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Re: The Open Window
Wow. I really didn't expect that plot twist, I literally just thought it was a "monster" in her dream and she thought it was real. And than the ending just ...
Nov 2, 2014 -
Re: The Sims Fanfiction
Uhmm, honestly, I have no idea if you are being sarcastic or not. It's seems half sarcastic and half real when they actually speak in English. While I'm on that ...
Oct 27, 2014 -
Re: The Reverends son
Ignore this post
Oct 26, 2014 -
Re: Jasper Loom: Mr gravity
I see you have many paragraphs that are big clumps, they are kind of hard, but if you split the big ones in two, it'll make your story longer and ...
Oct 26, 2014 -
Re: Frozen hope -Chapter 2
I found quite a few grammar mistakes. I haven't read any previous pieces of this novel, so I might ask questions that have already been answered. We sat in an ...
Oct 26, 2014 -
Re: That which exists without my knowledge exists without my consent (2)
This is more of a comment/review, but why did you name this piece "That which exists without my knowledge exists my consent" I also must say, this piece was very ...
Oct 26, 2014 -
Re: .
Hello! I couldn't find any mistakes with your piece, it was quiet entertaining, but some parts I didn't understand (I guess I wasn't reading good enough) How did she get ...
Oct 26, 2014 -
Re: The Anomalies: The Valkyrie File Chp 2 A New Friend
Woah. There was a lot of things wrong grammatically incorrect, and I did find it very dull, I am going to be straightforward here. I have a lot of nitpicks ...
Oct 26, 2014 -
Re: Here there be Darkness :2:
Hello Jumpy! I am here to review your work because nobody else has because it's hard to pick out the nitpicks.. D: Please don't do anything stupid[,] Hanni. Joshtua looked ...
Oct 26, 2014 -
Re: Network of Keys Chapter 10; Cynthia, Windows
I loved how you described the scenes in this piece, the beginning was extremely humorous. The last thing anyone wants to wake up to is the smell of urine. Unfortunately, ...
Oct 26, 2014 -
Re: Chapter 27: The Capitol
Do not cut this chapter or the one after this. I think it's perfect, I'm not kidding. I don't see what is so wrong with it that you'd have to ...
Oct 26, 2014 -
Re: The Psychic Circle: Chapter 19
I've read something sort of like this except it was based off of Wiccan Culture, it's a series called SWEEP, and they did circles like you wrote in here. Honestly, ...
Oct 26, 2014 -
Re: Little Sister Chapter 2 [EDITED]
I did find a handful of grammar mistakes, I felt as though you could have delved deeper into the plot, the part when you said *flashback was not needed, because ...
Oct 26, 2014 -
Re: Chapter 4: Harassment
When I started reading this, I thought it was a humor piece about a Skunk that had explosive diarrhea and had a ringtone. Almost everything in this piece is HUMOROUS! ...
Oct 26, 2014 -
Re: The Tales of the Argonauts: The Osorezu and the Hana (13-2)
Okay. I have to admit; I was bored. It just isn't a type of writing style I'd usually read, honestly I have no idea why, though. Overall it was a ...
Oct 26, 2014