Broken heart

ehte92 wrote:Even today when I listen to those songs
it brings in old memories along.
Those meetings, those calls.
Were they false or had any meaning at all? How about just "did they have any meaning at all?"

Still I try to find out why I said yes.
But the answer to this I never get. Okay, "get" and "yes" rhyme about just as much as "scary" and "llama." How about "still I try to squelch my distress." That's what I just came up with on the spot, so I have no doubt you can think up something better.
But one thing is sure, Unless you take that last advice, these two lines both end in "but."
that there is something more.
There are some questions which are still unanswered.
There are some feelings which are still unexpressed.
There is a deep sorrow which that can't be addressed.

Was it real or just a prank? "Prank" kind of ruins the feeling.
Thinking this my heart sank.
But as the time passes by
my bleeding heart wants to run away. "Away" and "by" don't really rhyme.
Leaving the mysteries unsolved
I try to live as happy as all! "As all?" Huh?

this is a nice poem I think. There is feeling and that's great. Heartbreak is a terribly emotion and like the first commentator said I feel this is a poem that many can relate to.
good job!

I really like it,I don't think it needs any change.Bravo:D

I agree with everyone, it's very good. (I got it to work, so I can comment!) I really liked it, really awesome. Good job! "India, India, India!" - The Master of Disguise

I like this, though I do have a suggestion.

Even today when I listen to those songsit brings in old memories along.
I think it would flow a bit better here if you changed "today" to "now". but that's just me.

This line loses its ring, since it's more slant rhyme:

Still [/b]I try to find out why I said yes.
But the answer to this i never get.

There are some questions which are unanswered.
There are some feeling which are still unexpressed.
There is a deep sorrow which can't be addressed.

I like this, its quite beautiful. Makes me smile
The structure is nice and simplistic making it something easy to follow and capturing for the reader.
I also liked the rythmic appeal of it though this could be developed I think to make it slightly stronger and entice a greater reader.
I especially liked:

But one thing is sure
that there is something more.

I really like this poem and can relate to the author's feelings.
Just remember to start every line of the poem with a capital letter.
There isn't much else for me to say about this one except well done

Even today when I listen to those songs

it brings in old memories along.

Were they false or had any meaning at all?

Still I try to find out why I said yes,
but the answer to this I never get.
But one thing is sure,

There are some feelings which are still unexpressed.

But as the time passes by,
my bleeding heart wants to run away.
Leaving the mysteries unsolved
I try to live as happy as all!