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  • Novel / Chapter » Historical Fiction, Action / Adventure Re: -deleted-

    I enjoyed this piece. As a reader I get a clear introduction to your setting and several important characters. The pacing of the story is strong so far: with a ...

    Feb 19, 2016
  • Poetry » Romantic, Dramatic Re: Hope and Me

    I should warn that I don’t tend to review poetry and don’t consider myself anything of an expert in it, and for that reason you should feel free to disregard ...

    Feb 5, 2016
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: The Aderyn: Prologue

    I enjoyed this piece quite a bit. You’ve established a central character in the girl, and a central [or at least initial] conflict with entering the forest. As a reader ...

    Jan 5, 2016
  • Short Story » Historical Fiction, Narrative Re: A Soldier's Death

    Howdy, I enjoyed this piece. I tend to read and write fantasy, but I’m discovering the rewards that come from history and historical fiction. This piece clearly turns on the ...

    Dec 27, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Action / Adventure Re: Notes of Life: Chapter One

    Howdy. As is my wont, I’ll be beginning with the general and moving to the specifics. Generally: Characterisation: I thought Anne and Bill came off as overly vindictive. Even if ...

    Feb 25, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Action / Adventure Re: Kaori's Treaty~Prolouge

    Howdy, I’ll be beginning with general comments and moving to the specific. General: I’m intrigued about how this plays out. Given the magic and powers at play, it wouldn’t be ...

    Feb 24, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: rupicapra rupicapra -- chapter one

    Howdy, I’ll begin with the general and move to the specific. Generally: Characterisation: You introduce a core of named characters as well as a group community, and all of them ...

    Feb 22, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Action / Adventure Re: Gray : Present Two

    Howdy, I enjoyed this part, particularly the introduction of a character emotionally invested in the choices other character have previously made. Great way to introduce a bull-bodied character. Howev

    Feb 20, 2015
  • Poetry » Politics, General Re: The U.S (What I Hate)

    Howdy. General Commentary. As an Australian, I’m more familiar with my own country’s colonial history than America’s, but I’m familiar with the broad strokes. I enjoyed the pace of the ...

    Feb 19, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Action / Adventure Re: Gray : Past One

    Once again, beginning with the general, moving to the more particular. I felt like Viska’s characterisation changed quite a bit in this piece. He seemed impatient, ill-tempered, and unreasonable mor

    Feb 18, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Action / Adventure Re: Gray : Present One

    Howdy. Generally: Interesting to see this put together with a different narrative structure, with a little more room to develop character interactions. It's good to see Fell piece together Viska's ...

    Feb 18, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: In which Rothur reveals the curse

    This will be a short one, since there's very little to pick apart. Generally, I enjoy the piece. It's approachable for a younger audience, well paced, and gives narrative exposition ...

    Feb 18, 2015
  • Short Story » Fantasy, Supernatural Re: Children of Earth

    Howdy, I'll begin with the general and then move to the specific. General: So this serves as something of a mish-mash between Graeco-Hellenic creation myths, involving flawed, obtuse deities hatching ...

    Feb 18, 2015
  • Script » Action / Adventure, Dramatic Re: Their Kingdom #1

    Howdy, I'll begin with general comments, and move to specifics. Characterisation: There’s a real sense that other characters exist to provide openings for Andrew to show his wit, charm or ...

    Feb 17, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Trials of a Master Thief: Chapter 1

    Generally Characterisation: I enjoyed the characterisation of Lloyd and Lyn, although the narrative framing gives us more insight into Lloyd than Lyn. Lyn is definitely filling the “spunky sidekick/

    Feb 17, 2015


"The trouble with Borrowing another mind was, you always felt out of place when you got back to your own body, and Granny was the first person ever to read the mind of a building. Now she was feeling big and gritty and full of passages. 'Are you all right?' Granny nodded, and opened her windows. She extended her east and west wings and tried to concentrate on the tiny cup held in her pillars."
— Terry Pratchett, Discworld: Equal Rites