIFER turns back to GLADMAN, but a tentacle wraps around LUCIFER and throws him into the side of a building. TEMPO aims her cannon at INFRA again.
GLADMAN: TEMPO, don't! He's not your enemy...
TEMPO: Father, he is weakened and at perfect range!
GLADMAN: He just protected me from the large one...
ULTRA (recovering): TEMPO, take him to safety!
ULTRA runs over towards INFRA. TEMPO watches him run, and sees INFRA look up at her. After a moment, she nods and picks up GLADMAN before flying into the dawn sky. ULTRA, meanwhile, is narrowly missed by a flailing tentacle before he reaches INFRA.
ULTRA: INFRA! Did you think you'd be able to control all the energy alone? Give me your hand!
Slowly and with much effort, INFRA does so. As their hands connect, we see the violet orb leave INFRA and enter ULTRA. Gradually, the thrashing tentacles fade and INFRA and ULTRA are both engulfed in a healthy glow.
ULTRA: This feels good!
INFRA: Exactly what I needed.
The duo turn to LUCIFER.
LUCIFER (recovering): You seem to really believe you can defeat me... Well, I've never yet said no to killing somebody.
The three of them charge at one another.
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Tickets to the fight of the century are available at SupernaturalRumble.com (not a real URL, hehe).
Oh no, poor Gladman! You can't leave it there, I want to know if he gets eaten! I wasn't expecting Tempo to return to be honest so that was a pleasant little surprise and I'm enjoying the conflict between the brothers and the depth of Infra's character. I'd almost forgotten that he killed those engels earlier.
What happens next?
This:
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INFRA and ULTRA continue running.
ULTRA: ... No... That light - They've already done it!
INFRA remains silent. As they reach the site of the bright light an enormous mob of demons rise up from the ground and begin rampaging throughout the city. Only ABHOR remains when INFRA and ULTRA arrive to witness the appearance of what resembles a winged adult human in a toga, but much uglier. LUCIFER is free in the mortal plane.
LUCIFER: ... ABHOR... well done.
INFRA: That voice... I knew it. You're LUKE!
LUCIFER: Well, bravo INFRA.
LUCIFER turns quickly and slams his fist into the ground. The city rumbles as cracks form, making their way towards INFRA and ULTRA, who leap out of the way.
LUCIFER: Actually, I'm glad to see you here, INFRA... with your brother. Incidentally, I assume you've realised why ABHOR was given your place?
INFRA: I know it had nothing to do with my efficiency... and what does ULTRA have to do with it?
ABHOR chuckles.
LUCIFER: Everything. Your first orb acquisition went perfectly. You disposed of the disgusting angels and took what you wanted.
ULTRA: You... killed them?
INFRA: I'm not proud of what I did, ULTRA!
LUCIFER: You failed to destroy your opposition the second time around, INFRA. The bloodlust that seemed your greatest strength... your weakness is that you lack it.
INFRA hurls a large fireball at LUCIFER, but it is easily deflected and flies off into a building.
INFRA: I'm not weak...
LUCIFER laughs, and ABHOR sycophantically joins in.
LUCIFER: I'll spare you for now, INFRA, just to let you see what you've missed out on. The entire planet Earth, under my command, with you at my right hand... that privilege now belongs to ABHOR.
LUCIFER raises an open hand at ULTRA.
LUCIFER: Your brother I have no need for.
LUCIFER's hand begins glowing in preparation for an attack. INFRA sidesteps in front of ULTRA. ABHOR looks on, almost hungrily.
INFRA: You'll have to kill me before you kill him.
LUCIFER doesn't back down, but before he can attack a rocket flies into his path, and the explosion throws all of them off balance. The first to recover is INFRA, who turns to see where the rocket came from. TEMPO stands down the street, with GLADMAN close behind.
INFRA: TEMPO?
TEMPO: Correct. Perhaps you thought me defeated when your friends attacked and stole my power supply? My creator, Professor Gladman, is a genius; it took him only minutes to install another battery.
ULTRA: Please listen to me, TEMPO. We're not the bad guys -
TEMPO: Silence!
GLADMAN: TEMPO, perhaps we should listen to him...
TEMPO frowns at GLADMAN.
TEMPO: He wishes to deceive us, Professor. Do not -
LUCIFER coughs.
LUCIFER: This is all quite interesting... but I'm afraid I must cut it short. See, being locked in a sealed underworld chamber for centuries didn't allow much time for meals...
LUCIFER turns to where GLADMAN is standing.
LUCIFER: ... and mortals always were my favourite.
With a burst of speed, LUCIFER runs to GLADMAN, sending TEMPO flying on his way, and lifts GLADMAN by the neck.
TEMPO (recovering, eyes wide in fear): Father!
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Sorry, folks... another cliffhanger. XP
Ooooh. I like the 'back story' on the orbs and it's certainly more effective than having someone explain it through pure speech. I simply can't wait to see this done as a comic!
That might be true about the fighting, but remember that Tempo was ambushed whereas Infra and Ultra willingly stepped up to fight. Probably in the final product, the fight will end up going for longer and Tempo will have been weakened more.
!!
Anyway, here we have a flashback about the history of the orbs, and Luke's interest in them.
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We see INFRA and ULTRA standing below LUKE's eyes, surrounded by the six orbs.
Narration (like those yellow text boxes in comics): Our heroes have failed to protect the ancient orbs, which are now in the hands of LUKE's forces. But what does LUKE want the orbs for?
In the next frame we see a small room. The walls are lined with shelves that are themselves lined with potion bottles, and there is a table in the middle at which a man is working. In short, it is a typical wizard's potion room and the man is scientific wizard BARCLAY Gladston.
BARCLAY (immersed in his work): And stir... stir once more, perhaps? Yes... Yes!
BARCLAY steps back to admire his work.
BARCLAY: I... have to inform KENNITH of this!
We next see BARCLAY and High Wizard KENNITH at the table.
BARCLAY: See that, High Wizard?
KENNITH: BARCLAY, my lad, this is outstanding work... you've managed to create a potion... that absorbs magical energy?
BARCLAY: I have, sir... but the problem is, it slowly absorbs physical matter as well... I woke up today to find it all over the floor.
KENNITH: Indeed... this is easily remedied.
KENNITH forms a glass orb from the air in his hand.
KENNITH: This container is protected from physical harm... only physical force coupled with magical power could break through it. We shall store your potion in here; magic will still be freely transferable out of and into it.
BARCLAY: Excellent solution, High Wizard.
A montage follows of multiple orbs being created by KENNITH and BARCLAY... and then of their village alight in flames.
Narration: After the witch hunts, it seemed only six orbs remained... thrown into the bonfire, they did not burn, but sucked up energy at an alarming rate and began to glow... the non-magical villagers feared them and attempted to dispose of them...
One by one we see villagers separating the orbs, thinking it will dissipate their power... one sent into the desert... one scaling a mountain... one burying an orb in a grassy patch... one hurling an orb into the ocean... one kicking an orb into a deep forest... and one, leaving an orb in the burned-down wizard village.
Next frame, we see the peninsula separated from the mainland.
Narration: A few years later, a mighty quake ripped through the peninsula. The people feared that it was a supernatural disaster and fled the island on boats, leaving the orbs to lie on the island, slowly gathering more energy until they could hold no more.
Next frame, we see a city under construction on the peninsula.
Narration: Almost a century since the orbs were produced, sceptical settlers moved back to the island and became the founders of New Sydney.
Next we see a demon (Paddy) in the underworld, holding a book. The book's title reads "History of the World - St Peter".
Narration: But what of the demons? Why have they worked so hard to gather six orbs together?
Paddy runs into a chamber and addresses the unseen dweller.
Paddy: My Lord... I believe I have found a way... to free you from your prison.
Unseen: ... Oh yes?
Evidently, the orbs are the solution to allowing a mighty demon access into the mortal plane. Having learned of this, the angels have worked tirelessly against the demons, but all seems to be lost.
We return to INFRA and ULTRA running along the street after ABHOR.
ULTRA: The short and sweet version is, those orbs are the key to breaking the seal on Lucifer's chamber. LUKE must be in charge of the operation.
INFRA: LUKE... Lucifer... You know what? I'm willing to bet they're the same guy.
ULTRA: Either way, our work will count for nothing if their summoning succeeds... Come on, faster, INFRA!
They continue into the early morning, but already the path ahead of them emits an ominous white glow...
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Oh dear. Poor ULTRA and INFRA don't seem to be having much luck. Your action in this section was really good but perhaps the demons defeated TEMPO too easily? Afterall, Infra and Ultra were having difficulties but they were much stronger than the four demons together as shown when Infra took them all out.
Overall, I enjoyed reading it and look forward to the next part.
Le Gasp! What ever is going to happen!? Darn you Matt and your Cliff hangers!
Looks good. I know this is going to be like a graphic novel but I bet you could turn it into an awesome fiction story.
Nice work.
Mmm, that's true. Well, I'll stick with Paint the Town Red for now.
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TEMPO, arm-cannon raised, begins firing at INFRA, who leaps over the barrage towards TEMPO. ULTRA watches in anxiety as INFRA lands immediately in front of TEMPO and fire-punches her belly, sending her flying back. Having given the punch a lot of force, INFRA is surprised to see TEMPO recover quickly, landing on her feet.
INFRA: So, what's your story?
TEMPO: As I have told you, Oni-san. I am TEMPO, creation of Professor Matthew Gladman, sent here to eliminate the threat to humanity.
INFRA: Well, you're making a mistake. I'm not the one who has a problem with the humans. Did you see those guys with that round thing?
TEMPO: I see right through your lies!
TEMPO lunges at INFRA. ULTRA prepares to intervene when he senses the sixth and final orb.
ULTRA (thinking): That's the same orb that was in Gladman Labs... Gladman?
As INFRA and TEMPO spar, ULTRA watches TEMPO strangely.
ULTRA (thinking): ... it's in there. (out loud) Hey! I knew I'd seen her before! She was that android in the lab!
INFRA begins to charge a large flame ball. Noticing this, TEMPO switches to her left arm, flies into the air and fires what seem to be heat-seeking rockets. As INFRA runs for cover, ULTRA fires waterbombs at the rockets, short-circuiting them. Some of ULTRA's waterbombs reach TEMPO, who drops to the ground.
TEMPO (recovering): Angel-san opposes me too, eh? So be it!
TEMPO begins firing energy blasts at ULTRA, who blocks them with his bubble shield. TEMPO's attack is cut short when a demonic hand reaches out of the ground and grabs her leg. As a portal opens, more hands appear and grab TEMPO, until a group of four demons is holding her down. ABHOR appears from a sidestreet and floats in front of TEMPO, who kicks and struggles to attack her capturers. INFRA and ULTRA duck out of sight to watch.
ABHOR: This marks the last one... Hold it still!
ABHOR, mirroring his attack on INFRA, uses his scythe to pry open TEMPO's chest plate, and sitting there on a small pedestal, connected to countless cables and wires, is the green sixth orb. ABHOR reaches out to take it.
TEMPO: Don't you touch that!
ABHOR (striking TEMPO with his scythe): Shut up!
TEMPO: Aagh!
ABHOR grabs the orb. Immediately, he is fried in a huge discharge of electricity, and blown back by the force. Recovering, he shakes the soot off and finds that he is holding the orb; the demons drop TEMPO, who falls lifeless to the ground. INFRA and ULTRA jump out of hiding.
ULTRA: Can you take them, INFRA?
INFRA (eyeing the four demons): Yep.
INFRA charges towards the demons, who prepare to beat him up, while ULTRA flies towards ABHOR, firing waterbombs. INFRA trips up the first demon that throws a punch at him, and jumps over the next one. He grabs the arm of the third and hurls him back, knocking down the first two. The last one takes INFRA by surprise, wrapping him in a headlock. This demon evidently hasn't anticipated much strength from INFRA's small figure though, and is shocked to be elbowed very hard in the stomach. Bending over in pain, he is easily knocked down by a firepunch to the head. ULTRA, meanwhile, is having problems fighting ABHOR, who is drawing strength from the orb he is holding and whose scythe is glowing, meaning instant death for ULTRA if it so much as touches him. Just as INFRA is punching the fourth demon, ULTRA dodges ABHOR's attack but flies into a pole and drops to the ground. ABHOR raises his scythe for the death blow and there is a blinding flash. When the light subsides, we see the fourth demon impaled on the scythe's blade; he is promptly vaporised. ULTRA is underneath, unharmed, and INFRA is still in a throwing position.
ABHOR: Go! Now!
The remaining demons drop back into the ground as ABHOR, orb in hand, flies down the street. INFRA and ULTRA quickly follow.
ULTRA: This is bad... this is very bad, they have all six now!
INFRA: What do they want with these orbs anyway?
ULTRA: I'll tell you later, if you don't find out by yourself first!
The duo remain in pursuit of ABHOR.
=====================================================
So... horrors upon horrors!! What will happen now?
Umm... what was I going to explain here? Oh yeah! Tempo's right arm fires energy blasts, like in Star Wars, or Metroid, or anything that has futuristic guns. Her left arm fires the heat-seeking rockets. Boom.
I like 'Paint the Town Red' but I think you need something that's going to stand out a bit more. Perhaps a title that refers to the orbs or the android? It's not too important at this stage though and you might find that something comes to you when it's completely finished.
=D Thanks Kitty for your consistent advice and comments, and Adam and Isdada for your help too.
On to the subject of titles. "Underworld Breakout"... bit stupid. What do you guys think of "Paint the Town Red" for the title of the first story arc?
A female Android? Awesome! I love the part in heaven when that angel's talking about her hair. Lol. I could visualise it so well. Also, I like the development of the bond between the two brothers but perhaps Infra should save Ultra that second time. Or is his loyalty not to be proven yet? It's good though and I'm looking forward to the next scene. An action scene I hope? Can't wait!
Well, first things first, I made some minor edits to the previous instalment.
Second things second, Mattisdada, you stud! Welcome to our humble YWS! We go way back. And yes, Isdada here is "Professor" Matt Gladman! =D *applause*
Last things last, we return to our hero.
=====================================================
INFRA trudges along the street, back the way he'd come, his bleeding having slowed greatly. The pain is no less, though, and INFRA looks to be on his last legs.
INFRA: Curse - curse that reaper... spotted by - humans... gah!
INFRA notices that another human (none other than PONCHO, in fact, but of course INFRA doesn't know this) coming down the street towards him. He ducks behind a postbox, but PONCHO has already spotted him and flicked out a torch. As PONCHO moves closer to INFRA's hiding place, the light grows brighter and INFRA braces himself for the worst. All of a sudden, just as PONCHO is about to reach INFRA, a metal garbage can falls over behind PONCHO, who turns and runs towards it. While he is distracted, ULTRA (who of course caused the diversion) grabs INFRA and flies onto the top of a building, out of PONCHO's eyesight.
INFRA: ULTRA! Did you find the orb? How'd you find me?
ULTRA: I sensed you, duh. Never mind the orb, why are you holding your belly like that?
INFRA moves his arms to reveal the large cut across his belly. ULTRA gasps.
INFRA: That pathetic reaper and his goons did it, and took the orb I had as well. How long does it take to die by a reaper's scythe?
ULTRA: It's instantaneous. He obviously wasn't trying to kill you immediately... it makes sense, if he had, the orb would have died with you. But you'll be fine. I've got a little healing ability.
ULTRA presses his hand to INFRA's wound, making INFRA wince; he concentrates mentally, but after a few seconds it's evident that he's having no effect.
ULTRA: Gah! It's too deep for me to heal alone, I need a powerful assistant or object... INFRA, wait here.
INFRA: Hey! Where're you going?
ULTRA: To get a powerful object. Stay there!
ULTRA flies into the sky and vanishes in a small flash of light. We follow him to Heaven, which at first glance resembles a massive hall. As ULTRA walks, it is soon revealed that this is just the entrance; the Heaven outside the hall is a large grassy park, fountain in the middle, various churches around the edges and a cathedral at the other end. ULTRA extends his wings and begins to make his way to the cathedral. ULTRA catches snippets of conversation from other angels as he flies past...
Timothy: ... see that demon I flattened in that forest? Serious...
Francine (stroking her hair): ... shines like the sun itself, I definitely recommend that conditioner...
ULTRA finally reaches the cathedral. Entering, he spots a very wrinkled angel wearing purple robes and a large golden cross around his neck, and strangely sporting three halos. This angel is HAROLD, current Lord of Heaven. ULTRA avoids him and moves towards a door on his right. Stepping through, he appears in front of a series of small safes. He locates the one he's after and reaches out toward it, but hesitates.
ULTRA (thinking): Only Lord HAROLD or the owner of an item is permitted to open a vault... surely I'm considered the owner? I did find it...
After a little deliberation, ULTRA pulls on the hatch. The door opens easily, and the red orb glows from inside.
ULTRA: Perfect!
He pockets the orb quickly, shutting the hatch and turning to leave. He is shocked to find an angel (GUILE) blocking his path.
ULTRA (relieved): Oh, it's you, GUILE. How've you been?
GUILE (dejectedly): Oh, fine, ULTRA, fine. I, uh, missed out on that promotion again, but... next time, right?
ULTRA: Yeah, of course you will, GUILE. You're the perfect material!
GUILE (a little more confidently): Yeah... yeah, I will, right? Hey, I'll see you around, ULTRA, ok?
With that, ULTRA and GUILE leave the room.
INFRA has begun shivering by the time ULTRA returns in a sudden blinding flash.
INFRA: I'm surprised they let you take that.
ULTRA: Life's full of surprises. Now hold still.
ULTRA once again presses his hand to INFRA's wound, causing INFRA to once again wince; this time, the red orb and ULTRA's hand glow as he passes it over the cut, sealing it. As he finishes, INFRA inspects his belly. It's completely unmarked and his pain is all gone.
INFRA: Thanks, ULTRA... I feel better than ever.
ULTRA: Pfft, that was nothing. You'd do the same for me, I know.
INFRA: ... ULTRA, tell me. How can you be so confident in that? I attacked you mercilessly! I robbed you of the orb that you rightfully found! And then you turn around and help me out when I'm hurt, and trust me to help you?
ULTRA: INFRA, I trust you. That's a fact, I trust you with my life. Whether it's the right thing to do... is up to you.
INFRA is silent for a bit. The silence is broken, however, when a red arrows hits ULTRA's hand, the one holding the orb. ULTRA is unharmed, but the orb goes flying out of his hand and straight into that of ABHOR, who is floating on the other side of the two and whom, upon catching the orb, flies away laughing manically. Looking in the other direction, INFRA spots a demon archer, and narrowly misses him with a fireball barrage.
INFRA: Damn them!
ULTRA: Gah, we were distracted... Come on, INFRA, we've got to follow them!
The duo drop back down onto the street and begin to head in the direction ABHOR went. The sun is just rising, and just as the duo pass by Gladman Labs, ULTRA hears something whizzing towards them. He tackles INFRA out of the way.
ULTRA: Look out!
As they fall to the ground, a green pellet hits the ground next to them, producing a small hole in the concrete. They get up and turn around to see the android from GLADMAN's workroom (TEMPO). TEMPO's gun closes, turning itself into a hand, and TEMPO herself flies down onto the road, landing in front of INFRA.
TEMPO: Ohayou gozaimasu, Oni-san (good morning, demon). My name is TEMPO, and my mission is to destroy you.
TEMPO raises her hand, which becomes a gun again, and aims it at INFRA.
=====================================================
Oooooooooooh cliffhanger! :O Looks like the long posts are back! =D
I know you guys have all been wondering "I wonder who that dashing and cool character called Matthew Gladman is...?"
Well wounder no more! For it is I! At long last.
Well Mattster, I always loved your ideas and the plot line you summarised for me. But what your script so far has been quite positively amazing. You have written it all quite well. And made it quite a enjoyable read. I have always loved you style of writing, it's very good. If you wanted to, you could become an author, and be a very successful one at that. So keep up the great work! I can't wait for the next part. What will happen next? No one knows!
Well, maybe Mattster does. But he doesn’t count!
Nicely Done Matt, Sorry I haven't gotten to thid before. I'll get the rest later.
Good formatting. This will perfect for drawing out a comic as you hace provided not only us, but yourself with descriptions of what thinghs look like. I look forward to reading more.
It's a short scene so not much to critique but it's nice. I like the little insight into Gladman's life and career. Ultra is nosey though. Tut tut. As an angel he really should learn to mind his own business and doesn't he know that stealing is wrong?
And we're back from the commercial break. Get time to stretch your legs? Lovely.
=====================================================
As PONCHO closes the door on his way out of the lab, we see ULTRA hiding behind it. As soon as it clangs shut, ULTRA darts down the hall and finds his way through the lab's corridors. As he nears GLADMAN's lab, ULTRA hears GLADMAN getting up to leave the room and conceals himself in a nearby side-corridor. Once GLADMAN is out of the way, ULTRA enters the room.
ULTRA (thinking): I know the orb is nearby... what is that?
ULTRA has seen GLADMAN's workbench. Lying on it is what appears to be a small humanoid form, unconscious but with its chest lying wide open. Its innards are not organs but cables and wires; ULTRA realises that it is an android. As he gets closer, he notices a scrapbook on a shelf below the bench and, picking it up, leafs through it. It is full of cut out newspaper articles, some of which ULTRA mutters aloud.
ULTRA: "Gladman-Brand Hovercar Instant Hit"... "Gladman Begins Work on Artificial Intelligence"... "Gladman Peace Crusade Underway"...
The next page ULTRA turns to contains smaller newspaper snippets. We see a wedding announcement between "Matthew Gladman" and "Midori Tsukiko", a photo of GLADMAN with a lady of the Japanese persuasion (Midori) and finally, down the bottom, Midori's obituary notice.
ULTRA: Gee, poor guy... eh?
ULTRA hears footsteps approaching. Realising he got distracted, ULTRA tosses the book onto the desk and hastily tries to mentally find the orb, but is too agitated and has to forfeit and leave the room, only just escaping before GLADMAN comes around the corner with a steaming cup of coffee. GLADMAN notices the book.
GLADMAN (thinking): I don't remember getting that out...
He looks for a few seconds at the photograph of himself and Midori, before rubbing his eyes and closing the book.
=====================================================
Ehehe... this one's a little short too. But that's ok, because soon the action will heat up again. ^_^
Heh, that's true. Gladman and Poncho are just recurring minor characters though, and I don't even know if Gene and Wilde will return after Underworld Breakout.
Anyway, under the advice of a non-YWS friend of mine who believes the scene with Infra finding Ultra and the orb in a gold mine is too coincidental, I'm going to try rewriting that bit... expect it sometime, lol.
And yeah, I'll try to make my scenes longer. That one with Infra and Ultra being chased by bats was really just the end of the previous one, but meh, in general they are a little short.
EDIT: The edited edit is edited. That is to say, there is no gold mine and Infra isn't so emo. XD Also changed the colours of some of the orbs and a few other things.
Wow, way to throw in a whole bunch of new characters. I liked these scenes but you do have a tendency to bring in lots of sub characters before you've given the reader time to get to know the others. Perhaps try to write longer scenes? It was good though and the dialogue was great.
Hmm... I've certainly bollocksed this up. See, I edited the previous post whenever I had new script to add, so as not to double-post. However, this meant that there was no new post and so it didn't get marked with "new post".
Anyway. I'll stop doing that now and just make a new post for new additions. Like now.
=====================================================
Inside Gladman Labs, we see Professor GLADMAN with Doctors GENE and WILDE. GLADMAN is at a table fiddling with screwdrivers and welding tools while GENE and WILDE are typing on laptops.
GENE: Professor, I've received an email from the police department.
GLADMAN: What? What could the police want with us?
GENE: I'm not sure, but it says the Chief of Police is coming over as soon as possible.
As if on cue, there is a knock at the door and Chief of Police PONCHO enters. He extends his hand to GLADMAN.
PONCHO: Dr GLADMAN, I presume?
GLADMAN: That's Professor GLADMAN to you. How'd you get into the building?
PONCHO wiggles a key in front of GLADMAN's face.
PONCHO: Skeleton key. I'm PONCHO, Chief of Police. Are you going to introduce us?
GLADMAN: Oh, erm... My associates, GENE and WILDE -
PONCHO: Pleasure. Mind if I have a private word with your boss?
Baffled, GENE and WILDE leave with their laptops.
GLADMAN: So, what's this all about, PONCHO?
PONCHO inserts a CD into his own laptop and turns the screen toward GLADMAN. As the CD plays, GLADMAN watches with mild interest. When the film ends, PONCHO closes the laptop.
GLADMAN: That was excellent. A demo for a new horror movie?
PONCHO: Not quite, Professor. That footage was taken by one of our hidden cameras on the corner of King and Pitt. We've got a possible threat on our hands... and I've come to enlist your help.
GLADMAN: You've got to be joking! Do you honestly think I'll believe that little red-and-white fellow was real? If it isn't a figment of computer graphics, then it's a child in a suit.
PONCHO: I wish this was all a prank, Professor, but have you ever seen a child move like that? Not to mention the whole fire thing.
GLADMAN: ... All right, so let's assume I believe you. What am I supposed to do?
PONCHO turns to the table GLADMAN was working at.
PONCHO: This is TEMPO, am I right?
GLADMAN (startled): What?
PONCHO: Technologically Enchanced Mechanical Prototype Operation. This is it, isn't it?
GLADMAN: How do you know about TEMPO? It's classified information!
PONCHO: I have connections. Your part in protecting the city is quite simple. All I require from you is a modification to TEMPO.
GLADMAN: And what would I have to change?
PONCHO: Its abilities. Its demeanour. You're going to make TEMPO into a fighting machine capable of destroying that thing.
GLADMAN gets to his feet, outraged.
GLADMAN: I will not convert my own creation into a tool for war! We don't even know if that thing in the video is hostile towards humans!
GLADMAN walks over to the door and opens it. PONCHO remains where he is.
GLADMAN: This meeting is over. Goodbye, Chief PONCHO.
PONCHO: I would think very carefully about my stance on this subject if I were you, Gladman. If you don't comply with my wishes, you'll be arrested and jailed for assisting terrorism, and I'm sure neither your assistants nor... your wife... would want that, now would they?
PONCHO has struck a nerve. GLADMAN's knees buckle at his words, and he looks down at them. He remains silent for a moment in thought.
GLADMAN (shakily): Come back tomorrow... TEMPO will be ready then.
PONCHO (getting up): Thank you, Professor. Your assistance is greatly appreciated.
=====================================================
Dum dum dum!!
Mmm indeed. I think an abridged version will be in a later story arc. XD
EDIT: Moar! (I edited the last bit slightly, as I remembered Infra needs to hold on to that orb for future events.)
=====================================================
A dark T-intersection... this is New Sydney (yeah yeah, real original) at night. INFRA and ULTRA walk quietly through it, not wanting to call attention to themselves as they walk toward the "split" of the intersection.
ULTRA: Keep a low profile here, INFRA. If mortals see us there'll be an uproar.
INFRA: That's perfect. All I need is more people to hate me.
ULTRA: Suck it up. I don't hate you, do I? And that demon was practically begging you to join him again.
INFRA: Oh, real comforting - huh?
INFRA pauses; he's sensed something, and so has ULTRA.
INFRA and ULTRA: That way!
They stare at each other; they have both pointed in opposite directions leading away from the intersection.
ULTRA: I felt the orb in that direction!
INFRA: That's strange, because I sensed it that way!
ULTRA: Ok, ok, keep it down. We'll split up and see what we find.
INFRA: Fine.
They each go their separate way. We first follow ULTRA, who follows his mind to a large building. He looks up at the logo above the doors.
ULTRA: Gladman Labs... I'm sure the orb is in there.
He searches all four walls of the place, up and down, but can't see any way in. Meanwhile, INFRA keeps moving up the street.
INFRA (thinking): I know I felt something up this way... it might not have been the orb, though...
He stops suddenly; it feels like his "sixth sense" is pointing upwards. As he looks up, two large demonic figures drop down on him, pinning him to the ground.
ABHOR: Don't mind us, INFRA... I'm just here to take back what's mine.
ABHOR appears above INFRA and raises his scythe, then brings it down in a wide arc, cutting open INFRA's belly. As INFRA yells in pain, ABHOR reaches inside and pulls out the orb INFRA had absorbed previously.
ABHOR: Mission success, boys. Let's bounce.
As ABHOR and the demons disappear into the ground, the sound of sirens reaches INFRA; his yell has attracted unwanted attention. Clutching at his stomach, he makes to escape, but finds he is now at a four-way intersection, and there is nowhere to hide. As the police vehicles land, INFRA tries to run in the opposite direction. The policemen, Reilly and Flaherty, get out of their car.
Reilly: What the heck is that?
Flaherty: I don't know, but it's causing a disturbance. We'd better take it in... that Gladman guy might know what to do with it.
Reilly: Ok... follow my lead.
INFRA growls in pain as the cops approach. Reilly draws his gun cautiously and motions Flaherty do the same. Both cops pointing their guns at INFRA, they move gradually around him and attempt to "herd" him into the vehicle. INFRA, looking back, pretends to comply and backs slowly toward the vehicle. It's not until he's up against it that he makes his move; he makes a great jump backwards to the other side of the vehicle, where with a mighty punch he sends the vehicle spinning toward the police. The two humans leap out of the way as the vehicle almost slams into them, giving INFRA time to slink away into the shadows.
Reilly: Where'd it go?
Flaherty: I think the Chief needs to hear about this.
Reilly: Agreed.
They go running towards their vehicle, which has stopped skidding a few blocks up the street.
=====================================================
GASP.
Cool. Now you just have to fit all of that into the script without info dumping
Good question. I'll explain a little about the orbs.
The orbs are actually storage devices for massive amounts of supernatural energy. They can be filled with energy either by receiving it from a being who possesses such energy (which is quicker) or by gradually generating energy if it is left alone for long enough.
The orbs are actually centuries old and were created by a wizard for the very purpose of storing energy. There are seven in total (although until a later story arc, only six are known). Very few people knew about them back then and it remains the same in the present; Luke has only learned of them recently by having his minions read St Peter's book (which details the history of everyone and everything).
The reason they are so easily found is that only supernatural beings such as angels and demons, can "sense" their presence, and these beings normally don't travel to the mortal realm. The humans that live near them, obviously, are oblivious to them.
The reason Luke is after them will be revealed in due course; the reason the angels want them is simply to prevent Luke from succeeding, and of course Infra now shares their sentiment.
And now we return to the story.
=====================================================
AS INFRA and ULTRA turn to leave, ABHOR collects his scythe and glides into LUKE's portal. No sooner has he vanished than hundreds of bat-like creatures (Wavers) fly out and begin attacking the duo.
LUKE: I'll be waiting, INFRA...
The portal closes. INFRA begins throwing fireballs at all the Wavers in front of him, but is ambushed from behind by a group who begin biting him. Other Wavers take the opportunity and attack, and soon INFRA is engulfed in Wavers. ULTRA tries to reach INFRA but is swamped by Wavers. Finally one Waver bites INFRA a little too hard, and INFRA shouts in pain as his body seems to become flame for an instant, burning away all the Wavers nearby him. As he stands in shock wondering what has just happened, ULTRA blows away the remaining Wavers, which were heading towards INFRA.
ULTRA: ... Are - you ok?
INFRA: What? Yeah - yeah. Let's go, before Luke comes back.
INFRA and ULTRA head into the city.
=====================================================
A bit shorter this time. Oh well.
Hmmm. They don't seem to have much trouble finding the orbs and I take it these are valuable items? How do they locate them so easily and if they are valuable and easy to find, shouldn't there be loads of people searching for them and fighting over them rather than just two groups?
It's good though. I like that the two brothers are working together now.
Back once again.
=====================================================
At the base of the mountain that INFRA and ULTRA fought on, INFRA sits on a rock.
INFRA: Replaced? Replaced for some second-rater who just happened to find an ancient orb? I don't believe this...
INFRA ponders for a while.
INFRA (thinking): Ancient orb, huh? Yeah. Keep the rest for myself, that'll throw a monkey wrench into LUKE's big plans.
INFRA gets to his feet, a new confidence in his voice.
INFRA: I hope you hear this, LUKE, because I won't stop to repeat myself! I will bring down your all-important quest, and you will wish you had never replaced me with some rookie loser!
INFRA leaps off the rock and stands still for a second, trying to sense the right direction to travel in. After a few seconds, he moves quickly off-panel.
We next see INFRA entering what seems to be an old rundown village; it's evident that no one has lived here for decades. As INFRA homes in on the orb's location, he realises it's moving toward him. Seconds later, ULTRA emerges from a ramshackled old hut clutching a red orb. He notices INFRA, and the two stare at each other for several seconds. Finally ULTRA draws his staff and speaks.
ULTRA: I'd stay back if I were you, INFRA. I'm not going to lose again.
INFRA remains in thought for a moment before answering.
INFRA: Nah... you take that one. I've got a bone to pick with someone...
And with that, INFRA leaves ULTRA looking completely baffled.
Later, INFRA has located another orb in a small patch of parkland, on the distant outskirts of a large futuristic-looking city. He stands looking at the ground for a few seconds, then moves away and ducks behind a tree.
INFRA (thinking): ULTRA would still be delivering that red orb, which means the next being to find this one will probably be...
INFRA is right, as a dark figure (ABHOR) floats towards the orb's location. It hovers for a second, then raises its weapon, a scythe, and plunges it into the ground. There is a small explosion and clumps of soil fly into the air. As ABHOR reaches to pick up the glowing orange object from inside the hole, a flash of fire burns his hand and he retracts it quickly. He looks up to see INFRA.
INFRA: Don't tell me... I've been replaced by a Reaper?
ABHOR: Ah, so you're the bleeding heart that Master LUKE had to reject.
INFRA: Bleeding heart? What's that supposed to mean?
ABHOR: I suggest you talk to Master LUKE, as my assignment doesn't involve explaining anything to you. Now desist, I'm busy.
ABHOR goes to take the orb again, but INFRA attacks him with a firepunch to the "stomach" area. As ABHOR drops to the ground, INFRA stands over him.
INFRA: Tell me what this "bleeding heart" stuff is all about.
ABHOR responds with a slash at INFRA. As INFRA dodges the attack, he notices the scythe's blade is glowing slightly green.
ABHOR: Don't get in my way, demon... you don't want Abhor as an enemy.
INFRA: I don't want him as an ally either. So what?
INFRA and ABHOR proceed to fight. Meanwhile, ULTRA appears in the city nearby, senses the location of the orb and notices the brawl. However, neither INFRA nor ABHOR have landed a hit on the other. Finally INFRA, narrowly missing ABHOR himself, instead sets alight his cloak, sending ABHOR into fits of panic and branding him "comic relief" for the rest of the series. In his frantic state, it's much easier for INFRA to attack him, and so he is brought to the ground as INFRA kicks his scythe away.
ABHOR: My cloak!
INFRA: Tell me the truth. Why was I replaced?
ABHOR: Get off me!
INFRA fire-punches ABHOR in the face.
INFRA: I won't hesitate to kill you if I don't hear what I want to know. Now say it.
LUKE's voice: That won't be necessary, INFRA.
A portal to the underworld opens in front of INFRA, and LUKE's eyes appear inside.
LUKE: You've certainly made progress, INFRA, but I'll need you to refrain from killing ABHOR.
INFRA: I'll do no such thing. Why was I rejected?
LUKE: It isn't important now. Come and work for me again, and when my quest is complete you'll be my right-hand man.
ULTRA: INFRA, don't!
INFRA turns to see ULTRA standing behind him.
ULTRA: Come on, INFRA... It was nasty seeing you so brutal before.
LUKE: Ignore him! Toss the orb to me and you can join us again!
ULTRA: INFRA, brother, you don't belong with them.
LUKE: You winged freak! He's a demon! Where else could he belong? Come now, INFRA. Do it.
After some thought, INFRA picks up the orb. ULTRA sighs in disappointment before gasping in surprise, as INFRA absorbs the orb.
INFRA: Go back to the world that shunned me when I got the job done? I think not.
ULTRA (grinning): Good call, brother. Shall we go?
INFRA: Mm-hmm... lead the way.
LUKE: So I am the one rejected this time... So be it! If you don't join me by choice, you will join me by force!
=====================================================
To be continued... Oooooooooooooooooooooo.
Some good conflict in this section and I like the fight between ULTRA and INFRA. Just one suggestion -
He hasn't yet realised that another group of angels, consisting of Farrah, James and ULTRA. [You need to either add 'have arrived' to the end of this section or change it to 'He hasn't yet realised that there's another group....']
Kitty: Ah, I see what you mean. Mmm, I'm not sure how that sort of thing might work with a comic strip, but I'll see if I can figure something out.
Meanwhile, here's the next bit.
=====================================================
The snowy peak of a rugged mountain. INFRA trudges up the mountain, the snow steaming and melting as his flaming-hot skin digs through. He hasn't yet realised that another group of angels, consisting of Farrah, James and ULTRA, are already here.
ULTRA: James... is - is this it?
ULTRA holds up an orb similar to INFRA's but with a blue tinge. James and Farrah stare at it for a second.
James: That's it. Well done, ULTRA. Now we should head back before we're -
James is cut off by a streak of flame that burns his leg. The angels turn to where INFRA is standing.
ULTRA: INFRA?
Farrah: You know that thing?
ULTRA: Why are you attacking us? You're not... are you?
INFRA: Working for the Underworld? Yes, I am. Now hand me the orb.
ULTRA: I will not, INFRA.
INFRA: ... Shame.
INFRA leaps at the orb in ULTRA's hand. Farrah and James begin firing glowing arrows at INFRA, who has tackled ULTRA to the ground. However, INFRA is thrown into the air by ULTRA's attack: a flurry of waterbombs.
ULTRA: Apparently, water still trumps fire, brother.
INFRA (recovering): Don't call me that!
INFRA throws fireballs to his left and right, destroying Farrah's and James' bows, and lunges at ULTRA again. ULTRA is ready and creates a bubble-like shield around himself, causing INFRA to bounce off. James aims a punch at INFRA but INFRA grabs his arm and throws him off the edge of the mountain peak; Farrah, who has wings, flies down to rescue him. INFRA gets up to look at ULTRA, who removes the shield.
ULTRA: Care to admit defeat yet, brother?
INFRA: I am not your brother! You're an angel and I'm a demon! No true demon is related to an angel! It's impossible!
ULTRA: Maybe it is, but it's also true. Tell me, INFRA, why do you want to be a true demon?
INFRA: I don't "wanna be"! I am a true demon, and I'll prove it!
INFRA takes advantage of ULTRA's unshielded state to hurl a wall of fireballs at him. ULTRA is blown back and drops the orb, which bounces away into the snow. INFRA covers his body in flame and tackles ULTRA once again, this time badly scorching him. INFRA proceeds to pummel ULTRA until ULTRA is immobile, stretched out on the ground, bloodied lip, etc. INFRA stands above him.
INFRA: You call that brotherly behaviour?
ULTRA: *cough* Go on... kill me then...
INFRA: Why? I have the orb. I win.
With that, INFRA picks up the orb, absorbs it, and just as Farrah and James return, he opens a portal to the underworld and dives in. Farrah and James rush over to ULTRA, Farrah picks him up as James stares at the sky. A bright yellow light shines down on the trio; seconds later they vanish.
Another part of the underworld. Similar to LUKE's chamber, this room is much larger and appears to be a "balcony" of sorts; over a rocky wall nearby, more of the underworld can be seen. As INFRA enters from one end, a massive three-headed hound (Cerberus) lying at the other end lifts one of its heads.
Cerberus: Who is it?
INFRA: It's me, INFRA. I have another orb for Master LUKE.
Cerberus: Hand it to me.
A little confused that he isn't handing over the orb in person, INFRA complies.
INFRA: May I speak with Master LUKE?
Cerberus: I'm afraid that isn't possible. See, while you were taking your time with this orb, another capable being went and picked up a yellow one in half the time.
INFRA: Well, good. That makes Master LUKE's mission all the easier with two of us.
Cerberus: That's the issue. Master LUKE only wants one agent hunting orbs for him. You've been replaced, INFRA.
INFRA stands still in shock for a moment before turning and leaving the chamber.
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Another intermission here. Popcorn and drinks can be purchased from the candy bar out front. =)
Minor edit: Thanks for that Kitty, good call. =)
Lol. Stage directions are basically where the script writor tells the actors how to move, where to stand, what to wear and such. Basically, it's where you've described the action; your sections of prose. Some scripts are dialogue heavy and I was just pleased to find that you set the scene well and made it easy for someone reading the script to visualise everything. Hope that made a little sense...
Thanks Kitty. I was thinking I should use the same name all the time, I'll edit that now.
Also, what are stage directions? =)
This was a really good start. I take it the shadowed figure, the demon and infra are all the same? If so, use INFRA the whole time. I can see that you was trying to disguise that it was a demon and such but it's less confusing if you call the character INFRA from the start. Also, if that's LUKE speaking at the end then use LUKE. Other than that, some nice, detailed stage directions and I shall certainly read more.