Thanks guys.
No, it wasn't an assignment for school. Read some e.e.cummings, a lot of my stuff is influenced by him.
As for the Paris reference, yeah, it's personal, as is most of the poem. So I understand if you don't get it all 
did you see the mashedpurestewed
icehailsnow (simply frozen water in different so many millions
of forms) mixed up with the grass,
a swimming white blanket of cold across
grey and green.
people out taking photographs what a sight,
two worlds collided - white and green.
it was two o'clock and hail was pumelling on the windscreen.
at first it was artycracklingnatural rain.
then hugewrithingmilk stones joined it.
you will never understand the weightless thrill
of slipping along the road listening
to the cold drum of hard ice on the windscreen.
it's a bold silence louder than thunder.
yum creamy paper slaty ink pearly rain.
i can hear everybeat and it feels like tincold like my skin
is the black rooves. and it's wet.
blonde LIGHTNING just illuminated the sky
and i heard swooping THUNDER ruffle the skyblanket.
the world's exploding, here's its sinking, dark, vast noises
printed like dna across the sky.
i hope it rains in paris maybe not as
blindly as this, but rain all the same.
i'll open my curtains like i did now
and let cold inch its way onto me
and glare out at crushingly wet pariscity.
i used to think we drew the curtains at night because
it kept dark out but no it's cause we'd get cold.
i want to get cold. colddreaming coldwandering coldbreathing.
written: Sunday 5th September 2004, 10:01pm
Thanks guys.
No, it wasn't an assignment for school. Read some e.e.cummings, a lot of my stuff is influenced by him.
As for the Paris reference, yeah, it's personal, as is most of the poem. So I understand if you don't get it all
This poem had a lot of interesting imagery in it, but when you put the words together it seemed to be a forced jusxtaposition, like you were trying to meet a quota of mashed-together phrases. Some of the stanzas were...interesting...
I hope it rains in paris maybe not as
blindly as this, but rain all the same.
i want to get cold. colddreaming coldwandering coldbreathing.
This was really descriptive and pretty good, but could use some work
did you see the mashedpurestewed
icehailsnow (simply frozen water in different so many millions
of forms) mixed up with the grass,
a swimming white blanket of cold across
grey and green.
people out taking photographs what a sight,
two worlds collided - white and green.
it was two o'clock and hail was pumelling on the windscreen.
at first it was artycracklingnatural rain.
then hugewrithingmilk stones joined it.
you will never understand the weightless thrill
of slipping along the road listening
to the cold drum of hard ice on the windscreen.
it's a bold silence louder than thunder.
yum creamy paper slaty ink pearly rain.
i can hear everybeat and it feels like tincold like my skin
is the black rooves. and it's wet.
blonde LIGHTNING just illuminated the sky
and i heard swooping THUNDER ruffle the skyblanket.
the world's exploding, here's its sinking, dark, vast noises
printed like dna across the sky.
i hope it rains in paris maybe not as
blindly as this, but rain all the same.
i'll open my curtains like i did now
and let cold inch its way onto me
and glare out at crushingly wet pariscity.
i used to think we drew the curtains at night because
it kept dark out but no it's cause we'd get cold.
i want to get cold. colddreaming coldwandering coldbreathing.
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