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Poison

  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: A Friendship Worth Saving

    Okay, here we go. My corrections are in bold. There he was. There was Bethany's best friend--kissing Jade. This first sentence confuses me. If you switch to Chauncey's point of ...

    Dec 12, 2009
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: I've Been Meaning to Tell You

    I don't have much critique for this. It was both really good grammatically and story-wise. I found it interesting that you decided to use a blind girl. I am visually ...

    Dec 11, 2009
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Her Heart.

    Now here, He Broke That Shield Of Armor And Showed Her The World; His World. it may be grammatically correct (I'm not entirely sure), but, to me, it doesn't really ...

    Dec 11, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Of Loss and Love (chp.7) [newly edited]

    Sorry for the delay again! Please let me know what you think of this chapter, I really, really need some good reviews. A special thanks to all those who have ...

    Nov 30, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Wire Hearts and Paper Dreams (5)

    I feel this deserves a critique. So here we go. Sorry it can't be a line-by-line crit. But I will point out the big things. Okay, the first thing I ...

    Nov 28, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Paper Piano-Chap. Two

    “Oh, it’s perfect!” A black, grand , piano stood in the middle of the café with white keys shining in the spotlights. “I wanted to bring you here this morning, ...

    Nov 22, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Paper Piano-Chap. One

    Edits are in bold. I hope the layout of this is not messed up. If it is, then please excuse it. I was'nt concentrating on grammar, just the story. Tell ...

    Nov 22, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: first part of my novel. no title yet.

    I'm sorry I don't have time for a line-by-line critique, but I will give a few comments. First, your opening paragraph. It doesn't really hook me. Telling me what she ...

    Nov 21, 2009
  • Short Story » Historical Fiction, General Re: A Holocaust Novel

    Sorry I couldn't get to this earlier, d@ydre@mer!! I promise to do better next time. (corrections are in bold) This is a story I wrote last year, to be more ...

    Nov 20, 2009
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Being Second Best

    Alright, here we go. When I was a young girl, I had dreams of romance and love. Though when i capitalize was 15 Comma. (Write out the word "fifteen" to ...

    Nov 15, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Breena (Six)

    Okay, I promised a crit. So here we go. (Okay, if you read this and are totally lost, that is because you haven't reread chapters four and five. They are ...

    Nov 12, 2009
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Just another bit of another story....

    hey guys, :) this is just a random section in a story I am TRYING (note trying) to write, I find stories really difficult, and as you'll probably notice I ...

    Nov 11, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Wire Hearts and Paper Dreams (2)

    My corrections are the bold, black words. This is going to be a little short because I don't have too much time on my hands. Note: I'm only going to ...

    Nov 8, 2009
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: katy lost her virginity yesterday

    Okay, so this is a line-by-line critique of this story. It may get a little repetitive because of the punctuation corrections. First post!! I've done my two reviews as due, ...

    Nov 7, 2009


I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do.
— Leonardo da Vinci