-
Re: Family Memories, Dead Wasps and Swimming Pools
Hey, Pattern! I loved the thoughts in this, but I'm still a little confused. First is this supposed to be a poem or a story, because it doesn't exactly feel ...
Sep 25, 2016 -
Re: Of Band-aids and bullet holes
Don't really know where to begin with this, but I'll try. It's a very emotional piece, and that's what I love about it. It's also what what made it a ...
Jun 1, 2015 -
Re: The Voices In My Head
Alright, where to start? Well first off I liked your theme, the person was degrading and belittling themselves, and blaming it on 'voices'. In reality it's just their guilt for ...
May 31, 2015 -
Re: deleted
Wow. There so many things I could say about this. Deep, is the first that comes to mind, bold is another. You list all theses awful crimes against humanity they ...
May 31, 2015 -
Re: His Game
Ohhhhhhh now I see how the other one's a prequel! This one's pretty cool to, though. A few mistakes here and there, like in your last stanza you wrote "And ...
May 31, 2015 -
Re: Cassandra
Hey, hey it's eleven eleven when I'm writing this, so make a wish! No, but in all seriousness I liked it. I liked how you had like just the right ...
May 31, 2015 -
Re: A Gentleman Fighter (Speaking to the Devil)
Most intriguing, I must admit. However, I'm gonna go out on a limb, and say that this isn't just about the devil's sly ways. But instead about people who you ...
May 31, 2015 -
Re: Thoughts slip between the trees
Interesting, I like it! A little confusing towards the end, but I get it. It seems almost like a warning. Like the dark side of the human mind. How are ...
May 31, 2015 -
Re: A Tribute to Charlie.
Hi! You're knew on the site, right? If so, welcome to the epicness that is YWS! Okay now, on to your story! First off of I said I didn't like ...
May 31, 2015 -
Re: My soul, for a wish~
Yes!!! Flubbing awesome piece of work you got here. I feel like the person talking has suffered from some sort of abuse from her love. It kind of reminds me ...
Feb 14, 2015 -
Re: Runaway
Intriguing is the first word that poped into my head after I finished reading this. I feel like you could've gone deeper into detail, but for your first poem on ...
Nov 30, 2014 -
Re: [reworking ch. 1
Well I really like you writing style, the detail I mean, and the story seems pretty cool so far as well. However, I felt there were some parts that were ...
Nov 30, 2014 -
Re: Part 1: Melinda Marvolo
Sup Doc! Terrence on marjuanna! Even though I did not see that coming by a long shot I can't say I'm too surprised. At least that's what half of me ...
Oct 26, 2014 -
Re: The Lady or the Tiger (Alt Ending)
This was most definately an interesting take on the lady or the tiger. When my class read it I was literally the only one who still believed that the princess ...
Oct 26, 2014 -
Re: I can't explain
I like the idea for the story, but I think it needs to be better spaced, and spell checked. Also I feel like it needs more of a discription, like ...
Oct 26, 2014
