Liz

Nice. You really created an atmosphere. Well-written, interesting, nice ending. Good work.

Hmm. I kind of drifted off, it didn't capture my attention. It's a little annoying how they talk, makes it hard to read. With a lot of improvement this wouldn't ...

It's good, but you do need to expand. The whole "guiding light" thing is a bit worn-out, so I suggest that you put some personal emotions in here, more than ...

Good. The jacket thing is kind of overdone, but I like how you portrayed it here.

Great. Um...let me try to think of some crit. No, sorry. It's brilliant. Great work.

Well, it's not bad, but I have to say that it's another cliched love poem. I think you should drop the rhyme scheme; it isn't helping the poem and it ...

Not bad. You created the characters pretty well considering you improvised. You need to edit but that's about it. Good job.

I like it. Original as usual, and of course the last line was brilliant.

It wasn't bad until the last six lines. Then it was great. Nice work.

Not bad. Fix up the last line, maybe expand a bit, and good work.

I liked it. Definitely interesting, with so many ideas it was hard to keep up. Nice work.

I like it. In places the rhyme scheme seemed forced, especially in the second stanza, but overall you had a nice concept and it was well-written. So good work.

Rhyming is absolutely fine, but as soon as you notice it becoming forced, scrap it. It will only hinder the poem overall and bring it down to a level that's ...

Not bad at all. I think it would be a lot better with TBR's suggestions, but I did like it. Nice work.

I agree. Wow. So many abstract thoughts that really make a lot of sense when you think about them. Really original too, great job!