Mad

It's nice enough in its sentimentality but it doesnt really offer anything new because it sort of builds upon the "if you cry, I cry" version of love, without offering ...

The song composed by the watermelon pips that rained upon the sopping dirt was a lie. Now this first part come over a bit randomly to me. If there was ...

So boy, you're going to that party on Friday night? Oh yes dad, it's gonna be a rockin' sight! Good first two lines, I can quite clearly determine between the ...

It's an unusual piece, I don't normally see poems with lines so long. Don't give any lip, don't be a smart aleck. In this opening line I don't think smart ...

Don't waste away, life's not going out of style I think you need to find a different way of phrasing this line, "style" sticks out and doesn't feel like it ...

The choice of words, as people have already said, is very good. Nicely chosen descriptive words which create a vivid image. Now, commas, someone else has already commented on this ...

It's an intriguing story, but some of the writing just needs to be touched up a bit. At times sentences are too short or some elaboration is needed on certain ...

It's a nice piece and creates some very strong visual images. The first stanza does that very well, one problem I spotted in it was I sink, nor swim, in ...

It's a pretty good poem. The punctuation is good (something some people tend to leave out when posting here). First verse is very nice, repetition of "The" at the start ...

The rhythm for the poem isn't great. The lines start out much longer and then get much shorter as the poem continues. While a few short lines here and there ...

Invisibility The cloak of humility You do as they tell you Always helping out Considered great by those you assist But you are not so wonderful inside. Inside you are ...

First of all, what Skell said was right, you need to do more showing and less telling. (I feel a bit hypocritical saying that, I always tell instead of show ...

Nice poem ANI. Does the line spacing mean something? I thought it was a very pretty poem, makes me want to go out and see my friends right now. My ...

It's all broken, you need to add punctuation and run some lines onto each other. I don’t fear you I love you These can be nice and short, add some ...

It has an interesting start, which is quite unusual. A family of doctors who have little chemical naming competitions. Not something I've ever seen before. It's very original. The writing ...