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oh btw, the bit about Alec: hr's kinda cookoo. He's meddled with a lot of concoctions so he's not a hundred percent normal So his personality isn't hat he's reserved ...

Thx Shady %uD83D%uDE01

That makes sense! I think it would be a great story to come back to and flesh out a lot more.

Do you use it online? cuz it doesn't catch my mistakes unless I'm typing on a website. I usually put my chapter into after writing it on my microsoft Word

I get what you wre going for with the forest noise. And like I said, I don't think most people would notice, but I'm kind of a perfectionsit. I actually ...

go read the first two chapters :)

okay, so I thought some things would be more clear without having to spell them out AKA missing father/hate of soldiers. The whole Carris-looks-Sadorians isn't supposed to be a hint ...

okay great!!! as I said, since it's first-person it's definitely not a huge deal

It's ok to post, even if you're unsure! That's what reviews are for %uD83D%uDE01

oof so much to think about! Thanks for all the comments. :D I will DEFINITELY look into all of that, especially the dialogue.

Yeah, I feel like it's starting to drag a bit. I think once they get out of the cave system things will pick up and we'll really get moving with ...

Yeah, I feel like it's starting to drag a bit. I think once they get out of the cave system things will pick up and we'll really get moving with ...

looking for an lms novel that's still going, eh? I have what you seek

Haha glad you liked it so much. It was definitely one my favorite to write and reread so far %uD83D%uDE01 I will fix that typo and check on Eridan's dialogue ...

haha glad to help. I know it can get busy :D okay as in pronouns opposed to she her hers? That makes more sense. I was low-key like "there's no ...