PandaAiKorai

It is about giving everything that you can give. They go out of their way to change other... You mainly have slight issues that need to be read over, nothing ...

I was going to point out a few minor errors, but it looks like some people took care of that for me. But I have a comment. And people might ...

My favorite line, which I'm sure you've heard more than once: Everyone you thought you loved, and everyone you thought you trusted, turned around to stab you, with a knife ...

No sarcasm? I guess this is your way to change the plot from one setting to another. Very idealistic. It seems Chance is building up a party; very ideal in ...

Very humorous dialogue! I enjoyed this story entirely, it gave a much more clear view on Ryder's role before he'd been thrust into the air, haha! I like how Jot ...

Not a lot of grammatical errors, honestly. And it seems that the first commenter did just that for me anyway. However, I would like to ask some questions that you ...

I like to nit-pick before reviewing the piece as a whole. Here a some problems that slowed me down while reading: ...salt filled air filling her lungs... Replace "salt filled" ...

the motion behind the pen, the heartbeat inside my fingertips, and my fingertips beneath your chin that matters in the end. This is absolutely my favorite line. This poem was ...

One VERY large error that sticks out like a sore thumb, hon: It seems as though your thoughts are the same as mine, It's not huge, but, of course, it's ...

Ah, referring to the serial killer in the point of view of the little sister. This seems like a cynical version of the storyline, haha. I liked this a lot. ...

I'm going to assume this is about utter heartbreak taking its toll. Very sad, yet very easy to relate. Trust me. I suggest making this into a poem. My compass ...

HA! This was most amusing, I must say! Kept me smiling throughout the whole piece, especially with the consistent mention of Dr. Suess, very nice. Usually, I have little nitpicks ...

This line loses its ring, since it's more slant rhyme: Still [/b]I try to find out why I said yes. But the answer to this i never get. How about ...

You use the word "place" too often in one area of the story. ...sticking out my forked tongue to catch the odors and chemistry of the place. Cozy place; one ...

D'aww! That is too sweet. There's a whole level of intimacy being displayed here than that of the other couple described. I can relate to that, since I've been with ...