Picklesole

Hello there again! I like how you're giving background information on Leti, though you've seemed to have forgotten to give him a physical description and age, unless that was in ...

Hello! So I assume you are a fan of Les Miserables, or knowledgeable of the French Revolution. Either way, I like that you've written a poem about it, I really ...

Hey there! So I like the story, though some revisions could be made, but I think they were already mentioned. Just watch out for run on sentences, those can be ...

Hey there! So I really like the beginning, and all the imagery and metaphors and whatnot (I'm a big believer in the metaphor) so yeah. I think it's very interesting ...

Hey there! I love this whole idea, and the excitement of it all. I'll try to read the chapters you've already posted soon, I'm anxious to see who the story ...

Hey there! So I like the idea, this could definitely turn into a great novel. (I also am in love with Irish names and their language so I got a ...

Your poem is kind of adorable, so I really don't have much to say. I like the way you used italics at the end and a little at the beginning ...

Hey there! I agree with the others that it could use some elaboration, but maybe not here, if that makes sense. I think you should definitely turn this into a ...

Hey there! I love the subject of your poem, you illuminated (hehe) the often forgotten simple beauties of things such as candles, and personified it. Personally I think those are ...

This is more of an emotional statement than a poem, since a poem is defined by having one or more stanzas, which is defined by having two or more lines. ...

Hey there! I like the idea, I'm excited to read more! I like how you began, as well. It gives you an idea of what the soldiers fighting are thinking ...

Quite a scene you've set, it's awesome. I like how you introduced characters before they died, not a lot of people go into that much depth. It really shows the ...

I like the fact that it is so short, and how it all seemed detached from any real emotions. I understand why aqua1213 would want more melancholy wording, but I ...

Hey there! So I have a few things that I noticed. 1)In the very first line, I think you should drop "they" so it makes it flow more. 2)I don't ...

Hey there, welcome to YWS! :) I agree with murtuza that the poem should be formatted a little differently, but I also agree that it's your decision on how you ...