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  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Missed Calls

    That was brilliant, the enjambment from the second to third stanza was very nicely done, this piece flowed superbly, excellent!

    Feb 23, 2007
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Chionophobia #32 /P

    OK, it's just that they cost around 1.2 million pounds which is quite a lot, but I see your point.

    Feb 22, 2007
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Chionophobia #33 /P

    "It was a small room, only about fifty square feet of space." - that's not small. Again, brilliant, very captivating.

    Feb 22, 2007
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: War-Machine

    'Twas good, but a bit too short, expension would be nice. I think "burning" is better than "blasted". Just needs length.

    Feb 21, 2007
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Chionophobia #31 /P

    "he cleared his through," - I think you mean "throat". This was brilliant, you continue to amaze. Please can you give some anwers soon, the waiting is killing me.

    Feb 20, 2007
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: The Devil's Eyes

    Lol. Not much there to criticise. The rhythym is nice, no grammar or spelling mistakes. It was very funny.

    Feb 19, 2007
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Cloakroom graffiti

    It should not have an apostrophe: "an imprint their owner’s have left behind." - "have" implies plural, so "owner's" would be "owners'". However, you only mean one "owner". Your phrase ...

    Feb 18, 2007
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Chionophobia #29 /P

    Whoa. I just read 1 to 29, non-stop. They flow from one to another just like a book, the character development and style are superb. I cannot wait to read ...

    Feb 18, 2007
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Bottled Agitation

    Sounds like a schizophrenic. It was very well put together, the line gaps added to the way in which the thought processes flow. This was completely unique, I don't think ...

    Feb 18, 2007
  • Article / Essay » Review, General Re: Lord of The Rings or Harry Potter?

    The challenge is persent in understanding the connotations and allegories in the book. Any words are easy to "read", I did not phrase that well. Being challenged by a book ...

    Feb 18, 2007
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Revisiting First grade

    I agree with Misty and BFG. I especially liked the mpersonal touch at the beginning, it added profundity to the poem. It was brilliant.

    Feb 15, 2007
  • Script » General, General Re: The Toothpaste Tragedy

    lol, make it longer

    Feb 15, 2007
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Glass Girl

    "And that smile-that Aladdin-esque smile, it was a lie" - change the first dash to a comma or the later comma to a dash, i.e.: "And that smile, that Aladdin-esque ...

    Feb 14, 2007
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: The Cadaver

    Me like, I like the omission of the indefinitive article in the first line. I cannot criticise.

    Feb 14, 2007
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Remembering

    I like this a lot. The rhythm is smooth and the rhyming is tastefully done. The theme is especially good, its very thoughtful. I can't criticise it.

    Feb 13, 2007


I tell the neophyte: Write a million words–the absolute best you can write, then throw it all away and bravely turn your back on what you have written. At that point, you’re ready to begin.
— David Eddings