KitxKat

I really find this interesting. It's quite short, but I think something really good can come out of it.

That was simple and beautiful. I could practically feel everything the speaker is feeling. You're flow is easy to follow, with breaks in the right places. Congrats ~Kit

I love you're topic. It's something everyone can relate to, and well chosen. The only thing is when I read this, I don't read a poem, I read a song. ...

That was a really powerful poem. The emotion was strong and great, and the description was perfect. I found that it flowed well and and the stanza's were easy reads. ...

That was good. Like amazingly good. This main character is strong, plot is better then most things I've read. nothing for me to correct, which is good for me. So, ...

There is nothing for me to be all critical about. Which is good. So that was basically wonderful. I love your description, word choice 'Luxuria' the way you started the ...

Hey SO this is definitely interesting, in a good way. Your description is strong, but I don't really feel the emotion. Maybe explain how she died? I totally wanna read ...

It's.....interesting Strong, with interesting lyrics. Keep working on it.

Whale Singer I doubt you've even heard of it THe plot was see-though, the girl was a major Mary-Sue. Go read Whole Rider instead.

This is interesting. I find the language usage too Shakespearian for my taste. It'd be harder for readers who haven't read any Shakespeare. It is an interesting Idea, though.

That was very interesting. There were few grammar errors I noticed. PM me when you get the first chapter up If you do. I would love to read it!

Yes, quite cheesy. But I find that benefits it. Lightens the mood a bit.

Interesting. As I've said a ton, already~Use the senses. You're already pretty good at that, and your piece has the right amount of emotion. Good job.

It was interesting. 'Justin's yanked her arm' i think should be 'Justin yanked her arm. I'd say, slow down a little bit more. Use the senses. Become the character.

THis would be a WAY better ending then them both dying.