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Re: The Ice Queen Chapter 9
Hi, Dragon! I'm back with a working laptop and ready to review. I'm a bit split on this chapter, but I'll open by saying that your writing style has markedly ...
Sep 1, 2017 -
Re: Presents
Hi, RadicalCarrot. I love your name! I'm Pan, and I'll be reviewing your work today. Regrettably, I've never read To Kill a Mocking Bird, so I'm just going to be ...
Aug 27, 2017 -
Re: Coming-Of-Age
Hi, KayLou1609! Pan here to review today. I don't often review poetry but I thought I'd shake things up today. I like the poem, I like the subject matter, and ...
Aug 27, 2017 -
Re: Chapter 3.1: Ilami
Hi, Lightsong. Back again. Good to see Ilami again. I'm glad to see you've aged her up a bit, because I think that fits better with her attitude and behaviour. ...
Aug 25, 2017 -
Re: Chapter 2.2: Gael
Hi, Lightsong. I'm catching up! Like the first part of the chapter, I really enjoyed this - possibly more so than the first half, given the intriguing section at the ...
Aug 24, 2017 -
Re: Chapter 2.1: Gael
Hi, Lightsong. Back again. This is probably my favourite segment so far. There's still a lot of nitpicks and grammar bits to work on, but it's a nice introduction to ...
Aug 24, 2017 -
Re: Chapter 1.2: Ilami
Hi, Lightsong! I saw you'd been looking for reviews for your novel so I thought I'd pop in. I've read the first half of the chapter as well, so I'm ...
Aug 23, 2017 -
Re: Chapter 2
Hi, Irislillygray! I'm Pan. I read chapter one of this story a little while ago but never got around to doing a review, so I thought I'd pop in to ...
Aug 22, 2017 -
Re: Dreams
Hi, RainaDee. Welcome to YWS! I'm Pan and I'll be frying up a review for you today. First Impressions I love the sentiment of this story. It's a sweet little ...
Aug 19, 2017 -
Re: The Children of Zeus (The End of Chapter 1 and The beginning of Chapter 2)
Hi, Shae! Back again, as promised. There's some nice writing in this chapter. It's poignant, and you've done well to capture Ever's sadness - and not just the sadness, but ...
Aug 18, 2017 -
Re: Children of Zeus
Hi, Shea! Back again. This definitely improves on the first instalment. There's more action and interaction, and the conclusion is dramatic and hard-hitting (if a little expected, given how you ...
Aug 17, 2017 -
Re: Chapter One (TMBB Werewolf)
Hi, Bailey! So, first of all: this is great ! I'm guessing this is a revised opening to the story? It feels like an altered version of chapter three, but ...
Aug 17, 2017 -
Re: The Children of Zeus
Hi, Sheadun! Pan here to fry up a review. First Impressions You're clearly a fluent and capable writer. Your style is simple but accessible, easy to read and decently paced. ...
Aug 16, 2017 -
Re: A Good Man
Hi, mb1221! That was a rather interesting read. Positives first: you've got a nice, simple writing style which is accessible and easy to read. Your grasp of grammar is good ...
Aug 15, 2017 -
Re: The Perfect Evening
Hi, Fox. I hope you're settling in nicely to YWS! I'm Pan and I'll be frying up a review for you today. I'll start with the positives. You've got a ...
Aug 14, 2017
