Leja

“Excusa,” she said, tapping an imaginary watch and smiling wryly. Lynnie smiled weakly in response. The words to accept her apology were evading her. I'm rather confused here. Is she ...

First off, you should try to put a space in between paragraphs; it makes it much easier to read. Yes, it might require some extra work, but it's defineately worth ...

The soft music resonated throughout the room, and I couldn’t help but react. “Lips of an Angel” always did that to me, I couldn’t help but sway by myself. As ...

Hmm, a little angry about something? I really wish you'd capitalized God in the single line following the first stanza. Or make it plural. After a while, capital letters just ...

What I didn't like was that you defined livre, calling attention to the fact that it's an acrostic poem. I like how covers/colors sound together. Were I you, I'd switch ...

They looked into each other’s eyes, and sweet melodies seemed to ring in their ears. Sweet lullabies tuned out the fear, and the anxiety that formed tensions between the two. ...

the bubblegum billows, a planet’s bubblegum seems too cutesy a word for this line. molded shampoo left unsucked from same with shampoo. It's like you're sounding all forboding and knowledgable, ...

Reading the first part, I felt like saying "Okay, I'll step here, but why am I doing so? To what purpose?" Did you mean for the sole/soul doublish meaning? The ...

I mean, I can do arithmetic good, but algebra eludes me. I mean, how is algebra even useful in the real world? It’s not! I mean, by the way the ...

This might be a little more effective if you didn't say right out that you're using batteries as a metaphor for life. As it is, it seems like a T-chart: ...

Twisting the rusty taps with her free [s]left[/s] hand, Tess ran her hands under the spray of water. Distinguishing her free hand as her left hand is unnecessary and a ...

Tess Browne was one of the few that had managed to cling to sobriety in to the later hours of the party. The repetition of "to" here annoyed me. [s]The ...

That wasn't too bad. The overload of chatspeak got to me after awhile, though. Maybe when her friend gets nervous: allie68 5:04 pm: ok I'm scared now. come back. allie68 ...

As you pace through this song Try to breathe on your own Or you’ll sync up your heartbeat too hehe. It's catchy, I think. I haven't heard the music yet; ...

I think it's absolutely perfect. Comparing only wanting to live to lyrics? *loves* I don't think it's vague at all. I think it's too the point with a kind of ...