Pinkratgirl

I like your username lol. (And I apologize in advance if I'm a bit harsh, I don't mean to be.) I'm getting chills already omg That's a lot of roses ...

Hello! I’m here to review your work! It sounds interesting so let’s begin! “Pacifique.” That’s French for Pacific, yes? That makes this piece: “…discovered the Pacifique continent sittin

Hello! I’m here to review this chapter! Before I start, I’d just like you to know that I have no read any other chapters and have no idea what this ...

Orphanages rarely ever just have one person of a gender. And if they do they usually just send them away to an all-girls/boys orphanage. What’s a Gorgon? If he’s as ...

You should tone it down on the western slang. In some parts of the dialog the slang doesn’t even make sense. “I sit in the dining room staring out the ...

If possible, don’t tell the reader about what her father does until later in the story. It keeps them interested! “my father used to kill the victims he took in” ...

Wow! This is amazing! I love the amount of detail you put into it! Especially when describing the smoke. The only thing I thing I think you could fix is ...

Hello! Person with severe anxiety here! The whole thing about not recognizing her own reflection seems more like a psychotic symptom (personality disorders, schizophrenia, etc.) than an anxiety induce

In my person opinion, you are giving too much information inside the first paragraph. You should make the reader wonder why he was being kicked out and what he wanted ...

“The night was cool as the wind blew through the tall mans short hair.” You are using a lot of adjectives in just this one sentence; I suggest you remove ...

In the future, make the chapter a little shorter or split them into two separate posts, that way it’s shorter so more people want to read and review on it! ...

“…know how running at could…” I don’t understand what you’re trying to say here. “No. I can’t…” I think the period should be a comma. “Megan reasoned. “We’ll just…” If ...

“is it all a threat?” This sounds a little too short. Maybe put “is it all just a threat”? “A shining light to bright.” I think you mean “too” instead ...

This was a good chapter but it felt rushed. I think you could expand upon somethings. Perhaps you could make Chris a little hesitant to run away with her? Or ...

“The moonlight that night were like an estranged friend,” I think you meant “was” instead of “were.” “the neon green Monster.Inc rug” This didn’t really fit in with the theme ...