Liz

You definitely need to be more succint. It kind of dragged on after a while. It was good though, nice concept and good connection with the reader. Just make it ...

Um. False. What Midnight said.

Yeah, try to break free from the cliches. It's hard to at first, but you can't write poetry if you're going to just write what we've all heard a thousand ...

Cool concept. I like the symbolism too, it really made your message powerful. Good work!

Meh. Don't we all know it. This needs critical grammatical editing. It sounds like one of those samey r&b songs; make it poetic.

Pretty. I like the personal aspect of it, it really adds feeling to the poem. A little more impact would be good, but the simplicity is very effective. Nice work.

I think a little more impact wouldn't have gone astray, but I like the idea and the writing style. A little more interest and it's a good poem.

Nah, I like a bit of spunk in a poem. This had a nice tone. Good work.

Thanks guys. No, it wasn't an assignment for school. Read some e.e.cummings, a lot of my stuff is influenced by him. As for the Paris reference, yeah, it's personal, as ...

:shock: Lol, thank you! Hopefully I won't disappoint you...

I liked it, especially the end. It really brought everything together and expressed the main emotion of the poem. Well done.

I liked the conversational tone, but you need to add some interest. Also, punctuation would be a good idea. Not bad, though.

Yeah, emotion_less is right. You've got all the old cliches in here, and no originality. Good concept, try to express it in a more interesting, fresh way.

Yeah, that's me :) Thanks for the comments guys.

You really need to expand, just to make the concept clearer. Not bad though.