When our love has died,
And all hope is lost,
Let me find peace in your arms.
My life's been invested in your simple smile,
Please help keep my heart beating strong.
-
When the sun has set,
And night lasts til' death,
Let me find hope in your eyes.
For, my strength lies with you and you're all that I have,
And I can't keep fighting this crippling despair.
-
Our candle's burnt out, and now there's no light,
Blindly I cling to the last thing I know,
To let go would launch me into that wretched hell,
Which strangeness infests, greedily eating one's life.
-
When the air stops being so generous,
Stealing my breaths like you once had done,
Just please give me this one thing that I want,
To know that I did you no wrong.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Wow. This is awesome as!! I also especially like the last line. I think you had an 'And' somewhere that could do with being removed other than that this poem is A to the Mazing
Very well said, very relatable.
A lot of emotion in this poem!
I especially like the last line,
I find that the most powerful line in the whole poem.
One thing I didn't really understand is the use of the comma in the line
The For,, I'm not exactly sure what that's supposed to do. But take that out and you have yet another powerful line.
Wow, I was blown away by the emotion in this poem!
I really love this stanza it is a great ending to the poem
The only thing that bugged me with this poem is it didn't flow well enough to my liking, the lines sometimes differed in a way that I felt was not quite right, that is why I liked this last stanza so much!
I mean I like this stanza, but something about it bugs me in the fact it seems kind of awkward in it's flow.
I mean I may be wrong, take it on board if you want or message me to discuss further, keep it up awesome poem
That was simple and beautiful.
I could practically feel everything the speaker is feeling.
You're flow is easy to follow, with breaks in the right places.
Congrats
~Kit
Wow...there was just so much...emotion put into this poem. I absolutely loved it. For some reason or another, these were my favorite lines:
Anyways, great poem. Keep it up!
~mybrokenreality