Mizzle

I didn't like the jagged-ness of the poem, or how it flowed. And how you broke the lines in the beginning--that wasn't my favorite either. But still, good job. A ...

Aqua and Hope pointed out it sounds like lyrics--and it did for me, too. Because as Aqua said, I could think of a few bands who would sing something like ...

Whoa. This is absolutely great. I loved, loved, loved this times twenty. It was new, different, and something out of the ordinary! And it was awesome! Really spectacular. I was ...

I agree with Hope and Aqua about the slightly forced rhythm, as well as the cliche feeling to it--it made me think of Twilight. D: Anyhoo, I do think this ...

Whoa. I really, really liked this. Seems like everyone's covered most of it, so I'll keep my review short. I really like the idea, a lot, actually. It's been used, ...

I'm just going to go through the whole thing, if you don't mind! ^_^ I hate everything you do , I hate everything you say , And from first sight ...

Whoa. Wonderful, this is--honestly flawless. I think the only thing might be what anima9 pointed out, though instead of changing it to what he/she said, I would think something such ...

Long ago this very soul Held a story never told Here, I've removed the word 'with' because I didn't think it fit well Forever never knowing what this future holds ...

Okeydokes. I'm here to review, let's begin. In my world within it forever rains, Here I would remove 'within' Dreary and broke n hearted Thrown into constant dissent, Rage quakes ...

Hawkie, I see you've already had a quite a lot of replies. Yet, I'm still going to comment ^_^ This is really a beautiful poem; magnificent work here, Hawk. I ...

Kamas--this is awesome. Really, really awesome. Besides what everyone's said (existance is existence, rhymthically is rhythmically), it's literally perfect. I can't find any faults here. The imagery i

First of all, great poem. You can tell it really has depth beneath it. I think everyone covered all the critiques I had...and I'm lazy, so I'm just going to ...

Wow, Kamas. I must say...I'm now jealous of your subconscious, as well. The fact that you can write this in your sleep...*shakes head in amazement* I found barely any nitpicks ...

Just a few comments, as stated below. [pt.1] She awake ned in a panic state, as if trapped inside herself. Try awakened, not awake. She tried to escape , but ...

First of all, great poem. Really deep in the emotions, and very well written. I only have a few corrections you might find helpful (or you can just throw them ...