Leja

Ciao, unsterblichkeit! I think that this poem would be even better if it were longer. Don't worry so much about explaining the poem at the beginning, but rather write it ...

Filled with enchantment and adventure and indescribable wonder. But it's your job as a poet to describe the indescribable wonder! ^_^ This is a very good start, and there's a ...

Down they fall Doomed they all In the whole poem, I liked these lines the best for their sound. They're very heavy words that seem to bring even more weight ...

Love the imagery! Her eyelashes are helicopter blades

First, there doesn't have to be punctuation at the end of every line. Try reading it aloud like this: "You kiss me [breath] but your lips never touched mine. you ...

The first thing I thought of when I read this through was "get rid of the time structure" meaning, it doesn't matter what ages you or your friends were and ...

Ooh, I love differences of opinion voiced in whole essays or other entities of literature. The end result is so much more thought provoking (and thought out) than most other ...

I think that this essay could be helped a great deal by focusing it. There is a lot of talk about "we are" and "we have" but are you trying ...

I don't know what to make of this. It seems like the kind of thing that's supposed to be poignant and sound all "deep" but it doesn't appear to really ...

There's a solid beginning here for a very persuasive essay, but it is sorely in need of organisation. Instead of launching straight into the argument, as you do in the ...

For a persuasive essay, I have very little idea of what you're talking about. It isn't that I haven't understood the words you've written, but it just seems to be ...

I've been thinking about this one for a few days, and honestly, I quite like it. Even back when you posted it for NaPoWriMo, I thought "squee, I like this ...

After the first two lines, I was disappointed. The difference between the first two lines and the rest of the poem is that the first two lines are about something ...

Hello new member calmmermaid ^_^ First of all, I'd like to welcome you to YWS and encourage you to review a few things before you post. Try to keep it ...

I sort of wish you'd connected the Earth image a little more throughout the poem. The first three lines are perfect for this image, but then the Earth is sort ...