Rook

your first thing is a phrase that I actually use a lot, but I think some people don't know what it means. It's in the dictionary though: I agree with ...

Yup. My magic doesn't have sparkles. If you're gonna get transported somewhere, you're suddenly there. No magical winds and a slurping sensation. But yeah, I'll see if there's some way ...

The narrator just says "Shep returned with the Enchantress", but no clues as to what happened to the enchantress afterwards. Um... it says "without" xD They were on the mountaintop, ...

Also, you know what else I'd love to see? Some change from "my fair lady" to something much more twisted. :)

Hm... yes, these are very important things that I didn't even think of. I'll definitely go through this with these suggestions in mind when I edit. Thank you!

I'm even more sorry I had to google it.

Hm. yeah, I didn't get that outcome at all from the poem. I still suggest you put it in more of a prose-type thing. Maybe you could have the verses ...

Oops I meant to say 852 and not 652. :P It's definitely not 652 words short. XD Thank you for the review, as always. ^-^

Mark Twain used slang all the time, and instead of seeming unprofessional, it made his characters more lifelike than the usual character robots, which led him to become one of ...

1-3 I did for stylistic purposes. It is perfectly fine to use slang in dialogue, if it makes sense for the character to be speaking with said slang. With the ...

I love this.

That is a great ending idea >.>

Yes, when you say it, it makes sense, but without you saying it, it doesn't really. Maybe the title could be Red Flecks of Anger or something. I dunno.

Whoo, man, the further I get away from Prologue and Chapter 1, the worse they look :P Thank you sooo much for this review! It was very helpful. ^-^ (it ...

Yeah, I don't know if art was originally intended for... art, but now-a-days it's used for... other things. I dunno. I can't really explain it. I've been wondering the same ...