Published February 6, 2011
Once again, like every day I’m in this class, I find myself repulsed.
The two boys in the back will not stop with their touching. Again. They caress. They stroke. They squeeze and…oh, good Lord.
One of the guys just touched his boyfriend’s crotch. Could you get any more inappropriate?
The irony is that those very intimate people were screaming at each other in the cafeteria yesterday. The drama was splashed onto the internet too, with both boys switching their relationship statuses to “it’s complicated”.
Well, it doesn’t look complicated now.
But when I think of relationships, naturally I think of him. He feels my stare, and looks at me. He smiles. He’s beautiful, as always. Even though he always protests he doesn’t look good, I find myself so, so unbelievably lucky to find a boy who’s beautiful inside and out.
“You okay?” he mouths at me. I nod, feeling the grin on my face hurt my cheeks.
We’re not listed as being in a relationship with each other on Facebook. It’s not as though people would have a problem with a second gay couple. I’d just feel so much like an attention whore. Love should be cherished, not put on display.
We’ve never fought at a level where we scream at each other. We never touch each other intimately in public. The biggest fight we had was when my dad had died, and I’d refused to open up to him. Eventually, after a 24-hour period, I found myself in his arms, laughing/crying as I recounted fond memories.
The other couple has been together for two months. We’ve been together two years. And I still love him as much as I did the day we met each other.
The bell rings. He stops at my desk as I’m packing up. He’s taking my backpack, carrying my load as well as his own. We have the next class together. We do not hold hands. We just cherish the feeling of being with each other.
They kiss as soon as they get out of the classroom.
We walk away from the classroom.
And I let the smile on my face say it all.
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140,755 Literary Works • 673,687 Reviews
I love this piece I can really relate! Because I hate PDA too. This was cute. A little short. But it was cute. Keep writing!!
I love how you contrasted the two couples in this, it was an adorable comparison. The humor in the fifth line is perfect too. I can totally relate to your narrator. I'm in a similar situation with my girlfriend, though it's more complicated than just mutual disgust at super-public relationships.
However, I have to agree with other reviewers in that the story seems a bit too brief. While that was probably the intention, I think the relationship could be a bit more fleshed out. Just a tad.
As for stylistically, some parts were a little stiff. "We do not hold hands" sounds incredibly weird coming from a teenager, especially one that uses other contractions such as "He's" and "It's." Also, in the last few lines, you use "the classroom" twice in a row, which of course sounds weird. Try taking it out one time?
Overall, I loved it!
i really love this story, it displays a high school stereotype that i hate, and one i love. The PDA couple, and the cute, quiet couple. I really enjoyed it. I felt like i could relate to it, while i'm not gay or in a relationship. I understood where the MC was coming from.
Wow I loved this
It had a great sensitivity to it and I loved the way you just casually got round to explaining that you were another couple, instead of just saying it.
Maybe you could have put some more detail into it, but then it might lose some of it's simplistic beauty, so I guess it all depends on how you want it to appear to the reader. Either way works for me
Over all, a great and touching story
Hello there.
Okay, I'm not sure about this... It seems weird, but it might be just me. If it is just me, then ignore it all.I love the ending, it's so sweet! It would be awesome to have a little more substance, but I also think you managed to put just the right information in there to make it interesting and enjoyable at the same time. I don't have anything else to
say.... You've got me speechless here.
-Other One
D'aww! That is too sweet. There's a whole level of intimacy being displayed here than that of the other couple described. I can relate to that, since I've been with my own boyfriend for over two years- wait, scratch that, FIANCE, ahaha! I'm so glad that you shared this, I'm going to bother my man now, haha!
Oh, by the way, I must point out my favorite line is the absolute last:
Hey Ross, I'll do a quick one before I go off to watch football.
I didn't expect your piece to be so short!
I would've liked more development on the relationship of the MC, because the briefness of the piece gave the feeling of it lacking enough depth in that area.
However, I really like the idea you have here. This forum is bound to have many cliched scenarios to write about, but you've managed to bring unique perspective into your story. Kudos for that, it was refreshing.
Have a good day!
Meep(: