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Re: Pure
Hmm. This is...okay. Not great, not good, not awesomesauce, just okay. I didn't like the bold font. It annoyed me. I don't need fonts to tell me how it's said. ...
Jan 17, 2010 -
Re: Hopes and Dreams
Hey, there. Hope you're having a good day! Anyhoo, I like what you're poem's wishes are--so nice of things, what every human wants, in a way. I do think you ...
Jan 12, 2010 -
Re: Snowflake Garden
Hi! Nice poem you've made here. I really like it. I didn't like how you repeated "the bittersweet chills". It felt overused, out of place, and made me question the ...
Jan 9, 2010 -
Re: Friends
Hi, there! I like this poem. It's a very sad subject--losing a childhood friend is so very hard--but you wrote it well. It seemed very neutral, not a poem that ...
Jan 9, 2010 -
Re: Are we all gone?
Hey! Great poem, here. You've done a really fantastic job. I like this a lot. The second version you wrote is better than the first by far--miles. I was already ...
Jan 9, 2010 -
Re: Fake Everything
Hi, there! Nice poem, here. As a few others have said, this is very simple and short--which isn't a bad thing at all, if that's how you want it to ...
Jan 9, 2010 -
Re: Broken Mirror
This was okay. Strictly okay. As Kamas said, it needed to have more of a graceful language to pull this off correctly. Maybe saying something different then what you said--because ...
Jan 9, 2010 -
Re: Ode to the Gambler (Victory)
Hey, Howler! Nice subject of poetry you've chosen--luck and chance! So very cool. And unique, even better.The poem itself isn't fabolous, but it's okay. I really like the idea, though. ...
Jan 9, 2010 -
Re: Mom
First of all, I love this--the subject, the way it's written, it's beautiful. Tears would have come to my eyes if I was one of those people who cry at ...
Jan 9, 2010 -
Re: Deleted
Hi. Nice work, here. :) I think that if you branched out from just describing this and add more, it'd be much better. Also, maybe keep the lines a little ...
Jan 9, 2010 -
Re: My Place
Hi. Nice work here, to start. It has very nice flow, and the simplicity of it all adds to the nothingness feeling as Amy pointed out. I like that! Also, ...
Jan 9, 2010 -
Re: Butterfly Shaped Stains
Hi Red--just a quick overview of what I think! You use half rhymes, as a few others have said. Flow is key. And that means the rhymes have to fit ...
Jan 9, 2010 -
Re: Losing Faith
This is okay--one dimensional, as Kamas said. The rhyme here is quite nice, so good job on that. I like the whole point of the poem, the idea. It interested ...
Jan 9, 2010 -
Re: Memories of Autumn
Hey, Kyousuke! Great work here. I'm a big fan of autumn, and the leaves and colors are my favorite part. I'm partial to this, to say. But as Hope mentioned, ...
Jan 9, 2010 -
Re: Daphne
Hiya Flit! This is a half/half beautiful poem--a sort of. It flowed very well, which makes it easy to read and very enjoyable. The writing style you use is spectacular, ...
Jan 9, 2010
