Remembering
Remembering is bittersweet,
Like life, like love, like everything.
Look back on memories and smile
But feel more satisfied and cry
And let it all run down your cheeks,
Until your sorrow has run dry
And once the redness in your face
from tears has faded back to fair
Smile for all your memories
And no more sorrow will you bear.
I feel there's editing to be done but let me know what you think, thanks.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,007 Literary Works • 672,819 Reviews
I really liked this piece... it flowed perfectly!!
Great Work,
Alainna
xxxxxxx
Actually chocolate I think it would feel too soppy and too dragged out if it was any longer. I like that it is short and sweet.
I love your theme, I wanted a little teensy-tiny bit more.
It has a good feeling, it's not held back by rhymes or even syllable counts, even though you used them sometimes.
Maybe a stanza about happy memories broghtening up sad days? About treasuring your past forever, like a secret hidden deep inside?
It's pretty good as-is, but add a little more and it'll be amazing.
I agree with everyone about the rhythm and flow. The poem feels like everything has just poured out. To use a cliche, it's short and sweet!
This is really cute. I enjoyed it.
Yes,
I like this a lot I really could not find anything wrong with it. It has a great flow to it and it is pumped up so great job.
I like this a lot. The rhythm is smooth and the rhyming is tastefully done. The theme is especially good, its very thoughtful. I can't criticise it.