OverEasy

Lol I really wouldn't name a boy Cora. But I'll see if I can make her gender more clear.

Jenna> on the topic of stanzas, I rarely ever have stanzas in my poetry for whatever reason xD it's not that I am opposed to them, it's that I find ...

I'd just like to point out that even in lyrics, proper spelling and grammar are a plus. Especially the spelling :) you may want to go through and fix it.

It was decent, but you shouldn't cut sentences in half to save the flow, it just screwed the flow up entirely.. As I said at the beginning of the post, ...

Lol from an amusement standpoint, this is pretty funny. From an actual poetry standpoint... err xD It could use some work?

Joshuapaul, Though I appreciate your opinion there is one thing you cannot say, and that is that this did not happen. Because, yes, yes it did. Infact that line that ...

[EDIT to First Person] “How does the defendant plead?” the voice echoes in the room. The audience waits quietly for the answer, biting their lips as if this is their ...

I am starting to think the whole piece will be far more effective if I rewrite it in first person. I'm going to edit tonight and see how it works. ...

Gal, I appreciate that you have your opinions, however, don't ever tell me or anyone else to throw a piece of writing away simply because you are not a fan. ...

Present tense is difficult for some people to read comfortably. I know it feels like you're giving it a sense of immediacy, like, this is happening now, but sometimes past ...

Yes, but I agreed with pretty much everything you said :) Therefore I didn't feel the need to comment.

Lol I assure you this story will not have anything to do with Twilight. It sort of starts out like Twilight (think of it as my form of a Parody, ...

Karsten> Indeed, my characters are not meant to be liked, at first. Both brothers are intended to be somewhat unlikeable characters at first, as they are both very old Vampires ...

Just so everyone knows, this is an old version of a piece that I have edited very much. New Version

I am working on editing this whole chapter and creating a more vivid picture of the culture she's been raised in. I can see how it might be confusing right ...