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Re: Broken Souls
Hi there! And even then he didn't know what that meant . S o I let my bones poke out of my skin and show how skinny I was and ...
Aug 7, 2014 -
Re: Verita Fetcher: Prologue: The Bearer of Truth
Hi there! Yay! Another novel for me to read ^_^ Hm...I think the second 'Oh, silly you' is a bit overkill. It's already been mentioned in the first line. If ...
Aug 7, 2014 -
Re: Words to Salve
Hi there! I'm not a poetry person, but I do know a little something about poetry. So I'm going to take a look at this short little poem you've got ...
Aug 7, 2014 -
Re: Battle Arena 1: Exiting Short Story: A Cloud Of Darkness
Hi there! As one the three men slashed Just a nitpick here. There should be a comma after the word 'one'. The woman fell to her knees convulsing as the ...
Aug 7, 2014 -
Re: The Prophet's Daughter Excerpt
Hi there! Therese has already pointed out the nitpicks so I'm going to focus on everything else :) Had my parents scheduled a training session and not warned me? They ...
Aug 5, 2014 -
Re: Crystal Child Part 1
Hi there! Poetry isn't my strong point so I'm just here to give you a review of what I think of this overall. I'll be focusing more on the feel ...
Aug 5, 2014 -
Re: The Chains of Duty Chapter 3:The Twins
Hi there! About time I got around to this, right? Sorry I've been a bit busy. But I'm here to review now! :D Immediately, the throne room began to slowly ...
Aug 5, 2014 -
Re: Goals of two types: Spencers Adventures Intro.
Hi there! So, first thing I noticed when I first saw this was that the paragraphs are long. There are only three paragraphs in this entire chapter. Even shorter chapters ...
Aug 4, 2014 -
Re: Rooftops, Guards and the Fire of a Young Mans Heart
Hi there! Many rumors circulate about these rare and extraordinarily gifted men and women . and A t the darkest parts of night you can hear old men tell stories ...
Aug 4, 2014 -
Re: Remember our pattern
Hi there! I find this a very interesting piece. It's under the category of poetry, yet it isn't in the same poetic form that I see other poetry in. As ...
Aug 4, 2014 -
Re: Instant: 1
Hi there! Just a quick nitpick here: Half tempted to just rip both legs off Her feet were just hurting a second ago. So wouldn't she want to rip her ...
Aug 3, 2014 -
Re: Life As A Criminal Book 2 Prolouge
Hi there! Before I start the review, I just want you to keep in mind that I haven't read Book 1. After reading this though, I think I'll go back ...
Aug 3, 2014 -
Re: True Love
Hi there! My heart swells as I stare into his lovely, pale blue eyes. The s ide of his face is illuminated At this point I don't know who this ...
Aug 2, 2014 -
Re: For Everly: Chapter 3: Family
Hi there! Dad builds a sandcastle with seven-year-old Everly So you're writing this in first person. But this right here is written in third person. Now, I know it's a ...
Aug 2, 2014 -
Re: Syrin: Chapter 15 (Part 1)
Hi there! About time I got these reviews done, huh? So here we get to learn more about Ashley and her history. That's good seeing as we didn't really know ...
Aug 2, 2014
