Rydia

This was rather simplistic and it had the main point but you need to explain it, you need to expand. Maybe give some examples of where there is good and ...

Some of the imagery in this piece is nice but I suggest that you use capitals after the fullstops unless you have a specific reason not to. Your punctuation and ...

Have to agree that this wasn't the best. I mean if a poem is supposed to be cliche then that's great but I expect to see a cliche poem. That ...

How about a semi colon at the end of the second line and I'm not sure that disapearing is spelt right but I'm from England so spelling might vary for ...

All characters in any literature book seek their happiness; they seek for something that would make them happy so they may leave all their troubles behind. However, it’s not their ...

I like the dark humour in this piece and I found it quite disturbing. That's a good thing mind. At first I liked the persona with his talk of heroic ...

The rhythm of this is a little off in places and a few of your rhymes are forced but I love the theme of this poem and the ending is ...

This seems interesting and I'm certainly curious. What is it the persona has done that's so bad is just one of the questions that's running through my head and making ...

A few suggestions... winters needs an apostrophe - winters' Open rather than opened perhaps? She lay still on the bed as her once golden hair caught the snowflakes as they ...

A little and it's rather repetitve. Also, writer is spelt wrong and so is friendless. Let me see... Do you want it to make sense? If you do, here are ...

I liked this poem and the rhythm was, as Claudette mentioned, rather subtle but it still worked. Actually I did notice the rhythm before you mentioned it but only because ...

I loved this one Jasmine. Your description was great and you wrote what you write best - negative love poetry. The rhythm of this piece is brilliant and the rhymes ...

You said ignore repitition and I'm nice so I'm going to resist the urge to...resisting... Okay. The poem covers an emotion I'll give you that but you have to reach ...

I don't know what to advise actually. Parts of this poem seem rather repetetive, especially 'go away' and you give the reader so little information. You have to try and ...

It's short, quite simple but well written. The half rhymes of 'ground' and 'clouds' don't work and that third line isn't very strong anyway so you might want to change ...