On That Road

Tangled up upon my path,

The backroads have all but darkened on me

A blizzard has descended upon the road

Obscuring my view of all that’s past

I like to think of snowfall

Gentle, gleaming pieces of peace

All that fell never was

I wish to imagine flurries

Instead the tragic winds in front of me

Have I become blind?

This wicked view of me

Is not the man in the mirror

Is it the man in the mirror?

I could have had it all,

I could have held a snowball in the palm of my hands,

Frigid, icy,

But a perfect circle of what everything meant

I like to think of snowfall

The moment where the day ceases and everything is serene

I’d have it all

I’d have my abode to protect me

I’d have built my stable home

If I had just let the snowfall gently taper off

And bask in its beauty

My car’s jammed in the middle of the road

I’m begging for middle ground

The gusts are picking up speed

I’m slowly swept away

Pleading God to keep me alive

I inhale the frosty air

Winter has taken hold of me

My life flashes in snowfall

I choke on every failure as they grasp at my throat

I choke on every unfulfilled desire

I choke on every “no” I’ve ever uttered

I choke on every yes that destroyed me

I choke on every lover that became my life

I choke on the last breath of this living moment

I exhale the gasp of death

Silence ensues.

All snowfall ceases to exist

I still sit in the middle of this jaded crossroads

Have I died?

I exhale new life

Relief from all that punished me

Relief from destruction, for it has shaped my new lenses

Relief from the knife that cut into my soul when no one could hear me scream

Relief from tears of madness that drove my path

Relief from the anguish of how I used to bleed for others

Relief from bleeding too much

I have chosen myself above all else,

I have chosen relief from true death.

Blizzards fade into night stars and skies of galaxies

Nothing but the present gleams in front of me

All the past constellations have faded

Let them fade, let them fade

The winds have all but calmed

The back roads are in my periphery

Let them fade, let them fade

And any misery I’ve ever felt

Any woe that’s fallen before me

Any time I’ve knocked on the doors of death

Was a step into rebirth

Let them fade, let them fade

I was every star in the sky

For I am alive

And shining in the winter air tonight

Let them fade, let them fade

Alone in the atmosphere

I embrace solitude from where I sit

Turning the ignition in the car

Driving forward again

Let them fade, let them fade

And snowfall will forever remain

And home is an abode I create

I can roll a new snowball

And forever hold its picture in my mind

Let them fade, let them fade

The path is clear and forever mine

I hit the gas and speed ahead

Never forgetting what the night has taught me

Let them fade, let them fade

I am the breath of new life.