PhoenixBishop

:D Hey I'll be reviewing your piece today. Prologue The darkness chased me, following my every step, staying one step behind me. Cut out the staying one step behind me. ...

For a fourth time, light is seen. The sparks, the seeds of the light, have burst into a steady glow….. a small, frail, flickering thing… but spirited, all the same, ...

I'll be your reviewer for today. He should know me better; give me better credit then that. I guess I’m just another one of his girl’s, one that he can ...

Moonlight was shining up ahead where another alley crossed. You used Moonlight and shining before come up with a different way of describing the Moon light. For example -A small ...

“Courtney, this is going to be awesome! I still can’t believe that you actually got tickets!” We jumped in and set off for the concert. Courtney and I were going ...

This was much better and for that reason I have little to say. Mention them all wearing black in the first paragraph instead of putting it in parenthesis in the ...

Bone watched Almond’s shoes disappear through the window, and started climbing. She hoisted herself through the opening and looked around the room. It was completely silent, except for the sound ...

I think it about time i review something of yours. Ok first off it's very interesting that you start off in second person. I've never seen that before. Is there ...

It snowed one winter. Quite an unusual year that turned out to be, for it never snows in Kniver Where is Kniver That, depending on who you were, could take ...

I think it was really good. As a song what kind of accompaniment do you use for it. As it's written I say you have to be careful on how ...

I have to disagree. Some of the names are just plain ridicules. Besides that small problem I liked it. A very intersting idea with the new village, and a ninja ...

My only complaint is the last and first pargraph. It is true repetition is good for poetry, but I think this is just too much repetition. For a second I ...

This was really good. I liked how he didn't show, but told what happened. My inly real comment is the fact that you didn't captilize your I's in a few ...

Note: As much as I hate putting up another piece of work when chapter 1 has no reviews, I am hoping that those who have read it are pondering their ...

I sighed and opened my eyes, looking up at the canopy of jade leaves above me. “Of all the assassins picked to kill him, it would have to be me ...