Livinginfantasy

The promise of utopia always hanging over our heads, we follow dutifully. Utopia remains elusive. Hell remains. I... Loved... That... Ending! And title! The rythym was very nice. I was ...

Hmm... I see where this is going. But, I have to say this is indeed lacking. Then again, that as an element that I liked. not that it's a good ...

I have to agree with Liz, I do feel you are shoving it down my throat. Try making it smoother and showing me. I want to see Russia and the ...

Characterization. I felt that was the biggest flaw in this piece. It was very nice I must say, but coming from a five year old? If this was a flashback ...

What a very nice perspective! I love the idea and the ending. As others have said, it's great that you just didn't come right out and say, "hey, it's a ...

Is it just me, or when you read this aloud, it sounds like a song? That was a nice effect. Wonderful word choice too... I like! Its shadow falls across ...

*sniffle* Oh man! That was so sweet! You're friend will have to keep this in thier pocket wherever they go... I know I would! Nice description words. Beautiful poem. :smt022

*tear* AH! So sad. But, I believe it would've been stronger if you told it from her point of view. Characterization is a big in something like this, in my ...

AWWWWWW! That was so sweet! Apart from a few grammatical errors, which I'm sure were pointed out, that was the cutest. I seriously almost cried. I literally said 'aww' so ...

Detective Arnold Baxter rolled up to the corner of Cherry St. and Oxford Blvd. in his 1996 Lincoln Continental. It was 6:30 PM on August 25, but the temperature in ...

I must say, I have become a fan of yours. Once again, this was beautiful. Oh, and that title. Gotta love the title. It drew me in. I honestly couldn't ...

UH-MAZE-ING! Wow. This was beautiful. The metaphors, the imagery, the stucture, the word choice. Flawless. I do agree though, that first paragraph was unnecessary. Damn. I forgot to let the ...

Why did I think of Earth day when I read this? I really didn't like it. I don't know why, I just think if you were to look hard enough, ...

Their teeth are lizards, slithering on crimson meat and slapping spiked tails into bone. Their cleft chins and minute ears pierce the French tan, the cultured cheeks. That has to ...

Very nice. I think the title fits very well with the piece, Also, your emotion and personification are very well done. My only problem is that your secod stanza sounds ...