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Re: I choose to smile
Hey RavenBlack here! This was an interesting and enjoyable read, didn't expect to see snake people xD quite a shock for me. Let's get on with the review shall we ...
Apr 8, 2017 -
Re: My debut short story at the YWS.I would like to request you all to read this. Hope to write a better short story next time.
Hey RavenBlack here! Great first story, I found it to be an interesting outlook on death so well done for being creative that's one of the first things that makes ...
Apr 7, 2017 -
Re: No Destination (Chapter 4: Words to Pave the Way)
Hey, RavenBlack here! First off, I love your description! It was so easy to envision the world and what people looked like that I myself was intimated by Cain! I ...
Mar 26, 2017 -
Re: Awake-Chapter Two
Hey RavenBlack here! Let's start with some positives! :-) 1. I think overall it's an interesting read, it reminds me of a road trip but with people that don't really ...
Mar 26, 2017 -
Re: Rachel and Matt VerIII
Awww, i love this, I thought the ending was going to be different, I thought they weren't going to get together but yayy they did! Positives: - Relatable character - ...
Mar 20, 2017 -
Re: Porcelain Doll (Short Story)
THIS IS AMAZING! I'M SO JEALOUSY OF HOW YOU DESCRIBE SO WELL! YOUR DESCRIPTION BLEW ME AWAY! I loved the way you started, talking about how you wished to be ...
Mar 13, 2017 -
Re: Old World Ashes (prologue)
Hey Raven here! Overall it's a good start to a novel I'm guessing, really creates this atmosphere of disaster and turmoil. I love the phrase: "the lesser 'imps' came though ...
Mar 13, 2017 -
Re: My Friend, The Painting (Part 1)
This is very intriguing story, I wanted to know more about the school and the ghosts that lived there. Positives: - Easy to follow description, sometimes people go overboard with ...
Mar 13, 2017 -
Re: My Taken Right (Duologue)
This is a great section of dialogue, really illustrates the trust between Will and Lily and creates pity for Will, I felt sad while reading it. Though I would say, ...
Mar 12, 2017 -
Re: Bullies
Very unique way of expressing what it feels to be bullied, using science as a means to illustrate all the emotions running through the characters mind and body. It made ...
Mar 11, 2017 -
Re: Panic
This is great and really captivating. I don't know if this is on purpose but the line: "for it is my own thoughts guiding me to the edge of a ...
Mar 11, 2017 -
Re: The Corpse Cabaret - 1 - Her Crimes Exposed
Great story, I especially loved the description which I think was the main positive of your work. However this is probably just me but i didn't understand why she would ...
Mar 11, 2017 -
Re: Joyful
I loved the description, it allowed me to feel what they felt. I especially loved the line: "see the fear in people's eyes as they begged for mercy", it illustrated ...
Mar 11, 2017