Rydia

Hullo! I found another chapter ;) Specifics 1. I'm not sure that the description of animals smelling animalish works because animals have so many different smells and it makes me ...

Hello darling! I am reviewing every member of Team Tortoise and you're up next

Hi! I'm reviewing all of Team Tortoise and I liked the title of this one so I thought I'd come review. The length and layout are a little more daunting ...

Heya! I'm reviewing people on team tortoise and that includes you :) Specifics 1. Your first line is a little over clunky and I'd like to see it made crisper, ...

Hey, I'm reviewing people on Team Tortoise so here I am ^^ Specifics 1. I'm going to start off totally picky and say you could find a more interesting word ...

Haiii! I'm doing a review for everyone on Team Tortoise so here I am :) Specifics 1. Your opening line is a slightly too common phrase for my liking. In ...

Howdy! I'm reviewing team tortoise and you're up :) Specifics 1. The first line is very prosey and doesn't have much of a rhythm so you may want to play ...

Haaiii! I'm reviewing everyone on team tortoise and you're up next :) Specifics 1. Shendelzare flied flew with her snow white wings, looking for Dragonus, her sworn protector. The opening ...

Hullo! I'm doing a review for each member of team tortoise so here I am :) Specifics 1. Try to avoid repeating words in a sentence unless it's basic words ...

Hey there! I'm reviewing everyone on team tortoise and you're up next :) Specifics 1. I'm not sure how clocks can melt figures - it's very abstract and is an ...

Hi! I'm trying to review something by everyone on team tortoise so I thought I'd take a look at this :) Specifics 1. Good, strong opening line - nice work! ...

Hullo! I've decided I'm going to review people from Team Tortoise so here I am :) Specifics 1. I think the use of 'such' in the second line is a ...

Hi! You've done a lot of reviews and I need to write a review today so I figured why not review you? :) Line-by-line 1. Nice opening, very quickly sets ...

Specifics 1. His glare caught her in its sights for a second before he sighed. "We've had to put down another one. It's a waste of fucking resources, and it ...

Short segment - definitely a little too short. I'll try and think of some ways you could pad it out while I read through. Specifics 1. The repetition of tracing ...