Young Writers Society

wow this is really good! I enjoyed it it was very interesting.

This was one of the most moving and strongest pieces I have read in a long time. I'm not really going to review in though because I can see so many others have nick picked it already. The longer it went on, the more intense this story became. It sent chills throughout my body and the ending was just so heartbreaking. You did such a wonderful job and I must say your piece is one of my personal favorites now. :] When it comes to abortion though, I see both sides of the story. Something I usually do on a larger subject. I see the good and bad in everything, so I become a neutralized. It happens to me often in school. Abortion, yes, is bad on a larger scale. it harms a woman physically and mental like you have told in your short story. But it, you also gave a point why it helps. It's not the child's fault for the rape or unwanted pregnancy, but somethings aren't meant to be. Sometimes you have to know your limits and a child can through things off balance. I'm sorry to say but if I were raped and became pregnant, I would choose to abort the child in fear that I might not love him/her as much and the he/she would remind me daily of what happened to me, even though I would remember trauma like that for the rest of my life. It would become a more mentally hurtful part of my life that I couldn't push away. It seems horrible I know, but that is how I see it. But we never know till it happens and knock on wood that it never does!

Wow...this was just amazing ! I could feel the girl's pain. Everything she went through. I loved the way you let the reader feel the emotion of the characters in the story. It would have been good with some more details, if not, perfect story. Truly interesting, It made me wanna keep reading till the end.

Amazing, also moving. I loved it. It was all-out beautiful. Everything was so simple, it hooked me. I read it in just over a minute, I'm guessing. You did a fantastic job! I'm gonna read as much from you as I can.

I think the concept of the story is great and I really like the part about Elliot. But there are a few aspects that I'm not absolutely sold on. One would be that it sounds too much like a story. There isn't enough emotion in it, not enough to sell the reader completely. You're writing is good, but its just a fraction away from being great and to reach that you must have emotion. Readers don't want to be told something, they want to experience it, roll in it. Especially at the part about the father's reaction. I know that if it were my dad.... he'd have the most somber look in his eyes, he'd have no idea what to do or say... he'd be angry and sad and grief stricken. You need to put yourself inside the story even more. Bring out emotions that you yourself might be afraid to feel. It is truly a great story and I love love love the concept, just give it a little bit more. I do hope that you don't take this as harsh criticism, hopefully it's constructive

I think the story and the message you tried getting through was pretty clear. Lots of reviewers before me had already mentioned that. I understood the plot and the theme although some of the parts ( giving birth to the baby, the crash, the murder of Michael, etc...) were disjointed and not fully developed. Although this crucial moments of the story were not detailed or full of any emotions, the whole thing was powerful and gut-wrenching. Think what you could have achieved if you had expanded more of the emotional parts. A masterpiece? A great story? To me, this was good but not the best. I felt the story is crying out to be expanded and full fledged. It was just to short and no emotions for the reader to feel.

Your writing style was a bit boring I have to say. (Please forgive me==) You kept telling us instead of showing us WHAT was happening. I learned this lesson the hard way. I hoped that you'll keep getting better at showing us and not telling. Just like what Sargsauce said, don't tell. SHOW. It will be bland and dull if you keep telling people the story as a matter-of-fact kind of way. You need to give them hints and clues to what the characters felt or will do. It will make your story more interesting and gripping. This will be kinda hard than telling the story like a robot but it will make you a wonderful writer for all to adore.

I loved the concept of the moral lessons and theme. I'm also against abortion. Wonderful and please continue writing. I'll follow you here, don't disappoint me!

P.S. I tend to review the weakspots of your story than the strengths. Because I believe most people know what they're good at. People will only know and notice their weaknesses only if you tell them. So, forgive me if I'm too harsh. Cheers!^^

You seemed to have skipped developing a realistic story and strong characters, and gone straight to preaching to us instead. It's obvious the whole purpose of this story was to give us your anti-abortion message. I don't have a problem with this message if it's what you truly believe in, but there's no reason to sacrifice good writing.

The story was all tell and no show. I didn't get a sense of the characters' personalities at all. It would have been better to explain her emotions and explore her story-it doesn't seem that she feels sorry for the abortion until her child's death in a car crash, at which time she makes a huge leap of logic and decides the two actions are connected. And because I don't know anything about her personality, I don't pity her at all. And because I don't pity her, it doesn't influence my beliefs about abortion.

The biggest problem I have with this is that you seem to have no understanding of incredibly controversial and emotional subjects. Your explanation of the rape and it's aftermath is basically 'and then I got raped.' She fell in love at thirteen. She fell in love at thirteen with someone who raped her. Her father killed someone. Her father killed the person who raped her. Her father went to jail for killing the person who raped her. None of this seems to affect her.

I guess I'm saying a story like this should be moving, but it wasn't.

OMG!!! I finally read the story and I'm crying as I write this and I can totally relate. I was raped too myself, but luckily i never got pregnant behind it. This was a very touching story. I'm glad I actually sat down to read it all. Keep Writing!!

Well this was a good peice. I loved the way you ended it. the whole baby dying thing was a good twist, but the last line was perfect I think.
Always- Writer

I've never read anything so real,simple wording but such deep(im talking,abyss deep)meaning,if i could i'd go after Michael in the the afer life and whoop his ass and then take him to jerry springer and do it again (legally).Impeccable writing i didn't notice any errors by the way.(Essence over flaws)

This piece was interesting, but it wasn't spectacular. You were brave to write about something as controversial as abortion, but I don't think you gave it all the emotion it deserved. It felt like you were preaching to me instead of helping me understand the pain that goes along with rape and abortion. I personally don't like abortion, but I don't think anyone should tell a woman she must give birth to a child she does not want, and certainly not that any child she conceives afterward will be killed by God as penance. I believe a mother's needs should be put above her unborn fetus's. Can you imagine if she had given birth to the child and put it up for adoption and then the child later finds out that it was conceived from rape? I think using rape as the reason for abortion was not a good idea for a piece that is anti-abortion.

MY GOODNESS, very powerful. The person in front of me obviously can't gage emotion. Very Hemingway-esque, which is something I'm seeing alot of on this sight....

emotionally powerful, I like the detatchment of the narrator, as if nothing matters.

I'm anti-abotion, but that's not why I liked this story, it is very good.

There are a good many grammar points that others have already touched on that I'm sure you'll catch just by re-reading closely...very good.

Fantastic job! I did a super gasp when I came to then ending. It's so sad that thing like this do happen in the real world. It reminds me of a quote i read once...for every humans life you take away, it's your loved ones who have to pay. (yes it was a horror novel lol.) very moving! I loved it!

If you're going to write a story that involves subjects that are so incredibly emotional for so many people, I feel you have to have a strong understanding of what you're writing about. What came across to me reading this is that that simply isn't the case.

To write about a child dying in 'penance' for the fact that another child has been aborted by the same mother - that message is seriously horrifying. Like, truly. It's not moving, it's not emotive in the sense I believe you were aiming for - it's just absurdly cruel. Any mother who believed that her abortion resulted in the untimely death of her child would be someone who needed immediate psychiatric help.

Furthermore, I do think that people should write about things they have a true understanding of, and to write with more than just a belief that what they write about is 'right'. I found a lot of this story to be under explored and biased. Her rape, the murder of the boy she loved by her own father (whether or not she hated him after her rape, I think to pass so blithely over his murder is to completely misunderstand and underestimate the breadth of emotion implicit in such an event) - those are both stories in themselves. This felt more like a piece of poorly written and hugely uninformative anti-abortion propaganda then a real exploration of an extremely young girl's rape and her choice to undergo an abortion.

These are serious topics that deserve and demand attention. But that attention is not given here. I suggest you scrap this and write about what you feel, not what you think is the right way for others to feel.

Wow this story was just amazing. Enjoyed it completely! Has immense potential! The story line was great, and the climax, GREAT! I can see this as an unbelievable novel with the right effort. you could simply start this by just adding to every main detail, and just keep expanding. trust me within months you'll have chapters down! Try it.

I was going to point out a few minor errors, but it looks like some people took care of that for me.

But I have a comment. And people might not like it so much.

When a person is raped, they feel disgusted with themselves for allowing the event to happen. They blame themselves. They completely lose themselves. I've met a couple of victims myself, and know that this story is completely unrealistic. Very creative, very captivating, but wrong. If you're going to write a story about a young girl, thirteen, who's lost everything, including her innocence, you need to be accurate with her emotions. All you're talking about, mainly, is what's going on around her, the external. The internal turmoil she's (supposed to) feel doesn't even exist. Not really.

You have a basis for an AMAZING story. But, honestly, if you're going to get into a topic like this- abortion, rape (of a minor)- you need to do a little research.

~Panda;;

First off, congrats on successfully writing about an extremely touchy subject, and doing it without being crude. Personally, while I don't condone using abortion as a form of birth control, I do think it can be beneficial to rape victims and women who cannot successfully carry a fetus to term without endangering their lives. Also, I feel like you are saying that if a woman gets an abortion, she's going to pay for it later in life by losing a living child, which is preposterous. Your character obviously felt that she was now paying for her abortion, but i think maybe with different phrasing and a little more detail about her emotions, it would come off that way instead of sounding preachy. Also, how did she get home after being left in gutter? usually rape victims don't tell anyone, and it can cause a lot of emotional turmoil that I didn't see in the story. So, overall, great story, but just needs a little more attention to detail.

You can't see me but my mouth is hanging open in shock. That was amazing. *LIKES*

Wow. This piece was beautiful. It was very moving and emotional. The description in here was great, the emotion right there, just everything. Wow. I'm in shock. You're piece really got me thinking. Honestly, I don't know what my opinion on abortion is now. This was great.

Wow, This is one of the most powerful things i have read in a long while. I was truly moved, great job!

Hey Purple! I'm only reviewing this because I feel strongly about the subject. Otherwise, I am currently working on a persuasive essay and probably shouldn't be on the Interwebs at all.

Anyways.

I'm going to start out by applauding your idea to write a story anti-abortion. But, as others have said before me, the anti-abortion feelings in this story aren't exactly prominent.

Here are some things I'd like to mention:

I'm confused by how she isn't scarred for life by the rape. It was apparently a violent rape (not like "Ah, you just punched me in the face!" but more forceful). He overtook her. He stole her virginity. And I've heard (I don't actually know for myself...) that sex hurts the first time, and probably a few times after that. I would assume it would hurt especially at such a young age because she's not completely developed. There are other reasons for why she should be traumatized, why she should be cringing away from boys for years after, possibly self-harming, but I'd like to leave that to your imagination.

Consider the different forms of abortion, and what actually happens at abortion clinics. If you don't know about them, I don't know how reliable Google is, but I'd gladly PM you about them. How can a thirteen year old girl NOT be scarred for life by experiencing that?

I don't know the exact statistics, but I know that abortion can make you infertile, and it also increases the chances of complications for future children. There is a higher chance of having a physically or mentally handicapped child after having an abortion. I think one of these consequences would be a more realistic "punishment" than getting hit by a truck on the way home from the hospital.

Not enough feelings. Blah blah blah. Need more feelings. Yada yada yada. Things other people already said. Fufufu.

I hope I got you thinking, and I hope you consider making changes to make this piece more heart-wrenching. It really has potential. Good job thus far, and keep writing! That is all. Feel free to PM if you have any questions or feel like chewing me out.

Damn!!! I only read the ending because I am short on time but now i'm really going to have to go read the rest of it. Great job!!! Wow!! I can't really nitpick right now but i will. and just a little side note: No one is actual for aborition. It is pro-life and pro-choice. Pro-lifers, well they believe it is the right of the baby to live regardless of how they came to be. and pro-choicers they believe it is the right of the woman to choose to birth a child or not, because it is the woman's body. Basically. Thats the rough and to the point explination. Other than that, great job. Keep writing!!

I must say, I'm absolutely stunned. If I'm not crying now, I'm sure I will my second read through. This, was one powerful impact of a story. A truth, that lies in so many girls out there, it's even more of a heart brake to know it's not just happening to one, but thousands. Perhaps even millions of young girls in the world. The very images that came to mind while reading this, were far too much to conceive for me. I suppose it may be that I myself am in a relationship with a girl younger than myself, my being 18 and her 14. But we just yesterday celebrated our first year anniversary. I couldn't live with myself had i ever laid a finger on her with such foul intentions. But reading this, it made me imagine.. What if my Alexis.. ended up like Catherine? What if I weren't so lucky, and I wasn't the one with her? If she were with a "Michael"? I couldn't bear with myself.

This young girl, lost two children, a father, likely the respect of even her mother. And her innocence. Eliot, was a miracle that was born almost as a sacrifice for a mistake made in pure ignorant youth. To feel that loss settle in only so long after his birth, is something so hard to imagine for us. The power of something so common in daily life, shows us all how serious life can be for girls and women of this age. Most men look at women with nothing but lust and sick twisted intent.. It's things like that that make people realize. Stories like these.. that make us all remember just what's out there. Thank you, for re-enlightening all of your readers of the reality that people endure out there. This is one very well done written piece.

Heyo Purple,

I'm moved by this not only because I've dated many girls who have been raped, but also because I'm the father of a brand-new little girl, and my wife and I have previously considered abortion; thank God it was not necessary. I usually try to focus on technical aspects of prose to the exclusion of everything else, but the rawness of this and the topic jars me. And many parts are quite well-written.

The point I'd make though before anything else is that you should forget about penance. You made the decisions you made... and maybe having an infant son pass away IS a lesson, but don't assume that you are being punished for aborting a child who was sent into your live violently and against your will.

And let's say the lesson is equanimity... meaning something like "each person is born with his own predispositions and temperaments, and if I was born that person, I would act and do exactly as that person does." I think that's the lesson your experiences with the two infants is driving at. HOWEVER....

You are, just like the truck is, an instrument of God's will. If you rightly felt violated when you were raped, then a child born of that rape is easy to understand as further violation. Ultimately you never chose to have a baby, and what's more, that boy who raped you never had to carry and deliver that aborted child. Hence it would have been pure unfairness if you had delivered that child... and I think you made the right choice.

If you'd like me to send you a technical commentary on some of your first paragraphs, I can... But, I think the important issue is jusictice... and you never asked for that child... The culpability for the aborted child's death (if you want to call it a death, and perhaps you do) lies not with you, but with the boy who raped you.

Anyway, harrowing words, Purple...

This had me in tears at the end. It was such a powerful story and something I really agree with.
You are an amazing writer.

Hello, I'm Jojo and I shall be your reviewer for today!
*bites*

My dad found Michal on his second day of searching. I’m still not sure how my dad managed to track Michal down. He’d never heard of him before. He didn’t even know what he looked like. I guess nothing can stand in the way of an enraged father. Anyway, as soon as my dad found Michal he shot him right between the eyes. The trial didn’t take long. Apparently, the judge had two or three daughters of his own. I guess he took pity on my dad. Maybe he felt like he would’ve done the same thing in my dad’s shoes. He gave my dad the minimum sentence. Twelve years in prison with no chance of parole until the eighth year.

About a week or two after I was raped, I decided to take a pregnancy test, just to be safe. It came back positive. As you can probably imagine, I was terrified. I was only thirteen. I didn’t know how to take care of a baby. I had my whole life ahead of me. I had a bright and shining future to look forward to. I didn’t want some unwanted baby to come in and ruin that. Besides, I knew I wouldn’t have been a good mother to that child. That baby wasn’t conceived out of love. It was conceived by a cruel and hateful act, and I knew I would never be able to look at it without hating it. I knew I couldn’t love it like a mother should love her child.

This is a REALLY good story, there isn't much to improve that other people have not already pointed out. (: So good job!
-pghpenguins

Wow. This is so good! It was really sad and powerful. There was just so many things that were happening. I could really sympathize with the girl. Amazing story, I love it! <3

This was very emotional. I loved it and I myself am against abortion so I liked the way you focused on it.

Needless to say, when my father found out what #FF0000 ">Michal had done to me, he was mad.

My dad found #FF0000 ">Michal on his second day of searching. I’m still not sure how my dad managed to track #FF0000 ">Michal down.

Shall I be the devil's advocate? Shall I be the crabby old guy? I guess I will.

On the plus side, there's little to nothing wrong with your spelling, grammar, and syntax.

On the down side, the writing is flat and preachy (not in a religious sense, I understand that might be what one may think in this context).

Characterization is flat. This is what we understand about the characters:
Narrator: naive
Michael: sexual harasser
Father: reacts passionately
Mother: nothing
Breath more life into them!

The whole story is told in summary, as if the narrator herself is disinterested in the topic. There is no feeling and no emotion. There are two ways to fix that.
1) Slow down. Don't rush through your action, linger on the feeling. Don't be so matter-of-fact
Examples:

Anyway, as soon as my dad found Michal he shot him right between the eyes.

As you can probably imagine, I was terrified.

I didn’t want some unwanted baby to come in and ruin that.

I was on my way to the hospital to give birth to my baby boy. He was born shortly after we reached the hospital.

We were pretty beaten up, but we eventually came out okay. Eliot wasn't so lucky. The impact was too much for his little body to take.

He was a monster-a big, scary, out of control monster

Needless to say, when my father found out what Michal had done to me, he was mad. No, he was furious. I don’t even know if that is strong enough of a word to describe what he was.

What I felt for him wasn’t love. It was infatuation, lust.

Every thing I did hurt. It hurt to eat, it hurt to drink, it hurt to breathe; It hurt to live.

It was strange to think that it would have been doing the same thing Eliot was doing, had I decided to let it be born. It would have slept in my arms just like Eliot, it's hand would have clutched my finger just like Eliot’s. It would have grown up to be a person just like Eliot.

It wasn't until I was over the shock that I realized something. I was finally paying the price for my aborted child.

Wow, that's amazing. Really effective and realistic.

Wow that story just about took my breath away. I could definetly feel the emotion coming through it and overall I thought it was amazing:) It really is something that other people can relate to. Keep writing

Hi there! First of all, congrats on the featured work! Realistic works like this deserve to get featured! Well, maybe, not all lol. Anyway...

Nitpicks:

I met Michal the summer after seventh grade.

I know, I was pretty young wasn’t I?

He was seventeen and I was only thirteen.

Pretty self explanatory isn’t it?

I remember that night perfectly. The night he stole away my innocence, the night he raped me.

He wasn’t the Michal I knew anymore.

He was a monster. A big, scary, out of control monster that I didn’t stand a chance of protecting myself against.

Trust me I tried.

...but all it did was make me more and more weak.

...like I was some piece trash.

I don’t even know if that is strong enough a word to describe what he was.

...my father grabbed his state issued gun...

It was a conceived by a cruel and hateful act...

...who we decided to name Eliot.

My husband was down stairs...

...had long since left to give us some well needed rest.

He looked so innocent with his little hand wrapped around my finger. So ignorant of the cruel world outside his mother’s arms.

...and to only look forward to the bright future a head.

It was raining so hard my husband could hardly see the road.

All of a sudden, a huge pick up truck...

...came out of no where and hit us head on.

My husband and family did every thing they could to try to make it better.They would say things like "It wasn't our fault Cathrine."

Every thing I did hurt.

...it hurt to breath...

It wasn't untill I was over the shock that I relized something.

Hey purple. This was really good, and there isn't much you can improve on. I liked how you showed your characters. I feel like I knew them. I also liked your writing style; it was superb and it really added to your main character's personality.

One thing that might improve this is a few more details. It seems like you just skim over a few things like her father going to jail. That is no small thing. You didn't really say how she felt about it. I also am left wondering how the friend reacted when she found out, the one that introduced them. Or if the girl told anyone. Did her husband know? I also don't know how she got home from the gutter he left her in. How did she feel about guys after the rape? Yes, she moved on, but there still would be feelings there she couldn't get rid of.

I would read over the story and look for more details you could add. One more nitpick that I have is the fact that you said she didn't feel guilty for it. The fact is that most people do feel guilty, and there would be reason for her to feel guilty. She was the one who hung out with him right? I'm not saying it actually would have been her fault, but I am saying she probably would have thought it was.

Overall I really liked this. I am writing a novel and my main character was raped by her dad as a child. This is mostly just part of her personality in my novel, but this was still really interesting to read. I always like to see how different people tell about all the feelings that some one who is raped goes through.

I hope I helped,

A. S.

I loved this story. It was nice, and touching, and I could feel her pain! She must have felt awful!

I just read the ending because I was short on time, and wow, it makes me really want to read the full thing. Hopefully I'll remember to later. The ending by itself was just amazing. I cried just reading that. Totally unexpected, especially with my current thoughts on the rest of the story. Its abrupt, hits you like a giant hammer, smack into the face. It swipes you from your feet and just makes you wanna' get up and live, in my opinion. Never kill life.

<3 It!

Reading the ending hasn't depressed me at all, to say. It has actually made me happy and probably subconsciously altered my thoughts and philosophies. Good work and keep it up!

For review terms: The title does catch you off guard and do what a title should, but any big company would make the mistake of wanting to change it.

--Skis

PS: I just noticed how not 100-percent-terrible my review is(regardless if it's good/great), but that just goes to show how powerful the ending was.

Oh my word.... This is amazing. The ending, just kind of came out of nowhere. When the father shot Michal, I thought that was the charcter death you were talking about! I'm very much against abortion, and the way you told this story.. well it kind of it all veiw points in a way. Awesome job, really.

I agree with the other people, I loved this piece of writing it was really beautiful and the reasoning in it made sense especially when talking about such a touchy topic. Great Job!!

My mother would be proud.

I didn't notice any errors that weren't pointed out by anyone else. A very well written piece of work. I wanna hug Eliot.

purplepen wrote:#8000BF ">WARNING! This story contains violence, rape, character death, and abortion. Also, this story is against abortion, so if you are for abortion, you may find it to be a little offensive.

My Aborted Child

I met #FF0000 ">Michal #0000FF ">Just asking, is this the way you spell it? Making sure that it's not a typo. the summer after seventh grade. I know, I was pretty young#00FFFF ">, wasn’t I? So young that I didn’t know any better. I#FF0080 "> was easy to manipulate, and he knew that. My best friend Lily introduced me to him. Apparently, he was her cousin’s best friend. I don’t think she meant any harm by it. I’m sure that if she had known what he was planning to do to me, she never would have introduced us.

Back then, I swore I was in love with him. Looking back now, I know I never was. I was naïve, and stupid. What I felt for him wasn’t love. It was infatuation, lust. Never love. I thought he actually cared about me. I thought he would protect me against anything and everything. I was wrong, and I had to learn that the hard way.

I never let my parents know about him. He was seventeen and I was only thirteen. Pretty self explanatory#00FFFF ">, isn’t it? My parents were always strict about boys anyway. Hell, they were strict about everything, but boys always had been the worst subject. I wasn’t even allowed to talk to boys on the phone, much less go out with them.

I remember that night perfectly. The night he stole away my innocence, the night he #FF0000 ">rapped #0000FF ">There's only one 'p' in raped. You're saying that he sang a rap song to you. me. I remember every little detail. I wasn't ready to have sex with him yet. I told him to stop. I begged and screamed, but he didn’t listen to me. It was like he wasn’t even there anymore. It was like he was in his own little world.

I didn’t recognize this part of him. I’d never seen him like that before. He wasn’t the Michal I knew anymore. He was a monster. A big, scary, out of control monster that I didn’t stand a chance #FF0000 ">of protecting myself against. He was too strong to fight off. Trust me I tried. I used every drop of strength I had to try to defend myself, but all it did was make me more and more weak.

After he was finished with me, he dropped me in some gutter and left me there like I was some #FF0000 ">piece of trash. I felt dirty, and ashamed. I knew it wasn’t my fault that he did what he did to me. I never blamed myself for it, but I couldn’t help but wish that I had never messed with him. I should’ve done what my parents had wanted and stayed away from boys until I was seventeen, but I didn’t, and I paid the price for it.

Needless to say, when my father found out what Michal had done to me, he was mad. No, he was furious. I don’t even know if that is strong enough a word to describe what he was. In a blind rage, my father grabbed his state issued gun and went out to find to find the idiot that was stupid enough to hurt his little girl.

My dad found Michal on his second day of searching. I’m still not sure how my dad managed to track Michal down. He’d never heard of him before. He didn’t even know what he looked like. I guess nothing can stand in the way of an enraged father. Anyway, as soon as my dad found Michal he shot him right between the eyes. The trial didn’t take long. Apparently, the judge had two or three daughters of his own. I guess he took pity on my dad. Maybe he felt like he would’ve done the same thing in my dad’s shoes. He gave my dad the minimum sentence. Twelve years in prison with no chance of parole until the eighth year.

About a week or two after I was #FF0000 ">rapped, I decided to take a pregnancy test, just to be safe. It came back positive. As you can probably imagine, I was terrified. I was only thirteen. I didn’t know how to take care of a baby. I had my whole life ahead of me. I had a bright and shining future to look forward to. I didn’t want some unwanted baby to come in and ruin that. Besides, I knew I wouldn’t have been a good mother to that child. That baby wasn’t conceived out of love. It was a conceived by a cruel and hateful act, and I knew I would never be able to look at it without hating it. I knew I couldn’t love it like a mother should love her child.

Against my mother’s wishes, I decided to get an abortion. She tried to tell me that I would pay for it later, but I didn’t listen. By getting an abortion, I was doing both me and the baby a favor. My mother didn’t think so, but her opinion didn’t matter to me. She didn’t understand what I was going through. I was the one who was thirteen and pregnant, not her. She just didn’t understand. Besides, the kid wouldn’t know the difference anyway. I mean, it wasn’t even born yet. What’s wrong with stopping something before it even has a chance to get started?

Twelve years after the abortion, I got married. Two years after that, I was on my way to the hospital to give birth to my baby boy. He was born shortly after we reached the hospital. Later that night, I was alone in my hospital room with my #FF0000 ">son,#0000FF ">You've already used the word 'baby' several times. who we decided to name Eliot. My husband was down stairs getting some food from the cafeteria, and all our visiting family members had long since left to give us some well needed rest.

I was lying there, not quite believing the miracle that I was holding. I watched Eliot sleep peacefully, his chest rising and falling to a steady rhythm. He looked so innocent with his little hand wrapped around my finger. So ignorant of the cruel world outside his mother’s arms.

For the first time in almost a decade, I found my thoughts drifting to the child I had aborted so long ago. It was strange to think that it would have been doing the same thing Eliot was doing, had I decided to let it be born. It would have slept in my arms just like Eliot, it's hand would have clutched my finger just like Eliot’s. It would have grown up to be a person just like Eliot. The only difference between Eliot and the aborted child was that Eliot was alive, and the aborted child was not.

Was it so bad, that none of that made me feel any remorse? Was it wrong that I still felt nothing about my decision to deny a child the right to live? It was a chance that I gave to Eliot eagerly, but one that I stole away from it. All of this made me feel like I should have felt awful, but it didn't. I refused to let myself feel guilty over a decision that I made so long ago. I forced myself to stop brooding over the past and to only look forward to the bright future a head. Just like I had so many years ago.

The next morning, we were driving home after being released from the hospital. It was raining so hard my husband could hardly see the road. All of a sudden, a huge pick up truck (at least it seemed huge to a terrified family in a tiny little sports car) came out of no where and hit us head on.

My husband and I spent the next few weeks in intensive care. We were pretty beaten up, but we eventually came out okay. Eliot wasn't so lucky. The impact was too much for his little body to take.

When they told me my baby was dead, I couldn't take it. It felt like my whole world was crashing daown around me. I started to waste away right before my own eyes. My husband and family did every thing they could to try to make it better.They would say things like "It wasn't our fault Cathrine." or "There was no way we could've avoided it."

None of it helped. I didn't listen. For the next few weeks I ate just enough to keep me alive, but only because my husband forced me to. Every thing I did hurt. It hurt to eat, it hurt to drink, it hurt to breath; It hurt to live. It wasn't untill I was over the shock that I relized something. I was finally paying the price for my aborted child.

I enjoyed this story. I have always been against abortions myself and I thought that this was good.

the night he rapped me

Wow I wasn't fully expecting that ending. This piece is very moving. Awesome job.