Pompadour

Hey, Lumi~ This was lovely. Like, really 'I'm-going-to-reach-into-you-and-snap-your-spine' lovely. Because snapping spines is a good thing. I feel like there are certain areas where your poetic voice

Hullo. Gonna make this a quick review. Happy Review Day! I don't think this works as a prologue. It's too vague to establish a good hook and it hints at ...

Hi there. Pomp here for a quick review~ ...a hoard of chairs... I've never heard of anyone hoarding chairs. Did you mean 'horde'? If you did, then I don't think ...

Hi, Holy Moly~ Here for a quick review! I don't think this was repetitive, to be honest. I think it was just a tad confusing and it was hard for ...

Hello there~ Welcome to YWS! What I liked about this was the fact that your imagery of the snowscape remains, for the most part, consistent, and that really knits the ...

Hello. I've never heard the original joke before, but I think I can admit that I did not understand these jokes? Perhaps I'm just dense, but I really can't see ...

Hi there~ Here to review as requested. I like how you've played with the structure. It works well in certain areas, like when the narrator is talking about their brokenness, ...

Hi. I'm not an advocate of beginning stories with dialogue: dialogue is overused as an opening and it doesn't really establish a context for the reader to relate to. It ...

Hi, Olive~ Here for a quick review! I think you could get rid of the passive voice in the first sentence by changing 'was beginning' to 'had begun'. Besides that, ...

Yo, I'll make this quick. You don't need the article before 'stone'. Because this 'stone' is not a specific one that has been mentioned before, placing 'the' before it is ...

Heya. I'm here to leave a quick review. I'm not familiar with the ... show? book? that this has been written for, so I'll be looking at it as I ...

Y'ola. Here to review as requested~ Before I begin, it's admirable that you wrote this, in light of what happened last week. Most of the time, pain is difficult to ...

Yo. Welcome to YWS. Not much to add here. Like Hira's mentioned, this isn't really a prologue, but it can't stand as a chapter on its own either. I'll talk ...

Hoi, Star~ You've set up a lovely dreamlike atmosphere here and your description of the scene in itself is quite pretty; I think this could be more interesting if the ...

Hola, hattperson~ Here as promised. I won't pull any clunky sentences out or anything, seeing as NaNo's all about them clumsy sentences anyway--just make a note to smooth them out ...