Like small funny. Like, funny as in not really funny at all because I don't really know what is classed as funny, funny. You get me? No, well, tough. :]
Setting:
In the car, on the way to somewhere. But I don't really know where so lets pretend they actually know where they're going and just say they're driving in a motorway in the middle of nowhere. Yass. MAN!
Scene One:
Bob, a fat weird man is driving a pink car with a guy called Jamie in the passanger's seat.
Bob: I spy with my little eye... something beginning with F.
Jamie: Fuck.
Bob: That's not an object.
Jamie: Are you sure?
Bob: I think so...
Jamie: It could be an object if you put something infront of it.
Bob: You what? Give me an example.
Jamie: Fuck toy.
Bob: Oh, you're right. Good one.
Jamie: So do I win?
Bob: Win what?
Jamie: I Spy.
Bob: Huh?
Jamie: Do you have a fuck toy in your car?
Bob: Bit of a personal question there.
Jamie: (Looks through the door's pocket.) Yes then.
Bob: You what?
Jamie: You have a fuck toy in your car. I win.
Bob: But I wasn't thinking that.
Jamie: What were you thinking then? (looks through the car pocket even more.) Condoms? Thongs? Money? Lipstick? (begins to put lipstick on his lips.)
Bob: Shit...
Jamie: What? (Still putting lipstick on face.)
Bob stops the car, making Jamie miss his lips and making him draw a line of lipstick up his face. Bob gets out the car and looks at it.
Jamie: What is it?
Bob: This isn't my car...
Jamie: Huh?
Bob: This isn't my car.
Jamie: How not?
Bob: I don't have that sort of stuff in my car.
Jamie: Yes you do. I'm holding them right now.
Bob: My car's not pink... it's blue.
Jamie: Maybe it changes colour... magically.
Bob: No... I don't think that's it. I don't think this is my car.
Jamie: Now this explains why the car key wouldn't open the door...
Bob: I think so...
Twilight noise plays in the background.
--
They get back into the car again and begin to drive again. You can't see them, you can only see the car driving off.
Jamie: So what was it?
Bob: You what?
Jamie: What were you thinking of?
Bob: In I spy?
Jamie: Yeah.
Bob: I forget...
Jamie: Do you think I suit this lipstick?
Bob: Erm...
Jamie: You hurt me. A lot.
Bob: I didn't mean to...
Jamie: I don't want to here it!
Bob: Poof...
SHUDDAP I WAS BORED. ;]]]]]!
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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I totally agree with Lexi. The feeble end spoils the whole script. That's really frustrating. I mean, it should end there :
That would be perfect this way, it stands as a good and hilarious punchline, no need to disapoint your reader by adding this utterly useless ( and not even funny) end.
Well, that's only a suggestion ^^
'I don't want to hear it' rather than 'I don't want to here it' but this is really old so... yeah. It's great though. I love the two characters. They're both so stupid and I found this rather amusing so good job.
lol...interesting.
I thought it was pretty funny, actually. Or maybe my sense of humour's just off since I'll laugh at almost anything.
Seemed like one looong tangent, but that's part of the humour.
Hehehe. I like this. Be bored more often.
I'll admit: I laughed. The only thing that distracted me were some homophone problems (like "here" instead of "hear" in the last line of Jamie's). I liked it, good job.
lol, yes i agree with all the critiques i could be bothered reading (which was the first one). Its really funny. hehehehe
oh my god... that was funny...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
That was wierd.
Pandora
this was great! You need to make it longer.....
And the ending is a little feeble
MORE MORE MORE
lexy x
Somewhat amusing. The dialogue sounded very authentic, which I like. It's nice when boredom has results like this.
*backs away and runs to hills after Gazza...*
Oh the scary aspects of your bordeom, lol...
I really liked this, it is rare we get scripsts on YWS and this was short and sweet. I love the character interaction however if I was to direct I would use sex instead of f*ck because some may find it offensive. But then again directors and playwrights hate each other lol.
Good work.
hehe. Made me laugh. It also shows the true insanity inside you.
*smiles and backs away*
*runs to hills*
Haha! Great idea! THEY ARE NOW HIGH! Thanks. :]]]]!
Heh that was kinda funny i imainge those two guys in that are both high heh.