Nate

A couple things, having nothing to do with the poem: 1. If you are going to post a picture like that, then this work must be rated R. Since it's ...

Night Masquerade ->> Trust me when I say that if that is how you truly feel, then this site is not for you. The Young Writers Society is for people ...

I like this poem except some things that don't make sense. I agree with triggerfingerxx. If its a story put it in a story form. Gothgirl, I'm a bit confused ...

I've read this over a few times now (actually several), and the image I keep on forming in my mind is that of a newspaper. It seems to me that ...

Bravo Pengu! Bravo! Alrighty then, some comments: In a poem like this, avoid transitive verbs. They interrupt the flow of the piece, and then we start getting into debates about ...

Don't worry about which category of poetry to put it in because you probably put it in the best one. It ain't dramatic because you are talking to only one ...

Hey ET, welcome to YWS! When posting your story in the future, do not attach it. People are unlikely to open it as it could contain a virus. I went ...

Welcome to YWS! Firstly, is this at all based on the video game for the 360? I've never played it and don't know much about it, but I was curious. ...

The ending is indeed quite strange, but it has that kind of surreal quality to it that goes along with a dream, so it is actually quite fitting. Your descriptions ...

I think you did a pretty good job with this. You have nice descriptions, and it's very vivid. My only advice would be to take what you have and have ...

Hah, love the Che Guavara comment! The story was too short, though. The ending with the homeless poet was very good and doesn't need much more polish, but there's very ...

I'll comment on the other critiques only insofar as to the research elements of nuclear missiles. Right now, there are about 20,000 nuclear missiles in the world, although that number ...

Not sure if you've read it, but it sounds somewhat similar to "The Game" in "The Worthing Saga" by Orson Scott Card. It's a Risk & Civilization like game with ...

You said you wanted a critique by me ;) But stick through the whole thing. I started out with the tearing up part first, but I'd do that even if ...

As everyone else has said, you start out pretty well. You've introduced a few things here: the character's name, what he's like, and a possible conflict. So now you have ...